All You Need To Know About Tim Tebow’s Baseball Career

Deadspin has an article up today. And it’s just.  I.  Can’t.  What THE FUCK Mets!

Look, we all knew the Tim Tebow scam was a scam, it was clear as day the minute it was announced.  But holy shit this is a whole new level of holy shit. The man who was once the biggest laughing stock in the NFL, with players publicly making fun of him on a consistent basis, is now the biggest laughing stock in MLB, with players publicly making fun of him on what is sure to be a consistent basis.

So in case you were not aware, Tim Tebow started and played in yesterday’s Spring Training game against Rick Porcello and the Red Sox.  The man who was once known for being a speedy player, who once was paid to throw a ball was slotted as the team’s Designated Hitter.  Batting 8th.  Think about that for a moment.  And if you think this was one of those Spring Training games that consisted of AA or Single A players, know that the Mets also started Granderson, Walker, Cespedes, Bruce, Duda, and d’Arnaud.  All regular players last season.  The Red Sox gave Rick Porcello 3 innings.  The Mets started Syndergaard.  So no this was not a team full of scrubs.

Anyways, let’s get back to the game.  Tim Tebow managed to have one hell of a game, going 0-3 with two strikeouts, one ground into a double play (with 0 outs and the bases loaded).  He also reached base once on a hit by pitch.  He was then immediately doubled off when he ran too far off first on a soft liner that was easily caught.

But none of that was Tim’s highlight of the day.  You see, Tim Tebow is a left-handed batter.  And although his team’s dugout was on the third-base side, when it was his turn to warm up, he walked over to the first base batter’s circle because that’s what left-handers do.

After a few swings, home plate umpire Ryan Additon noticed Tebow in the wrong on-deck circle, and told Tebow to get back to his side of the field. Tebow sheepishly complied.

Afterward Tebow explained his mistake, saying he had always thought that lefty batters warm up on that side of the field no matter which team they play for.

He actually walked all the way around the fucking plate and the umpire and everything to warm up on the opposing team’s side.  I mean holy shit I learned not to do that when I was 5.

When asked about the alarmingly stupid mistake Tebow commented:

“I thought you walk around because you’re a left-hander. I found out you don’t do that.”

You are batting for the fucking New York Mets in a game that a lot of people have paid to see and you JUST NOW FOUND OUT YOU DON’T DO THAT!

Of course others were asked to comment and many did not hold back.

“It looked like he hadn’t played baseball in a while,” Mets hitting coach Kevin Long said.

“He’s so far behind on the nuances of the game,” Mets OF Jay Bruce said.

Boston’s Rick Porcello, warming up on the mound, said he assumed it was a bat boy.

You want highlights?  We got highlights!

Tim Tebow is the most Mets thing the Mets have ever done.  But don’t you worry.  Tebow will return to the Met’s lineup this Friday.  Get your DVR’s ready!

23 thoughts on “All You Need To Know About Tim Tebow’s Baseball Career

  1. I’ve seen the “use the opposite on-deck circle” ploy used in girls youth softball as a safety issue, but it’s based on the handedness of the current batter, not the on-deck batter.

    If a righty’s up, the theory is that any foul balls on which she’s late will go toward the first base side, so next batter should be in the third base side on-deck circle, and vice versa for a left-handed hitter at the plate.


  2. I always thought this was a vanity project for Tebow and a naked PR stunt for the Mets. But, at the same time, I’ve got no beef with Tebow either way. The Holy Roller stuff was a bit annoying, but it wasn’t all his fault. He was demonstrative – that’s fine, if he was a Sikh I’d expect him to wear a turban. And to a large extent he just became a symbol for the larger culture war that we are fighting in this country.

    He just doesn’t seem very intelligent in his career choices. If you believe the sportswriters, it was made clear to him that he had a possible future as a fullback/tight end type, but he was having no part of it unless he was QB. And I don’t think anybody thought this baseball thing had a chance.

    Having said that, I hate to see the man embarrass himself. It would be fine with me if he hit a nice, insufficient .180 or so in Spring Training and just faded into the Minors before quitting.

    He needs to go figure out what his real life is going to be about.


  3. “Come inside, the show’s about to start
    guaranteed to blow your head apart
    Rest assured you’ll get your money’s worth
    The greatest show in Heaven, Hell or Earth.
    You’ve got to see the show, it’s a dynamo.
    You’ve got to see the show, it’s rock and roll ….”

    Emerson, Lake and Palmer.

    Read more: Emerson, Lake & Palmer – Karn Evil 9 Lyrics | MetroLyrics

    Liked by 4 people

        1. Does seeing a bar band called “Free Beer” cover this one (and “Stealin'” by Uriah Heep) count as experiencing them? Because that’s all I got.

          Plus, there was that one time I saw another bar band called “Strawberry Jam” cover “Funk 49”; that was cool.

          Liked by 1 person

        2. Free Beer. Best band name EVER!

          After Five Skin, Three Skin, Jet Black Pope, The Andy Andy Andies, Just the tip, Hand Grill Suicide, Scarecrow Boat, Everything Rhymes with Orange, Nothing Rhymes with Orange, Ninja Dick, and The Andy Dwyer Experience.


    1. You can say I’m not a fan. I think his hubris and ego caused him to waste a potentially middle of the pack career, (something quite rare and desirable) playing football by being too damn stubborn to accept the fact that he was a terrible quarterback and should have been a TE or a RB or even a WR. An opportunity that many only beg and dream of. I think he is vein as all hell and thinks he is better than anyone else and just LOVES to thrust his holier than thou bullshit into everyone’s face because he thinks his faith gives him superiority. I think his MLB career is a joke and a farce designed to keep him relevant in the public persona and to eventually earn him a lot of money. I think he is doing so at the cost of someone who has actually put in the work and effort that he was too lazy to put in and is costing a worthy person a legitimate shot. And I really don’t like how he’s handed everything without having to work for it like everyone else.

      While I admit he may be a decent enough human being, that’s also on a pretty crappy scale. As far as we know he’s never physically harmed any living thing, so that’s good. He doesn’t appear to be a drunk or a drug addict. He isn’t evil. He’s just not what I would consider a person worthy of admiration. He’s not evil. He’s just not a good person. He’s self centered and he prey’s on the good nature in others to further his personal wealth and power. So yeah, when he makes a jackass out of himself, when his bullshit is revealed, I have no problems pointing it out.

      Of course, who am I to judge? I’m no saint myself. But at least I don’t shy away from my failings. I’ll openly admit them. They are part of me, not something to be ashamed of, rather lessons to be learned, reasons to strive to be a better person. It’s not about being a perfect human being, it’s about striving to be a better human being. To support others around them. I think most people are like that. Except those that try to take advantage of others. Even if they aren’t aware they are doing it. So yeah. Not a fan.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Maybe a shade harsh, Scout, but you sure nailed him on the vanity.

        Like I said above, it’s almost time for him to go home and figure out what he does with the rest of his life. Give him a few years and I imagine you will find that he wonders what he could have done with that NFL chance. I say (with some generosity) I hope it doesn’t eat him up too badly, because we all screw up. Never underestimate that these young sports types are told they are great from such a young age that they are almost all narcissists. Who wouldn’t be?

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Actually, I think all I need to know about Tebow is this: he’s ridden his white Christian Heisman True-American Boy (TM) status much too far, and people are somehow still handing him gigs.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Can’t stand the Evangelical right wing nut. Once told them I was a Satan worshipper and to “come on in” when they came uninvited as missionaries to my home. It was funny to see them run away!


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