Prof: Today was Opening Day for pretty much everyone, my team included. I did wear my Braves jersey to work today, and got a lot of questions from my coworkers. “Why in the world are you wearing a Greg Maddux jersey?” Oh, innocent people. They don’t know me very well yet. But y’all do, so let’s get started.
Scouts: One of the annual traditions I just don’t get is the day off following Opening Day. We all know how the season is more of a marathon than a sprint, and I guarantee you if you polled every player they would MUCH prefer to have the day off later in the season. I mean, what are the players tired after playing one full game? You have all this momentum, all this press, people are excited to get back into baseball and you take the day off. What the hell is wrong with you? If I had my way, Opening Day would be on Sunday. Games would be staggered all day, starting at 11am EST. You’d get Fox, TBS, and ESPEN all involved to play non-stop wall-to-wall baseball. Sure if you absolutely insist on a Saturday night game, fine, you get one game. But make Sunday ALL ABOUT Baseball. Then, I’d come right back at it on Monday. Everybody plays. Make the beginning of the season the National Holiday it truly deserves to be. Get sponsorship. Have all day baseball parties. Really do this right. Come on MLB, it shouldn’t be this difficult.
Braves 0, Mets 6 – Prof: We all knew this was gonna happen. They were going up against Thor at Citi Field, for goodness’ sake. And the only way they were going to defeat Thor at Citi was to clone Freddie Freeman, Dansby Swanson, and Ender Inciarte about a dozen times because the rest of the team is trash. There, I said it. If I said it on Twitter I’d be murdered by my own friends in the Braves Fam, but it’s true. Our bench is hot, burning, acrid garbage, and the bullpen is actual nuclear waste. Eric O’Flaherty, for god’s sake. EO-effin-F. The Braves waste a perfectly fine outing from our only ace, Julio Teheran – who pitched six innings with no earned runs and only four hits. Syndergaard, in contrast, also went six with no runs and allowed five hits. The Barves – and yes, they were Barves today – also wasted a great performance from Freddie Freeman, who went 3-4 and now has a batting average of .750. That’s my boy.
Rockies 7, Brewers 5 – Mark Reynolds swatted in 3 RBI’s as the Rockies rallied to put up 3 runs late in the game to take the opener.
Royals 1, Twins 7 – Prof: What? This seems odd. The Royals on paper are about five hundred times better than Minnesota, but the Twins game to play. I think it’s because TC Bear is a better mascot than Sluggerrr. Also, hello Happy! I hope that this game put a smile on your face! Ervin Santana gets the win and the chance to continue to #SmellBaseball for another day.
Padres 3, Dodgers 14 -Holy Shit this is not how you hope to start your season if you are a Padre. Joc Pederson hit a grand slam, Yasmani Grandal hit two home runs, and Corey Seager hit a 3 run homer, all while the best damn pitcher in baseball threw 7 innings of two hit ball.
Mariners 0, Astros 3 – George Springer and Carlos Correa hit homers as Dallas Keuchel pitched 7 shutout innings and looked like the Dallas Keuchel of old. Felix Hernandez lasted just 5 innings and left the game with a minor right groin pull.
Phillies 4, Reds 3 – Prof: The only thing I care about from this game is that my boy, Scooter Gennett, nee of the Brewers, smashed a very nice home run. Love you, Scoots.
Indians 8, Rangers 5 – Corey Kluber did not have a good start, giving up three home runs, however the Indians mounted a comeback, down 5-1 and picked up runs in the 7th, 8th, and three in the 9th to put the Rangers away.
Angels 2, Athletics 4 – Both Khris Davis (twice) and Stephen Vogt went deep for the Athletics. Mike Trout also hit his third opening day home run in the loss.
Marlins 2, Nationals 4 – Prof: One thing that’s fun – Dusty Baker can’t remember Adam Lind’s name. He keeps calling him “Jeremy Lin”, as in the basketball player. Royce Harpler hits another Opening Day home run, per usual, and the Nats give Stephen Strasburg a win. For the Fish, it was the usual stellar performance from Giancarlo Stanton, while Edinson Volquez tried to help his own cause by going 2-4. Good job.
