You Know My Birthday Is Coming Up Right?

I really, really, really, really want one of these.


colon bobblehead


You can pre-order here.  At $39.99 it’s actually incredibly reasonable considering how sweet this bad boy is.

Colon himself is at the end of his majestic swing, looking toward the sky at his home run ball with a Bartolo-ish half-smile on his face. But these next details are what really turns this bobblehead from “that’s nice” to “I MUST OWN THIS IMMEDIATELY.” Of course, the head bobbles, though sadly it doesn’t seem like the helmet comes off. But the mock-up indicates that the head isn’t the only thing that will bobble. Colon’s stomach also bobbles!

You can see from the image that it’s not meant to mock Colon. While most of the little statue isn’t grounded in reality, Colon’s stomach isn’t grossly exaggerated. However, it’s important to remember that the picture isn’t of the actual bobblehead. It’s just in pre-order right now, so the image is just a mock-up of the final product. Hopefully the finished bobblehead will include the bobbling stomach, but in the tasteful and fun way that’s indicated in the picture.

I don’t ask for much in this world.  But this bobblehead MUST BE MINE!

16 thoughts on “You Know My Birthday Is Coming Up Right?

    1. OK, Historio… WTF is with Oklahoma? Something in the water? Mere hours after Gov. Mary Fallin rightly vetoes the insane anti-abortion bill we discussed yesterday, they double down on stupidity…

      “A group of Republican Oklahoma lawmakers introduced a resolution Thursday urging the state’s congressional delegation to start an effort to impeach President Obama over the White House’s directive to allow transgender students to use the bathroom of their gender identity…

      …Reuters reported the bill introduced in Oklahoma calls on the state’s members of the House of Representatives to file articles of impeachment against Obama, Attorney General Loretta Lynch, Secretary of Education John B. King and several others…”

      This last paragraph is the one that says it all, though:

      “John Bennett, a Republican state representative, said in a statement that the White House’s policy on transgender bathroom usage was “biblically wrong,” and a violation of state sovereignty.”

      What part of “separation of church and state” do these neanderthals not comprehend?


      1. All parts. In their defense, it is mostly because they don’t want to understand or agree with the policy, they would prefer to have a theocracy and see no problem trying to force everyone to live by their values. Of course, this has been true throughout all of recorded civilization (i.e. those in power thinking that everyone should conform to their whim), so this doesn’t make OK “lawmakers” unique at all.


        1. Wait till all of those male Republican legislators find out adultery is a capital offense. They will be off the theocracy bandwagon so fast your head’ll spin.


        2. Nope. That’s the great thing about being theocrats in power, you get to pick and choose which rules everyone has to obey AND who obeys them.


      2. Paper is right; the theocrats have taken over and they don’t mind forcing compliance. The Democrats who ruled before them were racist and corrupt but they were practical at least.


  1. For that kind of money, I can order four courses of succulent, corpulent boliche with rice, black beans and tostones at my local cafe Cubano and look like Bartolo myself in just one gluttonous sitting.


  2. For $39.99 you can also buy an Electronic Chewbacca Mask that speaks actual Wookie on your command, but I cannot guarantee you’ll enjoy it as much as this woman enjoyed hers.


      1. One of my friends’ birthday is Dec 31st, so until she had kids, we had a big blowout at her house every year. That was super convenient. No drinking and driving.


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