The Vulture Report: August 29th, 2016

One Vulture this week? Tough Crowd. I don’t have any movie reviews either; too busy with my youngest’s birthday celebrations. You’re only 3 once I always say. Unless you’re 87, then you BEHAVE like a 3 year old. Watching Old Gator by then will be a blast as I figure he’ll be a cross between Clint Eastwood’s Gran Torino and Walter Mathau’s Grumpy Old Men.

I’m planning to see Suicide Squad now that all the hubbub has died down. The critics have naturally eviscerated the movie which in turn caused a comic book nerd tsunami to demand the tearing down of the Rotten Tomatoes site. I find both sides equally amusing and more than a little deluded.

Especially the critics, they still can’t reconcile the fact that the movie was pretty much a success at the Box Office (575.4 million as of this writing vs 175 million budget). They resort to grasping at straws pointing out that “finally” the movie stopped being #1 at the box office after three weeks, and therefore audiences are finally wising up to how terrible it is (guffaw! guffaw! it’s not like those folks are running to the theater to demand a refund!). Never mind the fact that ALL movies after the first three weeks see their numbers slow down. It’s well known movie theater phenomenon. I’m guessing they were also miffed at Fifty Shades of Grey earning more than half a billion dollars on a $40 million dollar budget despite the critic’s consensus that it was a really crappy movie.

Sometimes we just like mindless entertainment and are willing to pay bucks for it. Take for example last week when the Arizona Diamondbacks faced the Atlanta Braves. Isn’t that the very definition of mindless entertainment? Neither team is going anywhere the rest of the season. What could possibly motivate people to watch these train wrecks? Remember, Faux-Hitler is in charge of one team and just like the real life one, seems intent on a scorched earth policy for his club. Meanwhile the other team goosed some taxpayers into a brand new ball park they didn’t need. It’s like watching Megatron beat down the Decepticons trying to usurp his leadership position. Entertainment? sure. Mindless? all the way. Does it matter? Not a bit!

August 23rd, Enrique Burgos of the Arizona Diamondbacks. This guy has a name that reminds me of a South American soccer player rather than a Baseball Player. Don’t know why that is. Maybe he’s better at Soccer than Baseball? His numbers are fairly pedestrian. Last year his bright spot was a very high K9 rate. But that was saddled with a very high everything-else: WHIP, H9, BB9. You name it, he’s terrible at it. He’s hasn’t struck out as many batters as last year and he’s shown only marginal improvement in his secondary numbers.

This is the man who was charged with closing the door on the Braves having just a 1 run lead to work with. Freddie Freeman put his foot in the crack of the door and blew it off the hinges. It’s been a while since I’ve posted one of these, but this what happens to a 3-0, 95 MPH fastball thrown to Freddie Freeman:

Enrique was unable to throw a single strike before blowing the lead. Ouch. Fortunately his team’s first baseman Paul Goldschmidt, hit a dinger of his own in the bottom of the 9th for a walk off win. Savor the flavor Enrique, I’m fairly sure your tenure in MLB will not last very long and you’ll have to find something else to do to pay the bills. Try soccer.

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Tony LaRussa grabs Enrique Burgos after the game for a one on one chat.

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