Prof: It’s Thursday. Time to rock out!
Dodgers 7, Phillies 2 – Prof: Adrian Gonzalez hit two home runs in this win over Philadelphia. Must’ve been inspired by Chase Utley.
Twins 10, Braves 3 – Prof: Last night was the major league debut of our lord and savior, Dansby Swanson. The Braves leapfrogged him from Rome straight to Atlanta, although to be perfectly honest I don’t know why. Atlanta isn’t going anywhere, so why eat up more of Swanson’s eligibility? But we must have our fun where we can, and Dansby is our fun. A shame the Braves can’t play up to the hype, giving up 10 runs and 14 hits to Minnesota.
White Sox 10, Indians 7 – Chicago picked up 5 in the 9th including a Grand Slam by Adom Eaton.
A’s 2, Rangers 6 – Prof: Yu Darvish gets the win, but Jonathan Lucroy and Elvis Andrus save the day. Lucroy went 2-4 with a homer and Andrus 3-4.
Brewers 1, Cubs 6 – Prof: Jon Lester pitches 6.2 innings as Chicago completely embarasses Milwaukee. Fun fact – Jimmy Nelson gave up five runs in the first inning. He calmed down afterwards, giving up only a solo homer to David Ross in the third, but by then it was too late. Another fun fact – Kris Bryant was HBP in the first two innings.
Mariners 4, Angels 3 –Hope you didn’t get too used to winning LA.
Blue Jays 7, Yankees 4 – Prof: The Artist Formerly Known as BJ Upton smacked his first Blue Jay home run, going 2-4 with 3 RBI. J.A. Happ gets his 17th win. Scouts: Josh Donaldson and Manager John Gibbons got into a little shouting match little shouting match little shouting match in the dugout.
Padres 0, Rays 2 – Brad Miller’s 2 run home run in the first was all the offense this game would see.
Cardinals 8, Astros 2 – Don’t worry Houston fans, you are on your way to start a new winning streak against Baltimore.
Nationals 10, Rockies 12 – Prof: Holy crap, was this a terrible, wonderful game. Bryce Harper absolutely launched a rocket to space – 481 feet on his first home run in a month. However, on the mound, Stephen Strasburg was completely lit up like he was made out of lighter fluid. Nearly the entire Rockies lineup made it on base in the first inning, including the Rockies’ pitcher.
Red Sox 8, Orioles 1 – F/6 (rain) – The skies opened up for a mercy killing of the Orioles who have been just absolutely horrible in this series. Dylan Bundy making the start in place of Chris Tillman got fucking rocked and Good David Price showed up to shut down the birds. Baltimore is now clinging to the final wildcard.
Pirates 6, Giants 5 – Prof: Andrew McCutchen smashes a two run homer and Pittsburgh scores all of their runs in the fifth inning to defeat Matt Cain and San Francisco. Did you know that since the All Star Break, the Giants have one of the worst records in baseball?
Royals 4, Tigers 1 – Detroit’s bullpen fell apart once again giving up 1 in the 8th and 3 in the 9th. The team I just recently thought could have the most control in the final AL playoff standings now looks to be in serious trouble.
Marlins 2, Reds 3 – Ozuna hit another home run and seems to be coming out of the slump he was in, but the Reds managed to get to the Miami bullpen.
Mets 5, Diamondbacks 13 – Prof: Wow, remember when we thought the Mets were going to dominate the National League? They now own a .500 record – 60-60 on the year. For the Gritty Snakes, Yasmany Tomas was the star of the game, with two home runs and six RBI.