He Said, She Said – Recaps for 6/6/17

Prof:  I’ve been recouping from a kidney stone for the last couple of days. I’ve had them before, but they never get easier. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.

Scouts: Holy she-it that was an exciting night of baseball!  One of the best we’ve had in a while.  There was a little something for everyone.  We had Scooter hitting more dingers last night than he had all year TOTAL!  He bumped his RBI Total from 20 to 30.  He proved me the value of the MLB.tv package as I recieved a text before his last HR that he was coming up to the plate.  “Nah, he’ll likely just pop up or strike out” I figured, but what the hell.  Press a few buttons and I’m watching Scooter swinging through a pitch looking like he REALLY wanted that 4th HR.  Two pitches later I’m watching a line drive that just isn’t falling.  Then I get a message that Max Scherzer is having himself quite a night.  Next up is Moustaka’s and Trumbo walking it off.  The Yanks, Sox came down to the wire, and the Cubs, Diamondbacks, Rockies, and Mariners all lit up the scoreboard.  I can’t wait to see what happens tonight!  I only wish the Strasburg/Kershaw matchup started about an hour or two later so I could get home from work in time to watch.

Cardinals 1, Reds 13Prof:  SCOOTER GENNETT!!!!  I have never been more proud of my small son until tonight. I mean, I’m literally crying just thinking about it. My little Scoots just tied the major league record for most home runs by a single game by the same player with four. Not only that, he had 10 RBI, which ties the Reds’ club record. Not bad for a little dude who was claimed off waivers. So proud, you have no idea. It couldn’t happen to a nicer guy. Love ya, Scoots.


Red Sox 5, Yankees 4Prof:  Ooof, Tanaka is looking rough. The Yankee pitcher has lost five straight and looked really awful last night as well. Not that Drew Pomeranz was any better. The difference was that the Red Sox got an insurance shot from Andrew Benintendi and brought out one of the most dominant closers of a generation, Craig Kimbrel, to put the hammer down.

Pirates 5, Orioles 6 F/10Scouts: Oh boy, did I mess up.  I went out to walk the dog during the top of the ninth, with the O’s down just 1.  I came back to see they had given up yet another run, now down two and frustrated at my team’s constant ineptitude recently, I shut the game off.  Of course 30 seconds later I receive a text from my mother and what do you know, Jonathan Schoop had tied the game with a 2 run homer, his second homer of the night.  I had to rush to get my PC back up and running so I could watch the Mark Trumbo single in Adam Jones in the 10th to complete the come-from-behind walk-off victory.


White Sox 4, Rays 2Prof: Homer-a-palooza in The Trop as the White Sox defeated Chris Archer and company in late innings. Avisail Garcia started it off, smacking a homer in the seventh, Jose Abreu hit an RBI single, and Todd Frazier capped it off in the ninth with a home run of his own.

Mets 8, Rangers 10Scouts: Jacob deGrom got LIT up giving up 10 hits and 8 runs in just 4 innings.  Damn.  The Mets tried to come back with 4 in the final two frames, but came up short as the Mets often do.


Marlins 2, Cubs 10Prof:  Newly engaged Anthony Rizzo smashed a home run, drove in four, and helped lead Chicago to a soul crushing win against the Feesh. Six runs in the seventh. Yikes! In the comment section yesterday, OG told us that the last time Miami lost the Big Buckin’ Chicken they crashed and burned something fierce. Get well soon, J-Bour.

Astros 7, Royals 9Prof:  Orbit was THIS close to running around in his little mascot tighty whitey again, but alas. Mike Moustakas Moustakas Moustakas hit a walk off homer and Kansas City broke the Astros’ eleven game streak.


Indians 3, Rockies 11Prof:  Oh, man. Rough night for the guys from the Magical Land of Cleve. Lonnie Chisenhall comes off the DL and hit a home run, but it doesnt mean much when every Rockie seemed to get hot at the plate. Homers from Gonzalez, Reynolds, Zimmer, Reynolds (again), not to mention an RBI single from DJ LeMahieu put Colorado over the top.

Padres 2, Diamondbacks 10Scouts: Dinelson Lamet gave up 9 runs in just 3 innings as the Backs returned home from a 11 game road trip.  You know, I’d like to try to like Arizona, but they have the absolute WORST team name in all of professional sports.  There’s D’backs is the only way to shorten a long name and it’s too close to D-Bags for comfort.


Blue Jays 1, Athletics 4Scouts: These two teams are sitting at 31 and 32 losses respectfully and all I can think of is how silly the rule is that every team must send one player to the all-star game.

