So I’ve been sitting here for almost an hour staring at this blank space trying to come up with something to talk about in the opener and I’m just having the worst case of writers block. I can’t think of anything I want to discuss. We could talk about the terrible shooting that happened in Virginia yesterday, but typically we turn to sports to escape the harshness of life. We could talk about how fantastic Wonder Woman was, but we already did that. There isn’t much going on in the world of Television as everyone is on summer break. A lot of you are enjoying vacations and hopefully warm but not too warm weather. We are approaching the All-Star break, but so far there really isn’t too much to talk about in that regard. We could talk about Religion and Politics, hahahaha, just kidding. So why don’t you all come up with a topic of the day and give me a break today. Let’s see what you can come up with!
Red Sox 7, Phillies 3 – Prof: Mookie Betts was a triple away from the cycle, so what does he do? …hit another home run. Betts had two homers and powered the Reddest of Foot Coverings to a win over Jeremy Hellickson and his Phillies. In “still the best nickname in baseball history” news, Ruin Tomorrow…er…..Ruben Amaro Jr. is still a coach for the Red Sox and the Phillie Phanatic gave him a hearty welcome to Citizens Bank Park. And from what I saw, you probably could have heard crickets there. Might not be the friendly place for ol’ R.A.J.
Rockies 5, Pirates 1 – Prof: The Rockies continue to be a marvel, playing well on the road and impressing folks left and right with surprisingly heads-up play and pretty decent rookie pitching. The usual suspects for Colorado had a kind of off night, so it was left up to Ian Desmond and Raimel Tapia.
Dodgers 6, Indians 4 – Scouts: Andrew Miller has now blown two consecutive ball games. I’m pretty sure there are laws against that or something. This time it was Enrique Hernandez hitting the long shot. The Dodgers are on a 6 game winning streak.
Brewers 7, Cardinals 6 – Scouts: Eric Thames hit number 17 and wound up with 17 RBI. Seriously, what the hell is this guy on?
Yankees 5, Angels 7 – Scouts: The Angels ran into a red hot Yankees team and without the best player in the league and took the series. Hottest of takes. The Angels should trade Mike Trout. Clearly he is a clubhouse cancer!
Athletics 6, Marlins 11 – Prof: I think Gator must’ve somehow lured the Strange Attractor away from the park last night, as the Feesh had their good stuff going for them. Then again, they were playing against the A’s, who are terrible this year. Bats were bopped and hits kept coming, thanks to Marcell Ozuna, Christian Yelich, Dee Gordon, and merry Tyler Moore.
Reds 2, Padres 4 – Prof: Ooof. The Reds’ might have a halfway decent offense, but friends, no matter how hot your bat might be and no matter how many Joey Vottos you might have lounging about the place, if your pitching is bad you ain’t winning nothing. Cincinnati’s starter in yesterday’s game, Amir Garrett, has an ERA for 7.40. That’s rough to overcome no matter what.
Royals 7, Giants 2 – Scouts: Mike Moustakas, Jorge Bonifacio, and Lorenzo Cain all hit ding dongs to complete the two game sweep of the Giants. Johnhy Cueto gave up 5 runs on 10 hits over 5.2 innings.
Braves 13, Nationals 2 – Prof: SomeGuy, I’m really sorry about your team losing… BHAHAHAH God I’m going to hell for lying. I’m pumped! My Braves played well! As I might have mentioned yesterday, the fellow I’ve been seeing went to this game with his co-workers. I believe I told you all that this guy knows nothing about baseball. I got this text:
As it happens, yes, my gentleman caller DID witness a home run, hit by the Nationals’ Brian Goodwin. However, the Braves came back strong. I told him he was the Braves’ good luck charm. 🙂 Except for Matt Kemp tweaking his hammy and having to leave the game, it was a good day for Atlanta.
Orioles 10, White Sox 6 – Scouts: If you keep swinging at the heals long enough eventually you are bound to eventually come up with a positive result. Welington Castillo plays the hero this time, picking up a grand slam in the 5th ending Baltimore’s losing streak. Matt Davidson went deep for the third consecutive game. Unfortunately for Baltimore, Dylan Bundy can’t pitch every night as he’s the sole bright spot in a suddenly terrible rotation.
Mariners 6, Twins 4 – Scouts: The Mariners beat the Twins 3 homers to 2. Ervin Santana had a uncharacteristically bad day. Hey, we all have bad days once in a while.
Rangers 2, Astros 13 – Scouts: Holy crap, Texas got ROCKED! Houston had a big 6th inning picking up 9 flipping runs in the 6th hitting! All four Texas pitchers gave up multiple runs. These are the games you just want to go home and cry in the shower afterword. Thankfully there’s always tomorrow. Derek Fisher hits a home run for his first big league hit. Welcome to the show rook!
Rays 6, Blue Jays 7 – Prof: Russell Martin broke the tie and won the game for Toronto with a home run in the bottom of the eighth inning.
Diamondbacks 2, Tigers 1 – Scouts: Taijuan Walker out gunned Jordan Zimmermann at the O.K. Corral. Zimmermann gave up a deuce in the first and it was all Walker needed. Zimmermann rebounded nicely retiring 20 of the final 21 batters he faced, but the damage was done.
Cubs 4, Mets 9 – Prof: The Grandy Man most certainly can, and did, hitting his 300th career home run and pulling the Metropolitans ahead of the small baby bears. The Mets did a bang up job despite having both Yoenis Cespedes and Michael Conforto on the bench, and losing Neil Walker as well.