Tim, You Gotta Let It Go.

tebowHomeAmerica’s favorite washed up football player-turned-weekend baseball enthusiast keeps getting trotted out by the New York Mets, a team which never met a bad idea it didn’t like. Not only did Mets brass keep bringing Tebow out to play to the consternation of Metropolitan fans and amusement of his would-be teammates and manager, but now word comes that even after his awful debut during Spring Training Tebow will be headed to Class A ball.

Timmy’s about to fall down the well, and Lassie won’t be able to save him this time.

Tebow is 29, and he will be playing with kids. No, for real, actual kids. Class A is generally where you find 17, 18, 19 year old young men who are getting their feet wet in professional ranks. The building blocks to a long, successful career, not a vanity trip for a old has-been quarterback who looks like a proto-Dan Uggla with even less power.

David Wright, who has trouble finding bad things to say about anyone, much less a fellow nice guy like Timmy, might have said that he admired Tebow going out there and trying, but I guarantee you that if Tim even sniffs the New York dugout during the regular season even Davey will complain.

Because Tim Tebow has no business doing this.

I am the last person to shit on a person’s dreams, as mine get dumped on regularly, but there is also a point that one has to stop, re-evaluate their life, and realize it’s just not happening. Ever. I had that epiphany a few months ago myself; and while it’s very hard and very painful to give up on your dreams, you aren’t doing yourself any favors by living a lie.

Tim Tebow might earnestly believe he’s supposed to do this. But he also earnestly believed he had to continue to be a quarterback, and look where that got him. Here, on a Class A baseball team.


33 thoughts on “Tim, You Gotta Let It Go.

  1. Well, if Class A isn’t a wake up call, I don’t know what will be.

    If they had decided AA or AAA (not that it seemed so likely) he could have made a case for giving it a real effort. But I see this as a way of saying, “It’s been fun, but you’re not making it to MLB on this planet.”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The wake up is when he bombs against guys who can barely hack it in Class A.

      I was talking to COPO the other day and I said that I’d like to see him go up against Maddux and Glavine. Chase Maddux and Peyton Glavine, that is; they are still children and could probably strike Tim’s butt out.


      1. Yes, but, if I would have listened to all my family, friends and stranger’s telling me that a music career, with my skills, is a dead end job that you will spend exponentially more than you take in? Well I would never have tried.

        Granted, I would probably have a couple houses, maybe a Jaguar, and a line of credit. But that cocaine wasn’t going to snort itself! Those fucked up memories weren’t going to be remembered by some sober uptight Creed band. Best of all? I can’t blame God!

        Tebow, though, a true snake handler! A game winning home run? God’s will.

        Going 6/72 in single A? Recruiting! He’s America’s most notable Virgin! Fuck him! No, seriously, fuck him. If you do, no religious zealots will remember he exist.

        I only wish if you want to debase yourself for him, to lowering your standards, guide him into helping Planned Parenthood. If there’s ever a mother who maybe wanted a do over?

        Maybe his ? Haha.


      1. Jordan coulda been the best tennis player ever, the best WWE wrestler ever, didn’t matter. The dude still couldn’t hit breaking stuff.


      2. Citation needed! I remember a white man named Larry Bird who. …

        Sorry, I just can’t. I never cared about basketball UNTIL Jordan, we had a parade and shit before Michael, but when he put ub blow your mind numbers? Against the old guard?

        Yup best ever!


    1. If memory serves Jordan decided to give baseball a try after his dad’s death, because him becoming a MLB player was a dream he shared with his dad growing up. He gave it up gracefully enough after a year or so when it became apparent it wasn’t going to happen.

      Not a Jordan or NBA fan but I cut him some slack on this one.

      Thanks @proff for the post. I’ve been coming here most every day for the last ten days hoping to find something to talk about with my friends.


  2. As long as he remains a media darling (and a cash cow for somebody…this time around, the Fireflies…and as always ESPN), he won’t go away. He’s simply too clean, too white, too Christian, and too boyishly “attractive” for the panderers to let him go.

    Tebow won the Heisman, as a heavy system quarterback, in 2007. 2007. Then he fails in the NFL, sucks at the SEC Network, and now tries to do baseball.

