Oakland made a huge mistake last night. Yes, they won the game, the objective of our sport. DUH! I just have to help my boys out. Tonight, they are about to lose their ear drums and quite possibly, their minds. My mother is coming to the game with me. Our seats are right in front of the field, 1st base side, between the dugout and bullpen. You think I have a big mouth? The Fury is being unleashed. Use it in any context you want. My mother is the DC comic superhero, the Greek myth (Erinyes), all wrapped in one tiny Dominican package. She is a force of nature named after the greek god of vanity. Never has anyone been so aptly named. She is older now, but she still turns heads. Poor Oakland. I am really sorry. What did they do to earn this? Why they beat my team into submission! Homer after homer. It was brutal. Odorizzi normally owns the Trop but tonight, the A’s were relentless. I was watching this knowing I still needed to buy tickets. I thought, is that how you want to play it Oakland? Front row seats it is. Andriese (who?) is pitching for the Rays tonight. Put your money on him. There are people in the Dominican Republic who think she is a true witch. Very superstitious people. Oh, Oakland won, 6-3. Rich Hill. Let’s see how the rest of his season goes. You’re lucky the Lightning won or I would be in a really bad mood.
Louie Dog is so cute. The video was filmed after Bradley died.
Guess what? The Cubs won. I know. Shocker. Cubs 9-Pirates 4. I’m so happy! I want Pittsburgh miserable this weekend. You know what you need to do, Chicago. Tampa Bay will make sure Pittsburgh stays sad on the ice. You make sure they stay sad on the grass. Lest you think I’m evil, remember–these are Steelers fans. Fuck them. “We’re so much better than everyone! Oh, our quarterback is a rapist and we have a backup who murders dogs. Oh, yeah that other guy beats his girlfriend. But we have standards! And we wrap our babies in terrible towels at birth.” They are football’s version of the Cardinals, maybe worse. No mercy as John Kreese says.
I’m making shit up now: Rizzo, Bryant, Zobrist, Soler, Old Man Rossy and your momma all got hits for the Cubs yesterday. I don’t know this to be true, but why not? Let me check the actual recap…. I missed Fowler, Heyward, Russell, and Hammell. I told you your momma got a hit. Damn, I’m good. By the way, this is one of many things that makes the Cubs so dangerous. They destroy the teams in their division. They have to lose some games–they lost the right ones. To the Padres. Who cares? Brush it off. Don’t give away games, but the ones you lost–fugghedaboutit. Cubs fans are new to this winning thing.
Fucking, fighting, it’s all the same. Living with Louie dog is the only way to stay sane.
Now this story I love. It involves the Red Sox losing 7-6 to the Astros, but that is not why I love it. Or the only reason. George Springer of the Astros faced off against his old college roommate, Matt Barnes of U. Conn. Guess who won the battle? Guess! Guess!
Springer is a New England native who grew up a Red Sox fan so this was a HUGE moment for him. Nice job, kid.
Astros manager Hinch:
“This is a special moment for him just given playing here at Fenway,” Hinch said. “He was pretty excited. Obviously, it’s against his boy from college in a big spot, in a big game, and really gave us a lot of energy.”
I eat this stuff up.
I was wrong yesterday. The best pitcher in baseball is neither Kershaw or Arietta at the moment. It is Chris Sale. I am not saying best of all time or best over the past 3 years. I am saying the best so far in 2016. Chris Sale. I love running queries. His bWAR is 2.5. and he has to face real batters, not some stupid pitcher. How would you like facing Big Papi instead of some scrub pinch hitter or Bumgarner’s career oWAR of 3.1 (I picked MadBum because he is the mythology of the “good hitting pitcher”–oWAR of 3.1.. nice.) I think I would take my chances versus Bumgarner. Yesterday, Sale’s White Sox defeated the Yankees 7-1.
Nationals defeat the Marlins, 5-3. It looks like Bryce Harper needed to get some things off his chest to find his swing. Sometimes you gotta vent, you know? Or face a lousy pitcher, either way, whatever works.
I remember waking up in the middle of the night (sound familiar?) turning on the television and seeing this on the news. A great sadness washed over me as I saw the city burn. Yes, I was home watching on tv, while he was participating in some anarchy. This is a great song, probably their best.
Okay, I have a lot of crap to do today, so help a sister out, and write up what else happened in baseball. Mom is coming over and if I don’t pick up some of my mess, I’ll never hear the end of it. 🙂