So, What Did Miss? Everything! (5/23/16)

I missed absolutely everything Sunday. I did see baseball: minor league baseball. I went to brunch with my mini-me, a friend, and her beautiful 18 year old daughter at Brighthouse Field and saw the Clearwater Threshers play the Palm Beach Cardinals. The Cardinals won 5-1. My friend’s daughter is a tall, thin, blonde, a trained dancer even prettier inside than on the outside.


I was trying to convince her to go lie down and tan next to the bullpen on the berm to see all those young guys lose their minds, lol. Yes, I am terrible. Finally, I got her to walk around towards the end of the game. She realized the layout of the stadium. “You can just lie down there and catch sun and watch them warm-up?” Ayup. 🙂 Next time.

I made a nice catch! Some kids lost their tennis ball over the fence into centerfield. I asked the Threshers’ centerfielder who I am certain was about 9 years old (it says here he is 20 years old) if he could please toss the ball back. He said, “Sure!” The throw was offline (not a good sign Phillies phans), and I did a little Kevin Kiermaier leap  to my right and caught it on a slanted berm. A dad said, “Nice catch.” If there is one thing I can track, it’s a tennis ball–Bronx Champs 1988, yo, first doubles. In a dress, no less! Eff you, Gibbons! I can catch and throw in a dress. The kids thanked me. They were nice.

Zach Green, the Threshers’ first baseman, his walk-up music game was strong. He didn’t do much offensively, but great choice in music, kid.

This is one of those songs that gives me goosebumps, a good vibrations song. Sam Fuld uses it too, so it has a great pedigree.

Another really cool thing happened when I went into the Threshers store. Normally in parks like this, all you will find is Threshers gear and the gear of the affiliate–Phillies. I saw something odd: a small section of Rays things. I said to the lady that work there, “I am so impressed. I have never seen any place sell gear of another team like this. I travel to a lot of parks. Not one.” She said, “It’s the first year the manager is trying this.” I said, “I really appreciate you guys showing support for the local major league team. That’s fantastic.” She said she would tell her manager. I bought the Rays Spring Training shirt. I told her I want a Threshers t-shirt but I can’t buy Phillies gear. She said smilling, “You know the Threshers are Baby Phillies?” I laughed and said, “Maybe they’ll get lucky and get traded?” 😉

It was so weird being in a stadium so empty. Shut up. Even the Trop isn’t this empty. And we have a good excuse. It’s out of the way, ugly, and more money. This was cheap! All you can eat for $16? Great seats. You don’t have to do the brunch. Way cheaper tix available. I was stunned at how few people were there. The facility is stunning. There was a nice breeze and shade. People, where are you?

My mini-me wanted to see the Angry Birds movie after the game. Oh, what the heck? Off to the theater. My favorite one is not a giant multi-plex with the crazy sound effects etc. It’s a really cool, kinda dingy place with tables, serves food, wine etc. Let’s go to the movies! It was 5 minutes from the ballpark. The movie is not high art, but it’s really cute. If you are a 10 year old at heart, and you have played way too much Angry Birds at some point of your life (guilty), you’ll enjoy it. “Ever heard of bird control?” was said to a family with many, many birds. It was a little risque for a kid’s movie, which I liked.

This song was featured in the movie:

I downloaded it after the movie (Amazon Prime FTW) and she and I sang the “woo woo, that’s the sound of da police” all the way to the mall. The kid did fantastic on some reading scores. I wanted to reward her hard work. Her favorite toy store was closed, but we found this nerd dream store:

She got herself a Beanie Boo and a Catwoman figurine. She loves her cats. I got some Harley Quinn sunglasses. We came home, soaked in the semi-hot tub, and watched Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. No major league baseball. I took a hiatus. It was all about the kid.

Here are the scores.

Mets 3-Brewers 1

Mariners 5-Reds 4. Mariners sweep.

Tigers 9-Rays 4. Tigers are hot. Zimmerman hurt, Cabrera hurt. Archer pitching like he is hurt. He needs to have arm scanned STAT. Something wrong.