    I’ve never seen so much of the sports media so continually masturbating to a guy who is almost 10 years removed from being a good player. If he were black, not Christian, and edgy they’d have given up on him after that first season in Denver.

    Liked by 4 people

    1. Also, if he were ugly. Timmy is a good looking, clean cut dude. That sells stuff. And if he’s good looking AND clean cut AND “wholesome” AND “humble”…. well… there’s a reason why he had a Jockey contract after he left Florida, and it’s not because he was the reigning Heisman winner, otherwise we would’ve seen Johnny Football in his tighty whiteys.

      But you see, I think that he’s not humble at all. If he were, he’d realize that he sucks at this stuff and stop. Or he would have accepted a different role in football, or he would have decided to not host a lousy game show with the generally unimpeachable Mike Holmes. Or…or…or!

      If I wanted to see a guy with Popeye arms and a Beyoncé booty who can’t field and can’t hit a ball I’d just ask for Dan Uggla back. Because I know that at least Uggs knows the game and truly loved it.


      1. There’s always Miller Light commercials. If they were good enough for George Steinbrenner, Derek Jeter, Boog Powell, Jim Honicek and Billy Martin, they’ll be good enough for Tim.


      2. My poor, poor dear. How else can he justify putting 5,000 year mythology into play. As long as the Mets get to promote him, they get to keep their name in the news, but he gets to put his anti-women agenda into play.

        Every single Christian knows that God hates fags, God hates the poor, Jesus especially hated sluts, and most importantly, God hates transgender people who use public restrooms!

        Little known fact : Jesus hates the affordable care Act because he wanted the richest people to pay for the poorest.

        Nah, just kidding, Jesus hated the meek, they should inherit nothing because they were Cucks. I imagine his. ..I guess stepfather? Might agree. Haha


  3. I’m not really sure a wake up call is actually necessary. Tim knows he doesn’t belong. It’s one big scam to stay in the public eye sell some tickets and autographs and maybe sign a few marketing contracts. I suspect he won’t last long in the minors. Just long enough for people to start to forget about him and then he’ll move on to the next scam. It’s only a matter of time before he gets desperate enough to leak a sex tape.


    1. Sex tape? Guys like Tebow only engage in intimate physical relationships for the divine and necessary purpose of procreation, dont’cha know.

      Hey scout, whaddup with the fantasy baseball situation this year. You see I got me some boots, “and these boots is made for walking…”


        1. So, basically, Tebow just rubbing one out into a sock while the non believers trick themselves into going to hell for abortions.

          I think that his masterbating habits could run into taxable millions. He’s fucking 29! At a hundred dollars a pop, he can fund meals on wheels himself .


  4. I can’t stop thinking of the guy in the movie Bull Durham. As Crash is arriving unhappily in A ball this fellow (name escapes me) announces to the clubhouse that he will lead prayers each day. Of course there is a lovely groupie who has covered all four bases with innumerable up-and-comers (pun intended) who charms the young fellow and they marry on the field under crossed bats.

    Who knows? Perhaps the same fate awaits our stalwart hero?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can moderately enjoy Khloe Kardashian. Like my intake of, say, a cocktail – that is, maybe once a month, tops, and even then it needs to be a small, weak one.

      The real star of that whole enterprise is Scott Disick. I have no shame, I think he’s a horrible person, but I love him.


      1. I think I’ve come across “blah blah…Kardashian…blah blah” a couple of billion times, and, each time being a cultural hermit and snob, I experience a momentary curiosity as to what shitty little TV show or whatever the “kardashians” appear on and who the fuck are they. Could you take a moment to let me know even though I won’t bother to check it out for myself


      1. Betcha Gator has got a recipe for radioactive crabs. Nuclear Crab Fondue? Thanks for making me hungry dude when the best I got is White Castle sliders in the freezer.


        1. Someday, possibly soon, I’ll share my recipe for crab and shrimp enchiladas and the one for macadamia nut encrusted crab cakes.


      1. Case closed. I can ignore the others with great success.

        But this Central African-style family enrichment dictatorship needs squelching.


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