Desperate Days: Wimp Wanded Feesh Looking Forward to Return of Edwin Jackson

The Feesh have been treading water, or worse, lately, going 5-5 over their last ten games and muddling around in fourth place  which, along with four games ahead of the strange attractor and its recalcitrant gossamer reality waves, seems to be their collective glass ceiling.

Take tonight’s game, for example, when the Feesh struck out seventeen times, left a dozen on base, to backslide Weri Yin Chen’s quality six inning, two earned run, six strikeout performance and wind up fizzling 3-1. The wimp wanded Rainbow Warriors have stranded more runners on base than the Coast Guard has returned Cuban rafters lately. The Iron Giant, who was on a fearsome tear only a week ago, has returned to his awful habit of snapping like a rabid raccoon at those low and away sliders and has been striking out so often that even Don Quixote, long dead as he is, was seen sharpening his lance in preparation for a frontal assault. Clearly, they left their ash bats back at the hotel and brought their whiffle bats with them tonight.

Real Bats

Wiffle Bat

The Feesh find themselves stalled 1.5 games behind both the Mutts and Feelies and 2 games behind the Gnats, who have been on a schneid of their own since the Feesh left town. Kinda the way that doddering old fool Bernie Sanders finds himself stalled about 721 insurmountable delegates behind Hillary, who keeps inching towards her inevitable nomination even as Bernie becomes mired deeper in his narcissistic vaingloriousness  with every Pyrrhic win and his frustrated Angry White Adolescents turn increasingly thuggish and neofascist with Bernie’s blessing, as they did in Las Vegas yesterday, when they can’t get their way. It’s been interesting watching Bernie morph from the resurrection of Irving Howe to the reanimation of Sir Oswald Mosely.  I only mention this because it was all going on at the same time as this misbegotten ballgame and news flashes about it were crawling across the top and bottom of my screen as the Feesh sank back into their fourth place redoubt.

Things have gotten so bad that the good news  is that Edwin Jackson will be back on Friday. Happy happy joy joy.

The strange attractor, resurgent:


2 thoughts on “Desperate Days: Wimp Wanded Feesh Looking Forward to Return of Edwin Jackson

  1. I am amazed you would look forward to the return of EJ. Have you examined his stats, reviewed how many teams he has been with including the Conch? Why in Koresh’s name would yo think EJ would help the Pink Flamingos?
    “Edwin, lets talk about your record.”
    “My record, why do you want to talk about my record for? I done my time. How did I know she was 15, she looked 17 to me. Besides, I done my time.”
    “No no, EJ, your won-loss record!”
    OK, why didn’t you say so?*

    *Tip O’ the MadHatter to Cheech & Chong


    • Speaking of conch, I sense a road trip southward for some conch chowder with bird pepper sauce at Louie’s Backyard and then a mountainous slice of pie at Blue Sky shortly.


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