Prof: BIG TRADES, PEOPLE. BIG OL’ TRADES! The Dodgers nabbed Yu Darvish, Boston snagged Addison Reed, and the Yankees got Sonny Gray. We’re locked and loaded. Today’s musical selections are people who sound like Elvis, but obviously aren’t. Why is that? Because we have a bunch of teams that want to be King, but are just imitations. Let’s go, fam.
Mariners 6, Rangers 4 – Scouts: Robinson Cano put the M’s ahead for good in the top of the 9th with a single that plated two runners. The Rangers committed four, count them four errors and two balks. Holy bejezus!
Royals 1, Orioles 2 – Prof: Hey! Dem Birds won a game! The Royals jumped on the board first with a run scored by Lorenzo Cain off an Eric Hosmer double. But in the fifth inning, the Orioles came back and tied it up. Ninth inning heroics belong to Craig Gentry, who drove the winning run in.
Blue Jays 6, White Sox 7 – Scouts: No Grand Slams for the Jays today, in fact, today the Blue Jays were on the other end of a walk-off. Matt Davidson singled in the winning run to cap off a 6-0 comeback victory that started in the 7th.
Braves 6, Phillies 7 – Prof: The Barves got swept by the Phillies. The Phillies. Swept. By a team that currently owns a 39-64 record. I’m going to gag. I will say that Atlanta tried hard to come back, after coughing up four runs in the third inning. Freddie went yard, because that’s what Frederick C. Freeman does.
Tigers 3, Yankees 7 – Scouts: Aaron Judge hit number 34 and Luis Severino struck out 8 over 5. The Tigers threatened by loading the bases in the 9th, but Aroldis Chapman came in and shut it down.
Giants 5, Athletics 8 – Scouts: This game was all tied up until Marcus Semien decided to jack his second career grand slam in the 6th.
Rays 7, Astros 14 – Scouts: It’s the Jake Marisnick hour! Now featuring two home-runs! 5 RBI’s! And we’ll even throw in a double as a bonus for signing up right now!
Indians 2, Red Sox 6 – Prof: Doug Fister broke his personal losing streak. The Magical Disabled List of Cleve is still chock full of impact players like Jason Kipnis and Lonnie Chisenhall. Mookie Betts was the offensive player of the game for Boston.
Nationals 1, Marlins 0 – Prof: We were really close to a no-hit bid by Gio Gonzalez last night, but it was broken up in the ninth inning by Dee Gordon. Sean Doolittle gets the save. Yesterday would have been Jose Fernandez’s birthday. Gio was a good friend of his. The Nationals’ starting pitcher, along with Bryce Harper, requested an audience with El Keed’s girlfriend and infant daughter.