He Said, She Said – Recaps for 7/2/17

Prof:  Hey folks. It’s just me for the next few days, Scout is on vacation. At least I think he’s going on vacation, I can’t remember. We have a full slate of games on tap today! Anyway, it’s me and you and a dog named Boo, so let’s get started.

Red Sox 15, Blue Jays 1 – MOOKIE BETTS HAVE YOURSELF A NIGHT.  Great googly mooly, that dude can ball. Young Mister Betts belted two homers and drove in eight – EIGHT! – in this absolutely butt-kicking. Poor Toronto didn’t have a chance against the Sawx. It’s kind of sad to see the Jays in such rough shape.


Indians 11, Tigers 8 – The Magical Land of Cleve did something that no other team has been able to do in over ten years. They ended Justin Verlander’s consecutive game streak of having at least one strikeout. It’s true! Verlander’s impressive streak began in 2007, and ended yesterday against suddenly red hot Cleveland. New All-Star Jose Ramirez homered from both sides of the plate. The Tigers tried their best to come back, scoring six runs in the ninth inning, but there’s a reason why the Land of Cleve is Magical.

Cubs 6, Reds 2 – Ian Happ, come on down! You’re the next contestant on “The Cub’s All Right!” Happ homered twice, delighting his teammates and his mom, who was in the stands. Jake Arrieta was back in form, at least for this game.

Dodgers 3, Padres 5 – Don’t go Chacin waterfalls…please stick to the rivers and the lake that Jhoulys too. OK. I’m sorry, you guys. That’s awful and I apologize. But I couldn’t resist! Jhoulys Chacin threw five scoreless and the Padres defeated Kenta Maeda once again. Seems like the Pads can only beat LA when Maeda is on the bump. Wonder why that is?

Nationals 7, Cardinals 2 – It’s a safe bet that if Max Scherzer is pitching, the Nats are going to have a good night. I mean, it’s not always the case, but Mad Max is currently 10-5 and has an ERA of 1.94. In other words, he doesn’t suck. Bryce Harper hit two home runs and had four RBI, which helps Scherzer out tremendously. Why, it’s almost like the Nats remembered that they should be one of the best teams in the NL or something.


Phillies 7, Mets 1 – Ooof. The Phillies put the smackdown on the Mets and trampled their newborn winning streak with a decisive victory.

Rays 1, Orioles 7 – Kevin Gausman pitched well (nine strikeouts!) and Manny Machado hit a three run homer to power the Birds over the Rays. My future imaginary boyfriend Mark Trumbo also hit a home run.

Twins 2, Royals 6 – The Twins, bless them, tried. Brian Dozier and Robbie Grossman tried. But they were no match for Aclides Escobar, who matched those two Twins’ RBI output by himself.

Mariners 5, Angels 3 – Robbie Cano belted a three run homer. Jean Segura drove in two. That’s all Seattle needed.

Marlins 10, Brewers 3 – Well, damn. Looks like we had ourselves a Pine Tar Party in Milwaukee! Jonathan Villar and Marcell Ozuna both had items taken out of play by the umpire for excessive pine tar usage. But that didn’t do anything to take Ozuna out of his zone. On the contrary, using Giancarlo Stanton’s bat, he promptly smacked a big ol’ tater into the left field bleachers. I’ve been to Miller Park many times, you guys, and that’s a nice long smackaroo.

Yankees 1, Astros 8 – Oh man. Rough times in Yankee Land. This is their 14th loss in 19 games, according to ESPN. And with a team this loaded with talent, that makes you wonder. However, the Astros are just as loaded for bear, as Carlos Correa had four hits and 3 ribbies, and Yuli Gurriel was just a triple short of the cycle.

Rockies 3, Diamondbacks 4 – The Gritty Snakes have a guy on their team named Ketel Marte. I don’t know how you pronounce that, but in my feeble brain I think it’s K-Tel, as in “K-Tel presents 30 Disco Hits by the Original Artists!”. And they are dancing in Arizona these days. The Rockies aren’t too bad, themselves. But we are looking at two really, really good teams who are fighting tooth and nail for superiority in the NL West along with the Dodgers. Man, I never thought I’d say this, but these Dbacks and Rox are the teams to watch in the National League.


