Scrooge McLoria Reportedly Has Handshake Deal to Sell Feesh!

Macondo’s NBC affiliate is reporting today that Scrooge McLoria has a “handshake deal” to sell the Feesh to a mystery New York real estate developer (no, thank Buddha, not that one) for $1.6 billion dollars. Mierda! If I’d known they were going for that little, I’d’ve bought them myself!

Story goes that the prospective buyer has to divest himself of some of his real property holdings to meet MLB’s liquidity requirements. Please Buddha, don’t let Hair Hitler crash the economy before he is able to do so! Rumors have abounded for about a year now that the team was up for sale, either because Scrooge and the Chihuhua have become frustrated that they can’t formfit reality around their whims and win on a pittance or because they can’t seem to convince enough people to show up for the games after alienating the entire community with their unique amalgam of lies, misrepresententions, impecuniousness, crappy personnel decisions and their general buggering over of the city with their stadium deal. Whatever. This story now seems sufficently grounded in probability that the always scrupulous NBC (Nyarrk! Nyarrk! Nyarrrk!) saw fit to run it.

Come here, little feller…I want to introduce you to our local santera  and maybe together we can sufficiently propitiate the Old Ones to make this all work….

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13 thoughts on “Scrooge McLoria Reportedly Has Handshake Deal to Sell Feesh!

  1. Word has come that the prospective buyer is Charles Kushner, father-in-law of Ivanka Trump, and noted tax evader and witness tamperer and illegal campaign contributor. Let the games begin.

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    • Yeah well, there are times when one’s inadvertent clairvoyance returns to bite one on the ass – like, when I jokingly wrote “no, not that one” (meaning Hair Hitler) in my original post and got his mishpoocha instead.

      Well, who’s really surprised that Scrooge McLoria socializes with convicted perjurers?

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  2. “a mystery New York real estate developer (no, thank Buddha, not that one)”

    Awww man… and here I was looking forward to seeing the new uniforms of the Miami Trumps…

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  3. Twill the merciless amusements of the Gods save us?

    Charles Kushner – Jared Kushner – The Cheeto. Will we soon be hearing about the terrible rulings of ‘so called umpires’?

    Fucking with the military and economic well being of the world for personal gain is not considered to be an impeachable offense by Mitch McConnell and Paul Ryan, but the infield fly rule, let us pray.

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  4. Indeed. You lucky bastard. You not only get to live where it hardly ever snows, but your team may be falling from the hands of a cartoonish local kleptocracy into the hands of a worldwide one.

    You get to soak up the rays while the fate of the world is saved by the spirit of Bombo Rivera.

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    • I almost wonder if this isn’t Scrooge McLoria’s way of saying “up yours” to the community for letting him know how little we think of him. Here, macondo – have a Trump supporter and I hope you choke on him. I doubt if many people will be sad to see him go, and there may well be spontaneous street fairs when and if any sale of the team becomes official. The schadenfreude will fritter itself away quickly thereafter and we’ll be stuck with yet another right wingnut we can’t stand either.

      File this under “be careful what you pray for….”

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      • But face it, OG. If this right wingnut actually happens to run the team for the benefit of a decent record and plays well in the community, he will be celebrated as a hero of the masses. Could very well happen.

        We fans are very zero sum. Our war profiteer in Houston is actually moderately popular now that the team is winning with some regularity.

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