Nationals 8-Marlins 2. Scherzer dominant.

Phillies 5-Braves 0 

Red Sox 5-Cleveland 2. Papi had a big day.

White Sox 3- Royals 2. Retro uni!! ❤ ❤

Rangers 9-Astros 2. Another sweep.

Blue Jays 3-Twins 1. Stroman back to normal vs. the 11 win Twins.

D’backs 7-Cardinals 2. Donald looked good.

Angels 10-Orioles 2. Are you ok, @scoutsayweitersisabust?

Yankees 5-A’s 4. Yankees sweep. Are you ok, @clydeserra?

Giants 1-Cubs 0. I think this might be a post-season preview. A rare series loss for the Cubs. Are you ok, @longfootlefty?

Dodgers 5-Padres 4(17 Wtf?????????) I would have turned this one on if I knew it was happening. People, let me know these things. Sheesh. Kershaw pinch hit because they ran out of people so why not use your star ace?


Edit: Because it’s Monday, I listen to comedy. This is hilarious.


17 thoughts on “So, What Did Miss? Everything! (5/23/16)

  1. I was expecting the blowout loss. Ubaldo Jiminez sucks. He sucks so hard. He really sucks. Like sucks an egg sucks. And the team is going to keep trotting out this dumpster fire every 5 days because they simply have no other options and owe this sucky player 26.5 million.

    This month Jiminez has done the following:
    6 runs , 7 hits 4.2 innings vs. White Sox
    2 runs, 9 hits, 8 innings vs. Athletics
    5 runs, 9 hits, 5 innings vs. Tigers
    6 runs, 5 hits, 4.1 innings vs. Mariners
    6 runs, 8 hits, 5.2 innings vs. Angels

    His ERA now stands at 6.04 and that’s probably a bit better than he actually deserves. His WHIP is 1.78 and his FIP is 4.33

    He sucks.


  2. When I was a kid, Indy, I loved the shows and cartoons that threw out the occasional risque double-entendre (Daffy DUck was a frequent offender). It was like an IQ test for the precocious guys. And every kid likes feeling naughty. Just warming up for adulthood.

    Archer is a train wreck. I put out a pathetic plea on your thread yesterday. What’re we gonna do with Archer? And when is Snell coming up?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. The Jays/Twins game featured a bit of everything:

    • the long ball (Bautista and Donaldson led off the game with back-to-back dingers);
    • stellar defense (Donaldson x2 plus Pillar playing Superman again)
    • masterful pitching (Stroman went 7.2 innings of 3-hit 1-run ball)
    • the umpires making the game about themselves — AGAIN! (more on this below)
    • futility (Martin is still on the Schneid, Plouffe went 0-for-the-series)

    This series featured some very thin-skinned umps who love to overreact. Apparently Crew Chief Joe West has taught his boys well. It started on Saturday with the second batter of the game. Toby Basner had the plate and Donaldson was at bat. After a close pitch low was called a ball, the Twins dugout started chirping Basner, saying the ball wasn’t low. The next pitch was in the same spot and was called a strike, so JD stepped out and asked Basner to please not let the chirpers in the dugout determine his strike zone. A couple pitches later JD hit a routine grounder to third and didn’t bust it down the line (no need to) and the Twins dugout started ragging him on it so on his way back to the dugout he said something to them and Basner, thinking JD was barking at him, immediately tossed him. JD explained that he was talking to the Twins dugout but it was too late.

    Fast forward to Sunday afternoon, and JD was eager to make up for missing the previous game. He homered in his first at-bat, then made two spectacular defensive plays, one on the first Twin to bat on the first, another in the third.

    In the top of the fifth, Donaldson comes to bat again and Twins pitcher Phil Hughes throws one right at his hip, which JD avoids, then throws the second pitch even more blatantly at Donaldson, but it misses BEHIND him. The home plate ump (Mark Ripperger) didn’t issue a warning, didn’t eject Hughes (although the rules clearly allow him to, as there was obvious intent) and when JD said “Hey, what’s up with that?”, looked ready to eject HIM. JD just walked away to avoid the hook and John Gibbons came out to calmly ask Ripperger why he wasn’t doing anything about two very blatant attempts to hit his guy. That’s when Joe West came waddling in from first base and immediately tossed Gibby… then essentially proceeded to play the aggressor all the way back to the Jays’ dugout. Essentially Joe West being Joe West, which is to say an asshole who likes to make himself part of the game.

