Cubs 6-Phillies 2. Grandpa hits #100!!! Old people are the bestest.
None of you can do this, I would bet money on it.
Yankees 4-Rays 1. Old people carry the day again! A-rod and Beltran are already receiving AARP bulletins, yet they managed to do this:
Cardinals 6-Nationals 2. Piscotty, 25 years old, hit a grand slam. The youngsters are alright too.
Born to be wild! I want to adopt these children.
Blue Jays 7-Red Sox 5. And some of us just defy science.
Orioles 6-Indians 4. Trumbo with the AL Leading 15th homer. I guess what I’m really trying to say is…
Mets 6-Dodgers 5. Granderson! Old folks were representing last night!
I want to adopt her too! Be my grandma!
Braves 4-Marlins 2. Really? My team can’t figure out how to beat the Marlins, but the Barves can? Markakis got the go-ahead runs. He is older than 30. A really stupid generation once said, “Never trust anyone over 30.” Actually, they were right about themselves. Total sell-outs to their ideals. My generation–our ideal is slacking and not really giving a damn. We never sold out.
Babies, all of them!
Brewers 9-Reds 5. Joey Votto hit HR #199. 32? He’s old!
Royals 7-White Sox 5. Youngster Eric Hosmer saves the day.
Rockies 5-Giants 2. Chatwood is very dominant.
Tigers 4-A’s 1. Top prospect Fulmer flusters Athletics.
I just asked Sassy Pants. Wanna go skydiving? “YES!!!!” Okay. We’re going skydiving. I am terrified of heights, but I will do it.
Angels 7-Astros 2. Pujols is geriatric and yet he still managed to do this, hit his 570th HR:
Twins 7-Mariners 2. Pat Dean with his first MLB win yesterday. I went after pitcher wins pretty hard the other day, but I know that this probably meant a lot to Dean. I still respect tradition. Well done, young one.