ATTENTION HUMANS OF NEW YORK AND MLB FANS EVERYWHERE!
can no longer be yours. Oops, I meant this:
Yes, the Jetes has married. He is off the market, folks, and eager to move into fatherhood, he says. Expect the NY tabloids to already be ramping up coverage of the pending appearance of little 2xx, 2xy, and/or 2xyy, 2xxyy, etc.
For those savoring the present moment, the wedding was held in California and attended by 100 of the couple’s closest friends and family. As always, Jorge Posada and Tino Martinez were on the Captain’s infield. Get used to that, wifey. You’ve married into Yankee royalty, so you might as well get cool with Pettitte serving as godfather and A-Rod babysitting. No word on whether the Captain called in The Closer for the ceremony.
Congratulations to Mr. Hannah Davis on his most excellent coupling and to the bride on scoring those lifetime tickets!