Feesh Learn Nothing from Jackson, Chen Signings or Cashner, Rodney Trades; Sign Volquez to Continue Fracking Rotation

The Feesh have turned from roster building to antique collecting. To a rotation that was inadequate to contend in the NL East even before El Keed met his untimely end, the Feesh have now added the un-QO’d Edinson Volquez (2016: 10-11, 5.37 ERA, 23 HR allowed, 189 IP). They have spoken of “filling the hole” in the rotation by stuffing an even bigger one into its place: Volquez adds two and a half earned runs per nine innings to El Keed’s “hole,” refashioning it into a crater, on a team that seems to have congenital problems with stranding baserunners. The Feesh have added a pitcher who racked up a 5.37 ERA last year to a team that scored an average of 4.07 runs per game  (27th in MLB). Do the math.

Proving that they have learned nothing from their blighted signing of  King of Ding Wei-Yin Chen, they’re going to pay this has-been eleven million smackeroonies per season for two years. I predict – and it doesn’t need a crystal ball or even a beer bottle – that before two more seasons are out Scrooge McLoria is going to have to eat big gouts of those ridiculous contracts to get rid  of one or both of them. For longtime voyeurs of the Rainbow Warriors, it will, at least, be novel to see pitchers occupying the ecological niche in the Feesh budget once reserved for former managers. Meanwhile the fans in the first few rows of the outfield seats are going to be wearing whiplash braces after a full season of Chen and Volquez pitching in tandem.

No doubt the Feesh are hoping for yet another “bounceback season” from yet another “innings eater.” They were hoping for bounceback seasons from Cashner, Rodney and Edwin Jackson too. Good luck to Team Flubber.

I realize that Michael Hill is getting his marching orders from Scrooge McLoria, but I also don’t doubt that Dan Jennings is enjoying the spectacle of Hill digging his own grave from the Meerkat’s catbird seat in Washington. Hill’s palace coup against Jennings reminded me of Cromwell’s prescient lament about his Henry VIII-driven putsch of Thomas More in A Man For All Seasons: “If I bring about More’s death, I plant my own, I think.” Yeah, well.

It looks more and more like the only thing for which the Feesh will “contend” in 2017 is against the Razed for the lowest attendance in MLB.










3 thoughts on “Feesh Learn Nothing from Jackson, Chen Signings or Cashner, Rodney Trades; Sign Volquez to Continue Fracking Rotation

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