Giants 5, Pirates 3 – Jeff Samardzija pitched very well and Brandon Belt’s eighth inning home run was instrumental in this San Francisco win.

Rangers 5, White Sox 6 – In a game that no one wanted to win, the Ranger bullpen decided they didn’t want to win the most. The White Sox committed four errors, and it could have ended in a nasty fashion for Chicago, but David Robertson was able to strike out Carlos Gomez with the bases loaded to end the game and secure the W for the White Sox (even that was a hot mess). Fun fact – unless you are a Texas fan, of course – the Rangers are tied for the most blown saves in the American League.

Braves 4, Athletics 3 F/12 – Our only extra innings game of the day, and this was a doozy. Atlanta was able to sweep the A’s, thanks in part to Kurt Suzuki.  Jim Johnson (boooo hisssssss) vultured his way to a win. Whatever.

12 thoughts on “He Said, She Said – Recaps for 7/2/17

  1. No apology needed for the Dodger/Padre recap. The Dodgers shouldn’t be losing to no scrubs, even though anyone with just a left eye can see that Justin Turner looks like a creep. Keep up the crazy sexy cool work prof!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. My vacation actually starts on Thursday, but thanks for giving me a bonus day off! Great work as always Prof! I hope everyone enjoys their 4th tomorrow! Please be careful, you want to end the night with as many digits as you began it with!


    1. There are, always have been and always will be ten digits, give or take a couple of undecrypted Mayan calendar glyphs. I can only imagine how many ashcans and cherry bombs it would take to erase, say, the “7” forever from the minds of men.


  3. After I work today, I’m going over to see the fellow I’ve been seeing. It’s perfect because we don’t have to worry about work in the morning so I can stay late! More than likely, we’ll tell Commander Riker sex jokes. Because nerds.


  4. Much was made during the game last night of Bryce Harper’s new approach at the plate; you can hear Aaron Boone talking a little bit about it in the clip above, but basically he’s swinging without striding now. Staying on balance has always been his biggest weakness, so if he’s better at staying balanced with no loss of power, (he had a double to go with his two HRs last night), he could be scary.

    Of course, if the Nats don’t get a closer, it may not matter what Harper, Murphy, Zimmerman, Rendon, and the rest of the offense, as well as the starting pitching does.


  5. I hate double headers. Requiring teams to play two games in a day distorts the game.

    Saturday both the Twins and the Royals called up a starter for his major league debut, not because the young man’s sterling performance in the minors had earned him a chance to fight for a spot in the bigs, but because both teams needed an extra arm to get them through the double header. Even so both bull pens had to work overtime and I imagine the hangover from that will effect today’s games.

    Baseball used to have double headers back before baseball became so athletically competitive that pitchers became like dragsters which go fast but not far, because MLB thought two games for the price of one was a nice fan friendly marketing device. Today baseball has double headers because baseball is “meant to be played outside”, ergo rainouts and make ups. Good thing baseball isn’t “meant to be played only in the afternoon” because adequate out door lighting didn’t arrive until around the 1930’s like it wasn’t practical to build an indoor stadium until the 1960’s.

    Screw Target field, I want the damn dome back, and go back to naming stadiums after dead politicians. All other stadiums get 10 years to put a damn roof on. Baseball is meant to be played at the highest athletic level possible.


      1. It would be alright if the weather bureau would stop allowing strong randomized air movements and unwanted precipitation. Nature sucks.


  6. Prof has understated Marcell the Damned’s 455 foot gravity’s rainbow into the back of the left field bleachers yesterday. The Hebrew Hammer didn’t even bother to go back on it, just turned his circumsized nose a bit to see where it would land. Also, let’s not forget that Marcell swatted a three run bomb in the second inning too. I think he was celebrating his all-star berth.

    A couple of days to go for the reserved finalist’s vote. Wild Bour is up for first base. I usually don’t bother to vote for the ASG – all these multiple votes are like a Donald Trump Commissioner’s wet dream – but for the Bour, I made an exception. I know how much Prof loves his tushy.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Big Buckin Chicken or Bust, yo.

      Wanna know something funny? I like to look at these tall, thick ol’ boys on tv but the guys I go out with? Thin as a rail and usually under 6 foot. Funny how that works.


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