Today is more of a He Said, He Said as Prof is a little under the weather today and I’ve got the house all to myself. I’m throwing a little party, and you and your closest 50 friends are all invited. At the moment it’s just me and my other personality, so make sure to bring plenty of beer. We’re all going streaking in the quad!
Cardinals 1, Rockies 11 – Wow, what an ass whooping. You’d never know of it, but one of these teams is trying to make the playoffs, and it’s not the team who put up a pair of 5 run innings. Nolan Arenado went 2-3 with a Grand Slam. I hope he went to Denny’s after the game and they treated him to a free meal.
Astros 6, Athletics 5 – Evan Gattis hit a pair of home runs. Maybe the Astros will be like the Giants and every other year they will be really good. The talent seems to be there it’s just a matter of putting it all together.
Blue Jays 1, Mariners 2 – Seattle walks off on a Robinson Cano sac fly. Guillermo Heredia who scored the winning run only reached base due to a 2 base error by Josh Donaldson. He then moved to third on a sac bunt, and this is how you lose a game without giving up a hit.
Red Sox 5, Orioles 1 – My neighbor had to come check up on me after I threw a fit after watching the Orioles lose a
fucking ballgame after Chris fucking Davis threw the ball away with 2 outs in the 8th. The next batter hit a home run, and this is how you lose a game (that you were winning) without giving up an earned run. Baltimore has now lost three in a row at home and looks like they may miss the playoffs entirely. Sometimes I miss the days when you knew the O’s were gonna lose. Now they just get your hopes up.
White Sox 3, Phillies 8 – Chris Sale gives up 7 hits and 6 runs in just 4 innings.
Braves 4, Mets 3 – What’s the opposite of a bat flip? A ball kiss. Are there even unwritten rules to guard against this?
Royals 4, Indians 4 – We all know the pitcher win stat is pretty lame, but Corey Kluber has 18 wins now and that’s pretty impressive for a guy who’s not on the best of teams.
Yankees 11, Rays 5 – Tampa Bay actually hit 5 home runs in this game. It’s a shame they couldn’t put anyone else on base. Gary Sanchez and Brad Miller each had multi-home run games. Alex Cobb went just 1.1 innings giving up 7 runs. There are no words. Ok, there are plenty of words. Terrible. Bad. Whoof.
Nationals 8, Marlins 3 – This was a big loss for Miami who is now 4 games back of the wild card and still a game behind Pittsburgh. Trea Turner, everyone’s little kid brother hit another home run. I just want to give him a cookie.
Reds 2, Cubs 9 – Yea, we get it Chicago. You are good. Now stop rubbing it in everyone’s faces already. Jerks.
Angels 5, Rangers 4 – Mike Trout did what Mike Trout does. Win ballgames. Texas is in cruise control mode.
Pirates 4, Brewers 1 – The Brew-Crew was down 3 runs before they even got their first at-bat.
Arizona 3, Padres 2 – Paul Goldschmidt hit a two-run and a solo home run, and if my math is right that means he won this game single-handily. Forget #FreeFreddie, we need a catchy hashtag to get Goldschmidt the hell out of Arizona.
Giants 3, Dodgers 9 – LA scored 8 in the first three innings as the Giants seem to be about as useful as I was that final two weeks in high-school once I got my college acceptance letter.
Tigers, Twins – PPD