Pirates 3, Red Sox 5 – A 5 run 5th was all the Sox needed to take the opener against the Pirates who just couldn’t muster enough to take the opener. Benintendi picks up the 3 run home run that ended up being the difference in this one.
Blue Jays 2, Orioles 3 F/11 – TRUMBO JUMBO! One of the great things about humans is we learn from our past mistakes, and Buck Showalter certainly learned from his. In a game that played out almost exactly like last year’s ALWC, Buck did not hesitate to go with his star closer, and this time, the game resulted in a walk off win for the Birds. What a way to start the season! They may not be the best team in the league, but they sure are a fun team to watch. Also, Manny made a play that maybe only a handful of third-basemen in the history of the game could make.
Tigers, White Sox – PPD – Rain on Opening Day should be a crime. I don’t know who we would actually prosecute, but someone needs to pay for this insubordination!
Baseball snuck up on me this year; maybe it’s the fact that the Caps have drawn my attention, or maybe I’ve just been busy, but I felt less prepared for Opening Day this year than in year’s past.
That lack of preparation was most acutely shown in a text conversation I had during the game with SomeDaughterInVA, the sequel, wherein she asked, in order:
Who’s Adam Lind? (and was upset to find he’d essentially replaced one of her favorites, Clint Robinson)
Is Adam Eaton any good? (Told her he better be for the price the Nats paid.)
Who’s Wieters?
She understands the game, but her knowledge of players is pretty much limited to guys who’ve worn a Nats uniform, so it’s clear that going forward I need to sit down with her a few times over the winter to talk about roster construction and such.
Glad baseball’s back, off day today, back at it tomorrow.
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I felt exactly the same. I wasn’t craving it the way I usually do around January. Maybe it’s the new job that’s kept me SUPER busy, maybe it’s all the things going on in my personal life, but it was a pleasant surprise to have baseball be here.
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” I don’t know who we would actually prosecute, but someone needs to pay for this insubordination!”
I’m gonna blame Mitch McConnell.
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OMG, if there’s a Congressional investigation, it will cost millions, result in no prosecutions, and produce a published report of three thousand pages in legalese. Sometimes, a free pass is the better part of valor.
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And then there would need to be at least 3 or 4 more investigations to confirm the results of the first one.
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You know, getting paid hourly.
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I blame the Chinese because they invented global warming in order to steel our jobs. I’m sure evidence for this can be found on Anthony Wiener’s laptop.
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The only thing on Anthony Wiener’s laptop are pictures of Anthony’s wiener.
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Since the rain out happened in Chicago, the blame goes to Rahm Emanuel.
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The reason for the hangover day — aside from hangovers — is the meanness of Mother Nature, which the Tigers game lay victim to, requiring said dead day. Tomorrow, we shall be even. April is the cruelest month for baseball.
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April showers bring May flowers, even in Detroit.
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Wouldn’t it make more sense then to play three THEN have an off day? That way they can have an extra travel day or a backup rain out day. Having day 2 be a off-day just seems silly.
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Welcome back baseball! And welcome back to this column. Glad to see you guys in form. And loved how the Astros started the season. Two things I will note (not to gloat, exactly):
1. Alex Bregman forces an eleven pitch walk, advances to third on a short single by Aoki, and scores on a Correa sac fly. The kid may just end up as a star.
2. Keuchel is one of the smoothest fielding pitchers I have had the pleasure to watch. With his very high ground ball trends, that works very well. He took away two bunt singles last night.
Now for the happy six months: always a baseball game to watch somewhere.
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That was a pleasant afternoon.
But a note of pessimism: the heart of the Twins rally was three bases loaded walks, a feat normally only achieved by the Twins lovable bullpen. I expect the Gods will remind us of this in the not too distant future.
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