Good morning everyone! After a few crazy days at work, I finally get to rejoin the world! It’s crazy getting so wrapped up in work that you wind up completely disconnected from the world. I feel like I’ve been gone for a month. I have no idea what’s going on anymore! Are the Reds still good? What about the Rockies? Did the Mets completely fall off the face of the earth? Will the Red Sox ever stop attempting to assault Manny Machado? Is the death clock ticking on ESPN? What’s going on! Fill me in dear readers! Hit those comment buttons already damnit!
Phillies 3, Cubs 8 – Prof: This is a crazy world. Case in point:
Jon Lester 
– 1-1, 3.67 ERA. Jeremy Hellickson (L) – 4-1, 3.18 ERA.
If you just said “Lester vs Hellickson, who ya got?” you’d say Lester hands down. He has history. But this year, Hellickson has the better record. Although that didn’t matter today, as Lester and his Cubs cohorts smashed up the Phillies.
Rangers 7, Astros 8 – Scouts: This was a wild one with the Jetson’s dogs taking the lead with a grand slam in the 8th. It was Marwin Gonzalez’s second homer of the day. The worst loss for the Rangers on the night was starter Cole Hamels being a late scratch due to a oblique injury.
Mets 7, Braves 9 – Prof: What a world we live in, that supposed ace Matt Harvey gets shut down by old knuckleballer RA Dickey twice in a week. RA didn’t quite have the control over his signature pitch, but he didn’t really need it, either. Ender Inciarte did Ender Inciarte things and Freddie Freeman hit a nice home run to start the night off right.
A’s 1, Twins 9 – Prof: Happy, your boys did it again! Are you eating your ice cream?!?!? Six homers, including two by Brian Dozier, got the job done for Minnesota.
Brewers 1, Cardinals 2 – Scouts: Carlos Martinez was in control, throwing 7.1 innings while giving up just 1 run on 4 hits.
Angels 6, Mariners 4 – Scouts: Albert Pujlos decided he was tired of all the baseball nonsense and really wanted to go home. So he doubled in Mike Trout, stole third base, and then scored on an Andrelton Simmons ground out.
Giants 13, Dodgers 5 – Scouts: The Dodgers answered a 4 run Giants second inning, by scoring 6 of their own in the bottom of the frame. They went on to pick up 7 more as they blew away their neighbors to the north. Matt Moore gave up 9 runs over 3.1 innings. Egads!
Rockies 2, Padres 6 – Scouts: A 5-run 6th inning did in the Rockies on this night. Trevor Story is now batting .170/.271/.675. Sadface.
Blue Jays 5, Yankees 11 – Prof: Aaron Judge leapfrogged over Eric Thames for the Grand Masher last night, hitting his 12th homer of the season. Poor Mat Latos – the Freshmaker – was no match for the Yankee bats.
Diamondbacks 6, Nationals 3 – Prof: The Gritty Snakes – lead by the underrated Jake Lamb – beat up on Tanner Roark and Washington. Too early to tell, but maybe the D’backs have a good opportunity to do something in the NL West this year.
Orioles 2, Red Sox 5 – Prof: [takes off professional editorial cap] Chris Sale is an asshole. I know that you aren’t supposed to do this, but if someone rushed the mound and punched him in the mouth, I don’t think I’d be mad. [puts editorial cap back on] So Chris Sale threw really super inside at Manny Machado, just moments after Adam Jones got a rousing standing ovation from the Fenway Faithful at his first at-bat a day after being called nasty racial slurs. I just had to put in this quote from Machado, who is handling this probably the same way I would, to be honest:
“I lost my respect for that organization, Boston and how they’re handling that whole situation,” he said. “If they’re going to hit me, hit me. Go ahead. Get it over with. Don’t keep lingering it around and doing that. I’ve lost mad respect for that team and that organization.”
Indians 2, Tigers 5 – Scouts: V-Lander out dueled Klubes. Miggy go boom. Footage at 11.
