Prof:  Today was Opening Day for pretty much everyone, my team included. I did wear my Braves jersey to work today, and got a lot of questions from my coworkers. “Why in the world are you wearing a Greg Maddux jersey?” Oh, innocent people. They don’t know me very well yet. But y’all do, so let’s get started.

Scouts: One of the annual traditions I just don’t get is the day off following Opening Day.  We all know how the season is more of a marathon than a sprint, and I guarantee you if you polled every player they would MUCH prefer to have the day off later in the season.  I mean, what are the players tired after playing one full game?  You have all this momentum, all this press, people are excited to get back into baseball and you take the day off.  What the hell is wrong with you?  If I had my way, Opening Day would be on Sunday.  Games would be staggered all day, starting at 11am EST.  You’d get Fox, TBS, and ESPEN all involved to play non-stop wall-to-wall baseball.  Sure if you absolutely insist on a Saturday night game, fine, you get one game.  But make Sunday ALL ABOUT Baseball.  Then, I’d come right back at it on Monday.  Everybody plays.  Make the beginning of the season the National Holiday it truly deserves to be.  Get sponsorship.  Have all day baseball parties.  Really do this right.  Come on MLB, it shouldn’t be this difficult.

Braves 0, Mets 6 – Prof:  We all knew this was gonna happen. They were going up against Thor at Citi Field, for goodness’ sake. And the only way they were going to defeat Thor at Citi was to clone Freddie Freeman, Dansby Swanson, and Ender Inciarte about a dozen times because the rest of the team is trash. There, I said it. If I said it on Twitter I’d be murdered by my own friends in the Braves Fam, but it’s true. Our bench is hot, burning, acrid garbage, and the bullpen is actual nuclear waste. Eric O’Flaherty, for god’s sake. EO-effin-F. The Braves waste a perfectly fine outing from our only ace, Julio Teheran – who pitched six innings with no earned runs and only four hits. Syndergaard, in contrast, also went six with no runs and allowed five hits. The Barves – and yes, they were Barves today – also wasted a great performance from Freddie Freeman, who went 3-4 and now has a batting average of .750. That’s my boy.

Rockies 7, Brewers 5 – Mark Reynolds swatted in 3 RBI’s as the Rockies rallied to put up 3 runs late in the game to take the opener.

Royals 1, Twins 7 – Prof:  What? This seems odd. The Royals on paper are about five hundred times better than Minnesota, but the Twins game to play. I think it’s because TC Bear is a better mascot than Sluggerrr. Also, hello Happy! I hope that this game put a smile on your face! Ervin Santana gets the win and the chance to continue to #SmellBaseball for another day.

Padres 3, Dodgers 14 -Holy Shit this is not how you hope to start your season if you are a Padre.  Joc Pederson hit a grand slam, Yasmani Grandal hit two home runs, and Corey Seager hit a 3 run homer, all while the best damn pitcher in baseball threw 7 innings of two hit ball.

Mariners 0, Astros 3 – George Springer and Carlos Correa hit homers as Dallas Keuchel pitched 7 shutout innings and looked like the Dallas Keuchel of old.  Felix Hernandez lasted just 5 innings and left the game with a minor right groin pull.

Phillies 4, Reds 3 – Prof:  The only thing I care about from this game is that my boy, Scooter Gennett, nee of the Brewers, smashed a very nice home run. Love you, Scoots.

Indians 8, Rangers 5 – Corey Kluber did not have a good start, giving up three home runs, however the Indians mounted a comeback, down 5-1 and picked up runs in the 7th, 8th, and three in the 9th to put the Rangers away.

Angels 2, Athletics 4 – Both Khris Davis (twice) and Stephen Vogt went deep for the Athletics.  Mike Trout also hit his third opening day home run in the loss.

Marlins 2, Nationals 4 – Prof:  One thing that’s fun – Dusty Baker can’t remember Adam Lind’s name. He keeps calling him “Jeremy Lin”, as in the basketball player. Royce Harpler hits another Opening Day home run, per usual, and the Nats give Stephen Strasburg a win. For the Fish, it was the usual stellar performance from Giancarlo Stanton, while Edinson Volquez tried to help his own cause by going 2-4. Good job.

Pirates 3, Red Sox 5 – A 5 run 5th was all the Sox needed to take the opener against the Pirates who just couldn’t muster enough to take the opener.  Benintendi picks up the 3 run home run that ended up being the difference in this one.

Blue Jays 2, Orioles 3 F/11 – TRUMBO JUMBO!  One of the great things about humans is we learn from our past mistakes, and Buck Showalter certainly learned from his.  In a game that played out almost exactly like last year’s ALWC, Buck did not hesitate to go with his star closer, and this time, the game resulted in a walk off win for the Birds.  What a way to start the season!  They may not be the best team in the league, but they sure are a fun team to watch.  Also, Manny made a play that maybe only a handful of third-basemen in the history of the game could make.

Tigers, White Sox – PPD – Rain on Opening Day should be a crime.  I don’t know who we would actually prosecute, but someone needs to pay for this insubordination!