Feesh Filleted in Funny Hats

Usually, it’s Pirates who wear the funny hats but last night the Rainbow Warriors donned those anomalocaric camouflage caps for Memorial Day and promptly got theysefs filleted like Santiago’s marlin in The Old Man and the Sea:

Justin Nicolino pitched to the mien, allowing three runs on six hits in five innings during which he walked none and struck out four. Jeff (4.50 ERA) Locke went the distance for the Bucs, allowing no runs on three hits and making the Feesh look like fingerlings.

Then Jar Jar baseball went to his boolpen and, well…Jose Urena got shelled yet again for four runs and Edwin Jackson got shelled yet again for three more in their anguished combined four innings of “relief.” You have to think that Urena is nowhere near ready for prime time and will shortly be headed back to Nawlins to learn how to throw a ball past a batter,  and Jackson, well, that’s what Feesh fans get when the orfseason is swarming with competent free agents but the front orifice follows their leader and shells out pennies on the dollar for a proven mediocrity. Ah well, he’s giving them innings, even if they’re disastrous ones.

The wimp wandsmen scratched out three hits and no runs for a final, humiliating (seems I’ve used that word a lot lately) 10-0 score. I think it’s time to rekindle the debate about euthanizing baseball games that are too painful to watch anymore.

The strange attractor will return tomorrow to greet the 26-25 fourth place Feesh.



4 thoughts on “Feesh Filleted in Funny Hats

    • The only thing the Feesh are “mashing” these days is spud. Spud, as in potatoes, not the bratty, loudmouthed little mophead-like dog next door.

      The Iron Giant is supposed to play during the Pirate series, but he didn’t participate in yesterday’s debacle. Word filtering out of Macondo Banana Massacre Field (ie, rumors fabricated by local spawrts tork raydeeo hoists which might be true coincidentally, like the capture of the resistance agents in Sartre’s The Wall) asserts that he was hurt more seriously in his outfield collision with Marcell Ozuna a couple of weeks ago but hid the seriousness of his injury, which resulted in his horrific slump. Ah well. Apparently he made a throw last week which re-aggravated it and he finally admitted he needed to rest it – perhaps his right side lats.

      Macho is a beautiful thing, isn’t it, scoreboard watchers?


      • “Macho is a beautiful thing, isn’t it…”

        Indeed it is… Donald Trump has made a career out of it… as well as lying, pandering and claiming the “leftist media” and Mexican judges are out to get him.


        • Meh. Leftist media is played out. Mexican judges, though…hell, I chased one out from under my bed just the other day, shedding laundered cartel five dollar bills as he dove out the window.


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