Okay, I have digested all that sauerkraut, entrail sausage and alcohol free white beer. Time to get serious again.
Down in the minors, Dee Gordon is being readied to return to the Feesh at the end of the month, and the team, fresh from taking a three game series from the inexplicably awful Cardinals, finds itself at a season high seven games beyond the strange attractor (which has been taken in for a tuneup), locked like a Bernoulli twin into secondthird place with the Mutts (whose prospects have dimmed as their vaunted peetching staph is coming apart at the elbows, rotator cuffs and ribcages). Today, the Feesh came back (as they did in to out of their three St. Louis games) to win 6-3 on a couple of doubles from the Iron Giant and also from Christian Yelich.
How inexplicably awful are the Cardinals? Well, Busch Stadium was practically empty by the seventh inning with their team trailing by two. That gives you some idea of what clueless ball they’ve been playing (they’re 13-28 in one run games so far this season), when such perennially devoted fans head to the Central West End for a brew with a third of a game left to play.
Also, the Feesh brought up minor league speedster Yeifi Perez this week, and the kid, pinch running for Cole Gillespie, stole second on a pickorf attempt and then came rocketing home on a single at 21.2 MPH. Kid can run. Seeing him and Dee Gordon on base at the same time should be all kinds of evil fun, no?
Over the next several days, I plan to examine the trajectory of Scrooge McLoria and Jar Jar Baseball’s minimalist masterpiece as we head into the depths of the second half and approach the ersatz thermocline of the waiver deadline. Tomorrow, I will begin with the rotation (no, not one of Reshad Feild’s Sufi turns, even if the discussion will involve some….rumination) and the pen. Wednesday, I will discuss the infield, and Friday, the outfield. That’ll give the Iron Giant an extra few days to prove that he’s not merely heating up one of his streaks but ackcherely settling in for the putsch to the playorfs.
Trump supporters! More great news – Ichiro had a couple more hits today, bringing him to 2,964 on the season. Not only can you now leave both socks on while figuring out how many more hits he needs to reach 3000 but – hint, hint – with two more hits, you can also free up the index finger on one hand to attend to your nostrils!
Um – no, Donald, that’s wrong….