Pirates 12, Reds 3 – Scouts: Starting pitcher Taylor Glasnow had an interesting game. After giving up 3 runs in the 1st, he shut down the Reds for the next 5 innings while picking up 3 RBI’s all by himself. As for the Reds, well I just can’t figure them out. Are they good? Are they bad? Are they middle of the road? Who knows.
White Sox 6, Royals 0 – Prof: Jose Quintana blanked Kansas City, only giving up four hits over eight innings. Seriously, the Royals are in deep trouble. Except maybe not tomorrow, because Chicago is going to start Big Mike Pelfrey.
Rays 3, Marlins 1 – Prof: The Battle of the Floridian Sea Creatures rages on. It was promenade city in Macondo Banana Massacre Field ™ (Copyright Old Gator), as Edinson Volquez gave up eight walks to Tampa. LoMo hit a home run to seal the deal.
Fan Interference 
Creedence Clearwater? You’re dipping back into my college days. Thanks.
And MLB needs a tenth man award like the NBA has for sixth man. I nominate Marwin Gonzalez, and retroactively for the last three years.
I liked his first homer. Count was 3-1 and the pitcher threw one about shin-high. NO NO NO Marwin, Cowboy Joe didn’t hear “May I” so it’s strike two. So Marwin just hits a homer to get on.
Gotta love the guy.
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The Cownosed Rays were only 2 hits away from the coveted triple-double last night. 8 hits, 11 walks, 15 strikeouts. Sheesh!
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Last night’s slog at Nats Park was played at a pace best suited for hot, humid nights, with the game clocking in at something like three hours and 45 minutes, but it did include my first look at the Dbacks dark grey unis with the teal? powder blue? trim, so I had that going for me, which is nice.
Roark pitched until his arm fell off, going six innings at a cost of 125(!) pitches, as the Snakes kept fouling off pitch after pitch after pitch. He got touched for four runs, including a couple of home runs in the fourth, but finished strong with 8Ks, including the last two guys he faced. He was working on extra rest, and the bullpen was a man down, sort of, so Dusty figured why not…
Believe it or not, Roark was the more efficient of the two starters, as Tijuan Walker only went 4 2/3, with 117 pitches, so it was that kind of night.
The Nats seem to be in a bit of a funk right now, losing three of four even with that 23-spot they laid on the Mets on Sunday; I guess it’s inevitable that if your whole team gets hot at the same time, they’re all going to cool down at the same time, too, and Dusty says they don’t play well after an off day, either.
About the bullpen, the Nats looked at Joe Ross, the guy who started but didn’t stick around long enough to get the win in games where the Nats scored 15 and 23 runs and said, “We don’t know who you are, but you’re not Joe Ross right now, so get thee to Syracuse post-haste.” Jacob Turner will slot in at the 5th starter spot, but the reason for the bullpen being short-handed right now is that the Nats called up A.J. Cole to replace Ross, and Cole must finish serving his suspension for this incident from last year:
(That was in retaliation for Kang decoying Bryce Harper into a real late slide that resulted in what proved to be a minor hand injury.)
Cole’s eligible to pitch again on Friday.
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For those of you watching at home, MVP Miggy (2x Triple Crown holder & future Hall of Famer) has 25 more HR’s to crack the Top 30 in MLB history. Doing it by my birthday would be nice.
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Hit some for Historio!
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Yes I had my ice cream last night because I figured win # 13 might be hard to come by.
Sano is continuing his Killebrew impression while Santana is continuing his Cy Young impression, but the good news from around here is that Buxton is no longer busten. Since he had a good September last year and good spring training this year there was optimism that his light had finally turned on. Then he started 1 for 20 with I think 15 strikeouts. He was lunging at out of the zone sliders and freezing on down the middle fastballs. Since he’s already had several extended looks at the MLB level, there was a growing fear that a MLB career was not to be for him, or even worse that it wouldn’t start for another year or two and would be with a team other than the Twins. Lately he’s been getting on base much more often, his swing looks a lot better, and last night he went yard.
Don’t tell Gator I said this, but me like see man run fast catch ball better see ball go far.
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