So, What Did I Miss? (5/19/16)

I dare say by sweeping the Blue Jays and fixing their negative run differential in one series (+17), the Tampa Bay Rays punched Toronto harder than Odor and the Rangers did. I expect 8 game suspensions for the Rays forthcoming because that’s how it works right? No one touches the little birds. They are delicate although Joey B  (B for Bitch Face–I teach the alphabet a little differently than most. A is for Asshole, B is for Bitch face, C is for Cunning) can take a good punch. Ah, lack of sleep and a migraine have made me punch drunk. Rays 6-Jays 3. It never felt close, even when it was 0-0.

I love the following. This is why I am going to miss Scully so much when he retires. His team, the Dodgers, was about to get destroyed by their American League rivals, the Angels. Trout went 3 for 4. Is he bitter or angry after Trout unloads his first homer? Did he throw shade? Is he hateful or negative? You should know better than that. Of course not. Nothing but praise. This is why Scully is the best and if you lack appreciation for either of these men, I just don’t know about you. Why do you hate life? LAA 8-LAD 1.

It’s all anyone really wants, right?

I am really bad at this witchcraft thing. A’s 8-Rangers 1. I think I may have blessed the A’s, crap. How do you undo spells? You should really read the whole book. I never read the instructions. I just lit the candle. Ai ai ai. Valencia keeps hitting and Rich Hill was supposed to be terrible this start, no, no, no. Valencia is supposed to have an itchy jock strap! Worst witch ever.

Aw,the Braves won. Cute. Braves 3-Pirates 1. I see firing Fredi is already paying off. They are going to start hitting home runs now, I know it. Fredi is a known home run suppressor. They give him the worst team, and then they pay him by firing him. Wow, what great management. They did him a favor. You want Titanic; there’s your Titanic. I am not posting a Celine Dion link. My god, she is the worst hold music that makes me want to punch the phone.

Phew. That’s better.

So the Cubs beat the Brewers. Squeaked by them 2-1 in 13 innings. @professormaddog31 was at the game. Read about it here, people. Please.

Okay, I gotta try to get a little sleep. I have been under the weather. You know the routine. you guys could do this for me. Hmmmm… I need a sub. Any volunteers? I need a tribute…

We’re crazy for love, crazy for cats. Get up shorty.

Qualifications: Must hate pitchers batting and love the Rays. 😉

Edit: Obviously, not baseball news, but sadness to report. Checking Twitter before sleep:

Rest in peace, innocents. I get so wrapped up sometimes in this game, I forget the world.

2nd Edit:

Sorry for the downer.

Celebrate this guy.

I can’t embed–I am on the iPad. Can someone fix it, please? This is fantastic.




21 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? (5/19/16)

  1. Orioles got back on the horse and beat the Mariners 5-2. Trumbo (Who is now tied for the league lead in HR) and Wieters went back to back. The O’s have gone back to back 7 times this year. I don’t know what any other team has done, but I can’t imagine there’s been that many. That number is just insane to me. Thing is, the O’s haven’t even gotten warmed up yet.

    Key moment alert. 8th inning, bases loaded 1 out. Buck goes to the bullpen to get his closer Zach Britton. Most managers would have gotten their setup guy, or who ever they had as a match-up, saving their closer for the 9th inning that never would have happened. I can only imagine Matt Williams going into a seizure out of shock and confusion at whatever hotdog truck he’s working out of at the moment. “Wha…But…But…he’s your CLOSER??? Closers are for the 9th inning ONLY? Whaaaaaaaa…..”

    Zach stepped up big. Struck out the first guy, coaxed an easy grounder to second to get out of the inning. Then worked a fantastic 9th stranding a lead off double that took third on a wild pitch.

    Rubber game at 12:30 today before the Birds hop on a plane for Los Angeles. Discovered by the Germans in 1904. They named it Los Angeles. Which of course in German means a whale’s vagina.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nats beat the Mets 7-1, as the Nats took advantage of 11 walks and a couple of HBPs, along with stringing together a bloop here and a seeing-eye grounder there to actually score a few runs. Gio Gonzalez continues to impress, while Bartolo Colon pitched like he was worn out from his tater trot in San Diego a couple of weeks ago.

    The game was your basic middle of May weeknight affair, with nothing memorable except this:

    That’s Juan Lagares on the left, about to catch a fly ball off the bat of Daniel Murphy (deep enough to score a run on a sac fly, obviously). Other than that, the game was just meh.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. This whole playing to the level of the competition shit has to stop. The Cubs are a combined 11-2 against the Cardinals, Pirates, and Nationals….but a combined 3-5 against the Braves, Rockies and Padres. Da Fuq.

    They looked to be in very real danger of dropping another game to the Brewers last night before coming up with that extra inning win. The 12th inning looked particularly bleak, when an error and two walks loaded the bases with nobody out. Then Travis Wood made good things happen. Clayton Richard got the final out of the 13th in what I think might have been his first save at any level ever. All 25 men on the roster got into the game in some capacity, and the final game of the series starts about 12 hours after this one ended.

    Grandpa Rossy is having a hell of a final season, at least in relation to Ross himself. He’s already at 0.9 bWAR, and considering his career high is 2.0 back in ’09, there’s potential for his last year to be his best. He also seems like a pretty good bet to get his 100th HR and 300th RBI this year too, so that will be nice. And clearly his arm still works just fine.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Hal may not be his father, but throwing a half-dozen players under the bus yesterday probably evoked painful memories of the Bronx Zoo for some the older Yankee fans out there. Meanwhile in Arizona, things have been incredibly toxic for years now, through multiple managers and front offices, with the only constant being ownership. These two dysfunctional franchises faced off in the final matchup of their three-game set in the desert last night, with Eovaldi flashing the form that have long had scouts and execs expecting his breakout, allowing a fluke hit off the bag to lead off the game and then setting down eighteen in a row before turning things over to the Yanks’ vaunted back end of the bullpen. In honor of these two hot messes, an ode to dysfunctional relationships as only cheesy 80s films could tell it:


  5. Tony Kemp and Colin Moran had their first try at cracking the Astros’ lineup last night. Kemp, especially looked interesting – two hits, one walk, one run and an outfield assist. The Astros went on to dispatch the Pale Hose in a very 2015-like fashion. Maybe we are coming around to good play. The bus has already left the station for great play in 2016, but perhaps a step forward is still possible.

    And George Springer hit into a beautiful triple play. It was ironic in that the three fastest Astros runners were involved (Kemp, Altuve and Springer). But he just hit a bullet right to Frazier standing on third and the rest was history.


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