Brian Wilson Attempts a Comeback; Prof Loses Her Mind

Do you guys remember Brian Wilson? Of course you do. How can you forget a guy who did stuff like this?


The guy who had wicked stuff and stared down the red hot Rangers in the 2010 World Series has been off our radar for a few years due to injuries and people thinking he’s a giant douche, but he’s back. Sorta.

Full disclosure – I hate the Giants, but I have always had a soft spot for Brian Wilson. Do I hate that beard? Hell yes, I do, it’s nasty. Do I think he’s an asshole? Well, yeah, kinda. Do I think he’s fascinating? Of course I do. I kinda have a thing for jerks, so that fits. Also, when he’s clean shaven he’s gorgeous, so there’s that. (Side note, has there ever been a guy who is THAT different with a beard? He’s a sex bomb clean shaven and a Human Ipecac with the facial hair.)

brian wilson
Le Sigh.

Anyway, Wilson has been out of the League since 2014, when he pitched for the Dodgers. But he’s attempting a comeback, and… well, see for yourself.

Yahoo’s Tim Brown caught up with the Freaky Bearded (Beardless?) One and found out that the nearly 35 year old is still kind of a jerk, but is practicing his knuckleballs. He’s coming in right on time, too; R.A. Dickey is getting too old, and Wright from the Red Sox has reignited his career with a knuckler. Wilson, who clearly still loves the game, could be an interesting addition to any team’s rotation if he is able to learn and perfect this most avant garde of pitches.

Which would be perfect for such an avant garde type of dude.

If only he were clean shaven

8 thoughts on “Brian Wilson Attempts a Comeback; Prof Loses Her Mind

  1. I cannot disagree more strongly with your assessment of the beard (albeit being straight, Wilson isn’t the pheromonal stimulus for me he is for you). The hirsute are the lamedvovniks of civilization. Wilson’s powers are husbanded in his beard. Without it, he’s just Samson post-bamboozlement. Even in nature, the beard is a sign of masculine puissance and dignity, for example:

    Bearded Drago, Prince of Squamata

    Emperor Monkey

    Wonder Warthog


    Mr. Creosote


  2. I always found Mr. Wilson’s staggeringly huge self-regard to be a bit tiresome. And, like Prof, I always found the beard hideous. But, being of the same general orientation as OG, it never had a sexual component for me. He just looked like he had glued a dead animal to his face.

    But baseball is measured only in performance. Will that floater go over the plate? And will batters miss it?

    If so, we may have Mr. Wilson to kick around a while longer.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. NPB, definitely. I’d get a financial group together to start up a team in Kagoshima just so he’d have a crowd weird enough to appreciate him.


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