Prof: Many of y’all know that when I’m not obsessing about baseball or being a frustrated author of a novel that might never actually be finished, I like to watch sci-fi and science-fantasy shows, most notably of which are Star Trek related. Which is why it pains me to see this noble franchise being made into a horror show by the folks over at CBS. Have any of you seen the trailer for “Star Trek: Discovery”? If you haven’t, let me save you valuable minutes of your life that can be spent deep cleaning the grout in a fraternity bathroom or dumpster diving outside of a seafood restaurant in Georgia in August. This is straight up insulting garbage. I don’t know a single Trek aficionado who is interested in this show. And it keeps getting worse the more we learn about it. Someone’s gonna die! Probably the Captain! It’s gonna be more “Game of Thrones” than “Star Trek”! Some lady is Spock’s adopted sister that we’ve never heard of before and will never hear about again! What kind of candy-coated, vomit splattered Mary Sue nightmare is this? Needless to say, I’m not watching. Let’s talk baseball instead.
Brewers 8, Nationals 0 – Prof: Actual elementary school student Zach Davies went strong! Seven and 2/3 innings of three hit ball, and seven strikeouts. Plus, young Zach came up big in the second inning with a fielder’s choice that brought in an RBI! All in all, a great night for the Milwaukee pitcher.
Mets 6, Padres 5 – Scouts: A single shy of the cycle, Yoenis Cespedes reminded fans just why they pay him the big bucks.
Pirates 3, Giants 11 – Scouts: MadBum finally got his first win of the season and all it took was 10 runs over the first 4 innings, which just happens to be double what he’s been given all season. Total. Damn the Giants are bad this year.
Angels 7, Indians 11 F/11 – Prof: The Magical Land of Cleve had this in the bag….until they didn’t. And then they did again. Let me explain. Cleveland went on an offensive tear in the second inning, when they scored 7 runs. Then they allowed Los Angeles of Anaheim of Orange County of California of North America to come back piece by piece until they were able to tie it up thanks to guys like my dude Simba, Mike Trout, and Kole Calhoun. To extra innings we go, where these two teams stayed knotted up until the bottom of the eleventh. Edwin Encarnacion hit a grand slam to put the game to bed.
Marlins 4, Rangers 10 – Prof: Two of my favorite young talents went head to head in this game, and both were awesome, but only one can be victorious. Joey Gallo hit two home runs, one of which was such a foregone conclusion that Giancarlo Stanton didn’t even attempt to run for it, because it went straight into the stands at the Ballpark at Arlington. On the Feesh side, all four of their runs were knocked in by one Christian Yelich. I have no cute nickname for him, but he’s pretty damn rad.
Braves 8, Diamondbacks 3 – Scouts: The Braves busted out big, with Kurt Suzuki hitting two bombs, and Matt Kemp and Johan Camargo following with one each.
White Sox 2, Cubs 7 – Prof: Weird day in Chicago. Ben Zobrist was the leadoff hitter and reached base four times in the good column. On the WTF side, John Lackey, who has regressed wildly this season, hit four batters total, three in one inning alone. Kris Bryant was ejected for arguing a called strike. Javier Baez got the not-coveted Platinum Sombrero. The word sombrero always reminds me of this scene from Star Trek. Because I am a nerd.
Reds 2, Yankees 4 – Prof: New Yankee acquisition Todd Frazier made quite the impression in his first at-bat at Yankee Stadium. His grounder was turned into a triple play, but not before Matt Holliday was able to score. This is a feat that hasn’t been accomplished since the Mariners did it in 2006. So, that’s interesting.
Astros 5, Phillies 0 – Prof: Houston is hobbling along, as George Springer and Alex Bregman both have some injuries to work through. But never fear. Orbit’s crew, led by the ever impressive Jose Altuve, just keep coming for that number one spot. Altuve has a 17 game hitting streak going, and the Astros are currently 67-33 on the season.
Red Sox 5, Mariners 6 F/13 – Scouts: Boston is riding a 4 game losing streak and is now just half a game up on the Yankees and one up on the Rays. After taking a 1 run lead in the 13th, the Sox literally threw this one away, allowing Ben Gamel to score on a wild pitch, and Jean Segura to drive in the winning run off Doug Fister. This was all done with two outs. Whoops.
Twins 2, Dodgers 6 – Scouts:Chris Taylor is now hitting .523 since the All-Star break. His 3 RBI’s were more than enough for Kenta Maeda and the LA bullpen.
Athletics 1, Blue Jays 4 – Scouts: Sonny Gray, who is one of the most talked about pitchers on the trade market struck out 9 over 6 innings, but gave up 4 runs all due to his own defensive error. Doesn’t seem fair when a pitcher commits an error, the runs are then considered unearned.
Royals 3, Tigers 1 – Prof: Danny Duffy went into the seventh and Kansas City was able to cruise to their seventh straight victory. They are now only 1.5 games behind The Magical Land of Cleve for control of the AL Central. Michael Fulmer tried so hard and got so far, but in the end, it didn’t even matter. (Yeah, I’m still referencing Linkin Park you guys. Sorry.)
Orioles 4, Rays 5 – Scouts: Wade Miley gave up a 5 spot in the second, including a homer to Tim Beckham. The O’s offense attempted a late comeback, but came up just short as Rays relievers escaped two jams in the final two innings.
Rockies 2, Cardinals 3 – Scouts: Two in the first, and one in the 9th. That’s how they draw them up. Or something like that. Jedd Gyorko’s sac fly walked this one off for the Cards.