Terry Collins, Mutts manager also known as “Mr. Personality,” announced today that he has suspended the Dark Knight for three days without pay for a “rules violation” the nature of which the team will keep “in house” because “that’s how it’s supposed to be.”
Although Collins refused to discuss it, it is believed that Harvey will be suspended between the floor and ceiling of the Mutts clubhouse using a secret anti-gravity device which, if it works, will be featured at Walt Disney World’s Epcot area to compensate for the park”s recent prohibition of medical marijuana.
Meanwhile, the nervous anticipation of a great Jose Urena – Matt Harvey matchup scheduled for today proves to have been a total waste of kinesthesia. The Mutts are bringing up some mound fodder from the minors to take the place of their castigated former star.
So it goes.