Prof: Hey, peeps. I’m alive! I was just so physically and mentally exhausted toward the end last week. It was terrible. I slept a lot this weekend, too, when I wasn’t watching the new reboot of Mystery Science Theater 3000 on Netflix! I watched EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. As a hardcore, lifelong MSTie, I have to say that I am thrilled beyond measure at this reboot. It is still MST3k. Jonah is awesome. TV’s Son of TV’s Frank – Max – is so gleefully, innocently evil. And yes, that is actually a thing. The new Servo and Crow are just different enough, but they are still Servo and Crow. Crow being Crow, especially, is very important to me, because Crow T. Robot is quite possibly my favorite character in all of fiction. More than Spock, Neville Longbottom, Illya Kuryakin, or Murdock from The A-Team. This new Crow is like a wonderfully sarcastic hybrid of Trace Beaulieu and Bill Corbett, who each played him in the previous versions of MST3k. Plus, it introduced me to an absolutely godawful movie called “Starcrash” starring Marjoe Gordner (!!!), David Hasselhoff (!!!), and…. CHRISTOPHER PLUMMER???? Oh no, Captain Von Trapp, why? Anyway, let’s get on with the scores!
Brewers 4, Reds 2 – Prof: Everything was coming up Brew Crew in this game against division rivals Cincinnati. Ryan Braun hit a two run homer and newcomer Eric Thames hit a home run of his own to power Milwaukee to their fifth win in the last six games. For the Reds, they too suffer the wrath of not playing Scooter Gennett at second base – they played old Cubs reject Arismendy Alcantara instead, who had two errors on the day. (Side note – I always loved thinking about how Harry Caray would have said Arismendy Alcantara.)
Tigers 4, Indians 1 – Scouts: Detroit’s pitching for the win here! Way to go boys! Matthew Boyd gave up just 1 run on 7 hits and the bullpen gave up just 1 hit in three innings of work.
Rays 5, Red Sox 7 – Scouts: 17 Hits was too much for Tampa who tried multiple times to rally but the Red Sox hitting was just too much for them. Drew Pomeranz lasted just 4.1 innings giving up 5 runs, but the Sox bullpen came in and shut down the Rays.
Padres 2, Braves 9 – Prof: Bartolo Colon pitched a very solid seven innings against one of the saddest teams in baseball. San Diego was first on the board, with a solo homer in the second inning. But Bart laughs at solo homers, and so did Ender Inciarte and Brandon Phillips. In the fifth inning, the Atlanta bats woke up, and boy did they ever. The aforementioned Phillips drove in three runs with three hits, and Inciarte hit his fourth home run of the year in the seventh inning.
Did you know that the Braves are undefeated at White Flight Park? It’s true! Of course, they just had their home opener this weekend and they were playing against the Padres, so that might be why. Next up, the Nationals. I don’t think that they’ll be undefeated much longer. Speaking of the Nats…
Phillies 4, Nationals 6 – Prof: Bryce Harper came up big. Both of his hits were home runs, including a game ending homer in the ninth inning. Also, a rogue Easter Bunny took out Teddy Roosevelt during the mascot race.
Pirates 6, Cubs 1 – Scouts: This game was a pitchers duel until the Pirates busted it wide open with 3 in the 8th and 3 more in the 9th. Both the Pirates and Cubs are now 6-6. At the moment, the Cubs are last in the NL in homers and are batting just .240 as a team.
White Sox 3, Twins 1 F/10 – Scouts: You can’t win them all Minnesota! Avisall Garcia went 4-5 with the go-ahead 2 run jack in the 10th.
Rangers 7, Mariners 8 – Prof: It was a tale of two Dysons in this game. The Mariners’ Dyson – Jarrod – started off the ninth inning scoring rally for the Mariners, and the Rangers’ Dyson – Sam – coughed up yet another painful loss for this Texas team.
Orioles 11, Blue Jays 4 – Scouts: Dylan Bundy continues to deal giving up just 5 hits and 0 runs in 6 innings. The O’s hit 4 bombs including a pair by rookie Trey Mancini. This is Trey’s second 2 homer game in this very young season. Toronto just can’t seem to catch a break and are now 2-10 after losing J.A. Happ in the 5th to an blister on his finger that ruptured.
Angels 0, Royals 1 – Scouts: Somebody had to score and after 9 long innings and 8 total hits by the two teams combined the Royals picked up a single to walk it off.
Cardinals 3, Yankees 9 – Prof: Heyyyyyyy Greg Bird. The newest Yankee first baseman was perfect at the plate, and hit a very pretty home run off the slumping Adam Wainwright. Bird has been recovering from shoulder surgery and had a very promising spring training, but in his first few games this season had been a little off of his game. However, Joe Girardi believes in his young budding star and kept in him in the lineup. Which isn’t happening elsewhere in New York…
Mets 2, Marlins 4 – Prof: Seriously, Terry Collins. Why do you hate Michael Conforto? I’m not the only person who feels that this is wrong. Witness one Mr. KLaw:
I mean, what the hell, Mets. What does Conforto have to do to get a starting gig, turn loaves and fish into Shake Shack? Anyway, Matt Harvey pitched well in six innings, and the loss goes to Addison Reed who allowed a waist-high meatball to Fish rookie JT Riddle.
Rockies 4, Giants 3 – Scouts: Jeff Samardzija is now 0-3 with a 6.16 ERA as the Giants fall to 5-9. I’m not sure if this is supposed to be a good or bad year for the Giants, but so far they are continuing their awful steak stated around the back half of last year.
D’backs 3, Dodgers 1 – Scouts: Not much O in L.A. The Dodgers lost Rich Hill after after 3 as he re-aggravated his blister injury. Hill had been activated just prior to the game.
Astros, A’s – PPD