Twins 3, Mariners 12Scouts: Some days it’s just not your night.  Hector Santiago gave up 5 runs in 2.2 innings, who was relieved by Randy Rosario who gave up 5 runs in .1 innings, who was then relieved by Alex Wimmers who gave up 2 runs in 1.2 innings.  Some times the most difficult part about “There’s always tomorrow” in baseball is actually making it to tomorrow.

Nationals 2, Dodgers 1Scouts: Max Scherzer did work yesterday striking out 14 over 7 innings.  Brandon McCarthy was no slouch either allowing just 2 runs over 3 hits in the same 7 innings.  Koda Glover and Yasiel Puig were in a big hurry post game to discuss dinner plans.  I hear Magic Castle was heavily debated.


Angels 5, Tigers 3Prof:  CJ Cron and Kole Calhoun both smashed some taters against Historio’s Tigers, but in the end it came down to Bud Norris to save the day.

Phillies 3, Braves 1Prof:  When you think that the Braves can’t Barve anymore than they already do, they go and surprise ya. The Phillies are terrible, and yet they currently have a 5-0 record against Atlanta. Because Atlanta is bad. Bad bad bad. Bad bad BAD bad. Bartolo Colon went on the 10-day DL because he has “can’tpitchalick-itis” and when they have a good performance from a pitcher – who is usually Mike Foltynewicz these days – they can’t even get behind him. Not that it mattered today. The only thing I could say about the Braves last night was that the young kid they called up for relief, Jason Hursh, pitched a scoreless ninth. That’s about it.


Giants 2, Brewers 5Prof:  What’s up Chase Anderson!?!? The Brewers pitcher went 7 2/3 shutout innings, and drove in a run while padding his record which is now 5-1. Carlos Torres tried to mess things up for him, but Corey Knebel came out and saved the day (literally).

5 thoughts on “He Said, She Said – Recaps for 6/6/17

  1. I’m sure Mike Schmidt or Jerry Remy would write off the Glover/Puig contretemps as nothing more than language issues, as it looked to me like Mr. Glover was just helping Mr. Puig find his way back to the dugout, but either Mr. Puig couldn’t understand him or couldn’t hear him. You be the judge:

    Glover’s gonna have to rein that in just a little bit, or at least keep his emotional outbursts directionally neutral until he’s achieved veteran status and can do with impunity things like pantomime shooting an arrow after a save. We’ll just call this a learning experience.

    Lost in the utter shit show that is the rest of the National League East is the fact that the Nats have come up absolutely huge this year on two potentially challenging road trips, going 9-1 during April’s Ten Game Road Trip From Heck, and sitting at 7-1 so far on their nine game swing through California, with today’s Strasburg/Kershaw matinee the only one remaining on this jaunt. They’re also 7-2 so far against the top three teams in the NL West (12-3 overall vs. the West), so their record isn’t totally due to feasting on the carrion that used to be the Braves, Mets, Phils, and Marlins. Still four months to go, and lots that can go wrong, but I think this team might be pretty good.


  2. Sorry for the consequences of unsolicited mineralization, Prof. Even so, “I’ve got a kidney stone dear” is more convincing than “I’ve got a headache tonight.” And I’ve heard them all at one time or another. Guys – except maybe for Italians, Latinos and Australians – usually take it with a grain of salt – it’s kinda like going to a prayer meeting and pretending to see the Blessed Mother the group leader claims to be talking to, you know?

    Anyway, after their little spasm of competence during their recently concluded homestand at Macondo Banana Massacre Field, where dreams really can come true even if you do occasionally piss your sheets just before awakening from them at four in the morning, the Cubbies welcomed the Feesh back to reality (which though I grant you can be an ugly place at times, where else can you find a great steak?). The boolpen, especially, demonstrated that it recognized the stench of the actual by barfing up six runs. Just like old times.

    Meanwhile, Beep Beep was in town a few days ago to lunch with Scrooge McLoria about his reorganized attempt to buy the team minus our former unlamented President’s slack-jawed, beady-eyed, supposedly smarter younger brother. No one knows what was said. For that matter, no one knows who picked up the check. I can just imagine the maitre’d putting the little leathern folder down on the table while each one waited for the silence and inactivity to crush the other one.

    And a final note: after several days of plop culture sonic pap, Fan-Interferonists will be pleased to know that Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize lecture delivered a couple of days ago in Los Angeles where the weather is usually a lot better than it is in Stockholm even if each breath treats you to more carcinogens than a can of Diet Coke, has gone viral. The lecture was predictably glorious. Here it is. Set aside a half hour for it; lock your noisy little brats in the laundry hamper if you have to:


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