Wel-l-l-l, it’s been a week or so since the Feesh made their offer to Kenly Jansen. It seems like every year, the Rainbow Warriors are reported “all in” on some big free agent but always seem to miss out on him by some quantum mechanical margin. You almost get the feeling (ie, you almost get the feeling – I, on the other hand, get the feeling, period) that their largest offers are somehow calculated to misfire. Take the Prince Albert offer of a few years back: they put the big money on the table but refused to include the no-trade clause Pujols had demanded. They could say, hey, we put up the money but you knew they had no intention of ackcherley landing the guy. Then there was the monster contract they signed with the Iron Giant, only to have the Chihuahua overheard at the next manager’s meeting saying that they backloaded it in expectation that the big guy would opt out before the biggest bucks came due.
But like the song says, you gotta know when to hold ’em, know when to fold ’em. The Feesh front orifice has become expert and knowing when to fold ’em.
Which brings us to Kenley Jansen. The Feesh made their offer to Jansen two days before his wedding in Curacao, and have been sitting on their thumbs ever since. No word from Jansen. And you think the Dodgers and Gnats are sitting pat? Rrrrright.
At this point I don’t expect Jansen to sign with the Feesh. I could always be wrong of course, but I doubt it. Meanwhile Koji Uehara, Scrooge McLoria’s favorite cheaper fallback option, signed with the Cubs. Junichi Tazawa and anyone else on the short list may well be gone by the time Jansen runs out of Viagra and finally checks in with his answer.