Prof: I’m tired of writing eulogies to musicians who mean something to me. I’m not going to do it anymore. The musical selections today will speak for themselves. Godspeed, my fellow Arkansan.
Phillies 5, Braves 2 – Prof: Why the eff can’t Atlanta beat the Phillies? Seriously! It’s starting to get ridiculous. I mean, if the Phillies played the Braves all the time you’d think they were the 2001 Mariners or something. Anyway, Johan Camargo had a freak injury and the Braves finally, FINALLY, put in Max Fried to pitch. Oh yeah (insert Barry White music here), Max Fried… I’ve been waiting for Fried to take the mound all week and that big sexy delivery of his didn’t disappoint. That sounds nasty, you guys. I’m sorry.
Astros 5, White Sox 8 – Scouts: Kevan Smith homered and doubled, driving in 4 runs for the White Sox. Dallas Keuchel had not his best day of work giving up 10 hits and 8 runs over just 4 innings.
Brewers 4 , Twins 11 – Prof: Woooohooo! The Border Battle continues, and the Twins took this one from Milwaukee with glee. Brian Dozier hit a grand salami, Eddie Rosario hit two solo homers and young Max Kepler (who I would love to see in a Braves uniform, sorry Happy!) hit a two run and solo bombs of his own.
Yankees 2, Blue Jays 4 – Scouts: CC Sebathia got smacked around a little, lasting just 3 innings and giving up two-run homers to Josh Donaldson twice. After the game CC was sent back to New York to get evaluated for a knee injury.
Rockies 1, Indians 4 – Prof: The Magical Land of Cleve had a last minute three run homer. It was Yan Gone. HA! Get it? Because Yan Gomes hit it? Yeah… that’s awful. I’m sorry. Surprising that they were able to get that off of the league’s save leader (Greg Holland).
Rangers 4, Mets 5 – Prof: Hey, Mets! Y’all won! And you bet a really good team! Thanks to Yoenis Cespedes, Travis d’Arnaud, and my boy Michael Conforto, all of whom hit home runs. Joey Gallo hit a home run, too; it was his 31st of the season.
Orioles 2, Angels 3 – Scouts: Parker Bridwell shut down his former team giving up just 1 run over 7 solid innings. Bridwell who the O’s recently traded away for cash is now 6-1 with a 3.00 ERA. The O’s offense ran out of gas a little leaving 17 men on base.
Padres 7, Reds 3 – Scouts: Yangervis Solarte went 3-5 with 3 RBI to provide support for Luis Perdomo’s 2 run, 7 strikeout over 6 innings start.
Red Sox 2, Rays 0 –Prof: Two things you can take away from this game. One, Chris Sale K’d up thirteen batters, and two, don’t eat anything at the Trop – they finished dead last in a list of major league stadiums in food safety and health violations. They are worse than Kauffman Stadium, which once served moldy hot dogs for goodness’ sake. That’s definitely not good eats. Anyway, back to the game. Craig Kimbrel got his 28th save.
Mariners 7, Athletics 6 F/10 – Scouts: Down 6-2 after 5, the M’s rallied back picking up a run here and a run there before eventually breaking the tie with a Leonys Martin so-lo homer in the 10th.
Cubs 3, Giants 6 – Scouts: Buster Posey launched a early three-run home-run and the Cubs were unable to recover. Newly acquired Jose Quintana picked up the loss after giving up 4 runs over 6 innings.
Marlins 7, Nationals 3 – Prof: All Giancarlo Stanton does is tower over mortal men and hit home runs. And that’s what he did last night, crushing a league leading 38th homer as the Feesh took out the NL East presumed champs. Vance Worley gets yet another win. Good for you, Vancey Pants!
Tigers 3, Pirates 6 – Scouts: Chad Kuhl struck out 6 and picked up two RBI’s to help his own cause. On Sunday Pirates GM Neal Huntington announced that he expects to never see Jung Ho Kang again following his second denial for a work visa following his third DUI in South Korea since 2009. Kang’s career may be over as since he’s still technically under Pirate control he’s unable to play in Korea either and now is in limbo. Kang is still under investigation for a sexual assault in Chicago in 2016.
Cardinals 10, Royals 3 – Prof: Hey, Michael Wacha! He’s quietly assembled a 9-4 record on a Cardinals team that started out terrible and is slowly rising above .500. The Redbird offense was hot stuff last night, too; home runs from Yadi Molina, Randal Grichuk, and Jedd Gyorko.
Dodgers 3, Diamondbacks 6 – Scouts: Jake Lamb knocked two out of the park, the second a grand slam that was more than enough offense to end a 4 game losing streak against the first place Dodgers.