    Hopefully we don’t get the great Angel Hernandez in New York starting on Tuesday.

    And for the obligatory song, here’s one for Pillar:

    First the catch…

    And the song…

    Liked by 2 people

  4. So me and the dog Bobo took in the Conch game Sunday on TV as the Rays and the struggling Green Archer melted in the heat 9-4 to the Los Tigres.
    The ZimMaster was moving through the Conch order nicely until the 5th inning when his throwing motion existentially caused a pulled left groin muscle. Zim told the trainer when he came out: “All the wrong parts of me are stiff.”
    Even though JZim is an opposing player, I immediately suffered sympathy pains in my groin. Yikes, I limped around for most of the remaining day with a short lived litmus of hope the Conch would prevail in the game. Alas it was not to be.
    I went on to flip through a couple of channels and view the Miami Pink Flamingo’s game against the WashNats. Listening to the Flamingo’s TV announcers and I believe it was Cal Pavano, the Miami color man whom uttered this bon mot about a Marlin pitchers ability to throw a baseball. Carl stated: “His pitch can travel on two planes.”
    This proclamation caught my attention. I wondered is this a transportation problem or a physics declaration? Hmmm. So once again I called down to the boys in the physics lab for an explanation of this statement. I repeated the question to my lead scientist who in turn repeated to his assembled colleagues for discussion. I heard lots of laughter in the background. I was then told not to call back again and hung up on. I guess it was a transportation problem after all.
    The Conch play the Pink Flamingos in a two game home and home series starting tonight at the World Famous Tropicana Stadium.
    Perhaps you can join me on the catwalk tonight?
    This report brought to you by Miguel Cabrera’s Glenfiddich moment.
    Walking on Sunshine and living the Salt Life, I remain yer,
    Humble savant,

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Not much of note to report from the Nats’ trip to Miami this weekend, other than it appears that Ben Revere is finally waking from his slumber, as is Anthony Rendon.

    The Nats have somehow managed to parlay a middle of the road offense (seriously, their offense is 8th in the NL in every statistical category that matters, and even some that don’t) into first place in the NL East, with a +56 run differential (second in the NL) and a 27-17 record that is two games worse than their win expectancy.

    Tonight, they welcome the Mets for three, followed by the Cardinals for four. The Nats will miss Syndergaard this time around, drawing Colon, Harvey (maybe), and Matz. The weather here is finally expected to be warm (it was mid-50s and raining this weekend), so maybe the offense will get untracked this week and give the pitching staff some breathing room.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Even though the Tigers lost two of three to the Twins over the weekend, they’re still 23-14. Wow.

    We’ll see if they keep it up, but if you look at both the everyday lineup and the starting pitching you’d have to think they will. Infield: solid power from Cash, McCaulife me and my friends love to imitate his cool batting stance, Olyer good glove bad bat, Wert a poor man’s Brooks Robinson, Freehan a poor man’s Yogi Berra. Outfield: Horton solid power, Stanly Northrup platoon -solid and versatile, in right AL KALINE. Bench – looks like Gates Brown is going to have the season of his life.

    Pitching: Earl Wilson (the best hitting pitcher in baseball BTW), Mickey Lolich, and Denny McClain. I got the feeling that he might accomplish something this year that might never be achieved again.

    Gotta go do my paper route. I’ll get to see my friend who also has a paper route and picks his papers up at the same corner I do. He’s the guy who will go on to become captain of a Nimintz class aircraft carrier, who like me I’m pretty sure is growing up wondering what the fuck is wrong with him.

    Denny McClain for president!


  7. The Astros need to have this tattoo’ed on the backs of their necks:

    “Property of the Texas Rangers”

    It’s sad. Underachievers of the year for 2016.


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