My Favorite Inadvertently Hilarious Comment of the Day (Having Doodlysquat to do with Beisbol)

This is from an article in the normally more self-conscious Wikipedia, regarding the efforts of field biologists in the Galapagos Islands to breed more Pinta Island giant saddleback tortoises by putting the last known specimen of his race, the late, great, eminent Lonesome George, to stud:

Related image

Here’s the quote in question: “Over the decades, all attempts at mating Lonesome George had been unsuccessful, due to the lack of females of his own subspecies.”

I met Lonseome George – even scratched his chin; he was an affable duffer – at the Darwin Research Center in Puerto Ayora, Santa Cruz Island (half a day’s sail from San Cristobal, whence cometh my beloved shade-grown-in-volcanic-soil Galapagos coffee) about ten or so years back. What the article doesn’t tell you is that they kept shoving eligible female giant saddleback tortoises from other nearby islands under his nose but having attained wisdom appropriate to his centenarian status,  he already knew that females were more trouble than they were worth – tough to climb up on those big smooth carapaces, and what have you – and so scrupulously ignored them all.

Rest in peace and hard earned sanity, big guy.



14 thoughts on “My Favorite Inadvertently Hilarious Comment of the Day (Having Doodlysquat to do with Beisbol)

    • Yeah, well, if you were a Feesh fan and watched the uninspired pinchpenny procedings of this orfseason so far, you’d be about as enthusiastic as Lonesome George in that photo just above. I’m about as disinterested about the coming season as I can recall being in years. Please Buddha, send us a buyer for the team. Cthulhu would be an improvement.


  1. Maybe he’s just a really old guy who resents having to have passed his life pretending that he was interested in girls. I envy him his shell.


  2. I’ve read some stories regarding about the great Lonesome George, I believe he was even the main topic of our History class once during highschool, and was said to be the rarest creature in the world… correct me if I’m wrong though, but I think it was mentioned that they’ve tried cross-breeding due to the lack of females of his species, but failed to produce?


    • You are correct. Females failed to interest him – even exotic females from other islands. No Fletcher Christian, ol’ George.

      They’re going to try to clone him. Really. They’ve saved some blood samples and other tissues. Now, he’s stuffed and mounted in the lobby of the Darwin Center in Puerto Ayora, like Trigger, Bullet and Dale Evans in Roy Rogers’ foyer.

      Meanwhile, we’re expecting a cold front to come through and lose our climatological innocence for us. Temperatures are expected to plummet into the sixties. I have to turn up my pool heater if I want to get my laps in.

      Cold fronts suck, but I guess they beat getting twerked by a cold rear.

      Liked by 2 people

  3. An affable duffer? I would pay money to have watched ‘ol George play golf… It would have been a rare combination of zen-like patience and total hilarity…

    (P.S. Per, George is Gamera’s cousin on mom’s side, many times removed…)


    • I’ve played golf on the old course at St. Andrews. Just sayin’.

      Unfortunately, I dance better than I play golf, and my wife won’t go out on the floor with me under any circumstances. We’re at that age where crushed toes and hangnails take forever to heal.

      PS – this might interest you:


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