Scouts: Joe West celebrated his 5,000th game last night, proof that absolutely anyone can have a job if they just keep showing up, and that ability and performance matters not.  Isn’t America grand?

Indians 5, Orioles 6 – Prof: Well, glory be. The Orioles won a game! It was all thanks to the incredible Manny Machado. Machado went 4-4, hit two home runs and drove in four RBI. The Magical Bullpen of Cleve let them down.

Cardinals 8, Phillies 1 F/11 – Prof:  Wow, the Phillies sure did tank, allowing the Redbirds to hang seven on them in the eleventh inning! The bullpen fell apart, giving up hits left and right. Stephen Piscotty doubled, sending in two, then Yadi Molina hit a homer to bring Piscotty and himself home. Then, Tommy Pham hit a home run to bring another run in, and finally Matt Carpenter (who had started the inning being driven home by Piscotty) doubled to push the dagger in for the kill. God, I thought the Braves were sad.

Pirates 7, Brewers 3 – Scouts: Zach Davies gave up 6 in the first including Jose Osuna’s 3 run shot and that was all he wrote.

Blue Jays 1, Rangers 6 – Prof:  Adrian Beltre is inching closer and closer to 3000 hits!

Now the Rangers are back at .500 for the season. Home runs a plenty for Texas, with Carlos Gomez and Nomar Mazara mashing taters alongside Beltre.

Padres 0, Cubs 4 – Scouts: Rizzo lead off with a home run, the third time he’s done that in seven games.  It ended up being all the Cubbies needed as Mike Montgomery and the pen shut down the Padres on 5 hits.

White Sox 7, Twins 9 – Scouts: Kennys Vargas jacked one 483 feet to plate 3.  Miguel Sano also poped a 2 run shot and the Twins blew past the Sad Sox.

Red Sox 8, Royals 3 – Scouts: Big Jerk Chris Sale Continues Strike Out Dominance.  Also is a jerk.  Sale had 10 k’s over 8.1 innings.

Diamondbacks 3, Rockies 4 – Prof:  Weirdness in the second inning, when Zack Greinke got wonky and let loose a wild pitch, causing Ian Desmond to reach third base. Then Jeff Mathis had an error, and Desmond was able to make it home for the first score of the night. The Unholy Three of Arenado, Blackmon, and LeMahieu  were at it again, putting on a show in the eighth.

Mets 0, Dodgers 12 – Scouts: #lolMets.  Corey Seager was a grand slam away from a homer cycle.

Astros 8, Athletics 4 – Scouts: Springer lead it off with a homer, the Astros picked up 4 more in the first and never looked back.  Sonny Gray settled in after the first, but the damage was done.

Tigers 4, Mariners 5 – Scouts: Kyle Seager walked it off with a double in the 10th.  Detroit came from behind to tie it in the 8th, but couldn’t hold off the M’s.

Angels 8, Yankees 3 – Prof:  Aaron Judge and Gary Sanchez both homered, but it amounted to nothing against the suddenly .500 Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, California, United States, Milky Way Galaxy. Cameron Maybin and Kole Calhoun did some good deeds for the Halos.

Nationals 12, Marlins 3 – Prof:  All evening, I had a burning sensation on my neck. At first, I thought it was the Icy Hot that I’ve been putting on my sore muscles, but then I saw that Fredi Gonzalez, late of my beloved Atlanta Braves, did a boneheaded thing (he tried to hold up Marcell Ozuna at third. Ozuna ignored it and easily went home for a Feesh score). It was my Fredi Alarm. No matter, the Nats made easy work of the Feesh. Royce Harpler extends his hitting streak, and Daniel Murphy hit yet another home run.

Reds 5, Rays 6 – Prof:  Well, it started well for Cincinnati, and Joey Votto gave it his best in the ninth inning, but everything was Flying Fish. Did you guys know that LoMo is among the league leaders for home runs this season? He has 21 for the year thus far, and 105 for his career! What’s gotten into him? Wonders never cease.

Giants 6, Braves 3 – Prof:  I’d like to address the rumor flying around Twitter. Yes, there are people saying that Atlanta might move Freddie Freeman to third base so that they can keep Matt Adams. Do I think it will happen? I hope not. But this is the same organization who moved Chipper Jones into the outfield for a few years in order to play a vastly inferior guy at third, so anything is possible. There was a game last night, as well. Hat tip to the Giants, who were able to convert on some truly stupid play by the Barves. Fielder’s choiceses and throwing errors and what not. Ugh.