Eat Your Peas!

Apparently, this year, a lot of you didn’t eat your goldamn blackeyed peas on New Year’s.

Me at the beginning of 2016 and me at the end of 2016.

How did that work out for all of us?

Yeah, you killed Prince and Bowie and effed up the Force.

Let’s not repeat the killing year, shall we?



Blackeyed Pea Dip:

1 can Rotel tomatoes with chilies

2 cans blackeyed peas, drained

1/2 green bell pepper, chopped

1/2 onion, chopped

1/2 c ketchup

1/2 tsp garlic salt

Dump all in a small slow cooker, stir, and let simmer until the flavors mix. Serve with chips. Alternately, you can simmer it in a pan on the stove — or serve cold after cooling.

I don’t want to hear any excuses about not eating your peas, now. I lost my brother and step-father this year (and dad and brother-in-law last year), so I need y’all to cooperate here. Stop the killing; eat your luck-fiber.

For you uncooperative grumblestones who need “positive motivation,” I ate my blackeyed peas and fell in love this year. Love is love is love is love is legumes. Eat!

Share the love, y’all.


8 thoughts on “Eat Your Peas!

  1. I’m baking a ham, with my butter-brownsugar-bourbon glaze. And having BEPs and collard greens.
    Didn’t seem to help last year, tho. Guess there were just too many of you that didn’t your damned peas.


  2. I will never ever eat green peas, but black eyed peas, maybe so. Your recipe, unlike gator’s which are exhausting to read let alone execute, looks very doable to a chef Boyardee guy like me. I wish I’d seen it before the grocery stores closed.

    It is 22 degrees here outside, but where I’m sitting it’s over 70. If it snows tonight the snow will fall on my roof and not on my head. I have had as much as I need to eat today and am looking forward to my bedtime snack of two nuked up white castle cheeseburgers as I watch the 1951 version of The Day The Earth Stood Still on a big ass TV I got for around 200 bucks. And I know that all my children and grandchildren are also in a warm safe place and have had enough to eat.

    You are still alive, I am still alive, @badhair is still alive, and still are most of everybody else here who have held each other up during the most painful periods of our lives.

    Beginning in about 3 weeks we may start to be graced with the pain providing us with the wisdom of how wondrous these taken for granted things are.

    Liked by 3 people

    1. My wife is also watching Michael Rennie and muttering “Klaatu barada nikto” as she gulps her take-out pad thai. Me, I’m making chicken croquettes with mashed potatoes and gravy. Here:

      -run two cooked split chicken breasts, cut into strips, through a hand cranked meat grinder, alternating each piece of chicken with a wedge of raw onion.
      -finely dice two celery stalks and add to ground chicken.
      -add two large eggs.
      -season liberally with salt and pepper.
      -season liberally again with poultry seasoning.
      -add 1 teaspoon of mustard – Dijon is best.
      -add 1/4 cup of Italian bread crumbs.
      -add one 8-oz. can of condensed cream of chicken soup.
      -wash your hands. Jam them into the bowl and scrunch the mixture together, blending thoroughly. You can use a spoon instead if you’re, you know, foppish.
      – put mixture in refridgerator for an hour to chill thoroughly.
      -pour a generous amount of Italian bread crumbs into a shallow tray. Mix with a teaspoon of whole wheat flour and sprinjkle liberally with poultry seasoning. Lay out an adjacent shallow pan of beaten egg or egg substitute.

      When the mix is cold and stiff, mold it into about a dozen to a half dozen croquettes. The traditional shape is conical but patties work fine too. Roll or dip the croquettes in the egg, let excess drip off, and roll in the bread crumbs.

      Fry in peanut, olive or mix vegetable oil (canola, it turns out, is pretty toxic for frying use) until the outsides of the croquettes are nicely brown and crispy. Drain in a collander lined with paper towel.

      Consume ravenously with any good white chicken or southern style gravy and mashed potatoes. Wash down with whatever tickles your bippy.

      Mmmmmm-mmmmm. Comfort food.

      Incidentally, here’s what I bought myself for Festivus. Really. It is full of lethal recipes, as you might imagine:

      Liked by 1 person

        1. There are multiple recipes for coconut cream pie in here, just as an example. I’m going to begin augmenting them this very week – likely with coconut creme rum, for starters, and some carambola.


        2. Five hundred different recipes for coconut macaroons. 😛

          The Professor’s Coconut Powered Solar Panel is, alas, not included.


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