I dare say by sweeping the Blue Jays and fixing their negative run differential in one series (+17), the Tampa Bay Rays punched Toronto harder than Odor and the Rangers did. I expect 8 game suspensions for the Rays forthcoming because that’s how it works right? No one touches the little birds. They are delicate although Joey B (B for Bitch Face–I teach the alphabet a little differently than most. A is for Asshole, B is for Bitch face, C is for Cunning) can take a good punch. Ah, lack of sleep and a migraine have made me punch drunk. Rays 6-Jays 3. It never felt close, even when it was 0-0.
I love the following. This is why I am going to miss Scully so much when he retires. His team, the Dodgers, was about to get destroyed by their American League rivals, the Angels. Trout went 3 for 4. Is he bitter or angry after Trout unloads his first homer? Did he throw shade? Is he hateful or negative? You should know better than that. Of course not. Nothing but praise. This is why Scully is the best and if you lack appreciation for either of these men, I just don’t know about you. Why do you hate life? LAA 8-LAD 1.
It’s all anyone really wants, right?
I am really bad at this witchcraft thing. A’s 8-Rangers 1. I think I may have blessed the A’s, crap. How do you undo spells? You should really read the whole book. I never read the instructions. I just lit the candle. Ai ai ai. Valencia keeps hitting and Rich Hill was supposed to be terrible this start, no, no, no. Valencia is supposed to have an itchy jock strap! Worst witch ever.
Aw,the Braves won. Cute. Braves 3-Pirates 1. I see firing Fredi is already paying off. They are going to start hitting home runs now, I know it. Fredi is a known home run suppressor. They give him the worst team, and then they pay him by firing him. Wow, what great management. They did him a favor. You want Titanic; there’s your Titanic. I am not posting a Celine Dion link. My god, she is the worst hold music that makes me want to punch the phone.
Phew. That’s better.
Okay, I gotta try to get a little sleep. I have been under the weather. You know the routine. you guys could do this for me. Hmmmm… I need a sub. Any volunteers? I need a tribute…
We’re crazy for love, crazy for cats. Get up shorty.
Qualifications: Must hate pitchers batting and love the Rays. 😉
Edit: Obviously, not baseball news, but sadness to report. Checking Twitter before sleep:
Rest in peace, innocents. I get so wrapped up sometimes in this game, I forget the world.
Sorry for the downer.
Celebrate this guy.
I can’t embed–I am on the iPad. Can someone fix it, please? This is fantastic.