So, What Did I Miss? (5/12/16)

We are a bunch of nerds here, I have noticed. I have keen observation skills. For my next trick, I will observe that the sky is blue and that water is wet. I am betting that we all share a love for this curly haired creative lunatic genius:

Nationals 3-Tigers 2. Max Scherzer operated like a surgeon on his old team, the Detroit Tigers. He mowed them down. There are 27 outs. Twenty of these outs came by K. 119 pitches, 96 were strikes, 0 walks. He had a really good night.

(Or my cat was prancing on my keyboard. If you ever see a comment like this: fhwkfkwff08///cls0d2. I did not have a mental breakdown. That was Crush saying hello.)

I highly encourage you to click this entertaining link:

Padres 7-Cubs 4. Padres 1 – Cubs 0. Okay, so about this. Yesterday, I posted how historically awesome the Cubs have been. I am not the only person on the internet to note how awesome the Cubs have been. Yet somehow, this is MY fault (@longfootlefty). The Cubs are now experiencing their longest skid of the season: TWO GAMES. Oh noooooooooo. I checked Baseball Prospectus and their post-season odds have gone from 99% to 10%. You blew it, guys. You could have gone all the way, but you lost two games in a row to the Padres, dropping you down to 25-8 for a winning percentage of .758. I don’t even know how this team can look at itself in the mirror tomorrow. A two game skid. Jesus, smdh.

Mariners 6-Rays 5. The Rays were swept in three games by Seattle. They’re not very good. I’m talking about both teams. The Rays were down at one point, 4-0. Archer crapped again. I thought the game was done. Dickerson hit a grand slam. 4-4. Mariners pulled ahead. 5-4. Kiermaier hits a homer in the 9th. 5-5. Feelin’ groovy. Extras. Mariners walk-off. Chris Ianetta hits a bomb in the 11th of Steve Geltz. This one hurt.

O’s 9-Twins 2. It occurred to me tonight that if the Mets are Team Captain America (David Wright), why the Orioles must be Team Iron Man (Cal Ripken Jr.)! Yes, I told you, I am a goddamned nerd. We don’t all look the same. Some of us are cute. 🙂

I actually preferred this 100: 1 to the original, and the original is fantastic too. You see me roll on my Segway, look at me, I’m white & nerdy. How’d I’d get so white & nerdy?…Only question I ever thought was hard, was do I like Kirk or do I like Picard? 

The Orioles did what they do best. Blast beaucoup bombs–5 total?

Red Sox 13-A’s 3. JBJ hit 2 homers and has a 17 game hitting streak. Not too shabby. Our brother team from the other bay had a bad not so bueno series also. They limp into Tampa Bay for a weekend series. I will go see them on Saturday. Both teams can’t lose but I am sure both will try their hardest. They commit crimes against baseball.

Giants 5-Blue Jays 4 (13). Another tough loss. The Jays battled back to force extras only to lose by walking Buster Posey with the bases loaded, oh god.

I want to hear again how the Cubs had a bad day! Tell me a story…

Well maple syrup and snow’s what they export
They treat curling just like it’s a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can’t understand a thing they’re talkin’ aboot

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of drivin’ a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan 😉

Braves 5-Phillies 1. The Braves won a game. This is big news. Okay, seriously. Williams Perez pitched a 2 hitter into the 8th and actually had a perfect game into the 5th. He was recalled after Chacin was traded to the Angels. Freeman hit a homer for the Braves, continuing to be their primary (sole) source for offense.

Rangers 6 -White Sox 5. The Rangers take the series. Frazier is hurt after diving in the stands to retrieve a ball. He made the catch.

He hit his mouth on the seat and is listed as day-to-day.

Astros 5 – Cleveland 3.(16) Wow, 16 innings. Marwin Gonzalez hits a 2 run walk-off homer.

Royals 7-Yankees 3. Ventura silences Yankees bats. I hope they use foil.

Rockies 8-D’backs 7. Arenado goes 3 for 4.

Pirates 5- Reds 4. The Bucs go boom, first 4 hits were homers.

Cardinals 5 – Angels 2. We should take this game as evidence of the National League’s superiority. (I hope this sarcasm font is working). Apparently, this young 2016 season should be seen as evidence that all those years of the AL beating up on the NL in interleague play was just an illusion.


No evidence here  AT ALL that the American League line-up might have a slight advantage. Nothing to see here. Move along.

You’re still here? Okay… shika shika.  Dum bom bom.

Old Gator has your Feesh recap. Professor took on the Mets and did a nice job. Metsies won 4-3. I think my work is done. Have fun! 😉

Go home. Go on now.

Ducks are assholes.

What the hell is this song about anyway? I still like it. Apparently, Cobain smells like a brand of antiperspirant for teenage girls. Uh, smelled. He probably doesn’t smell good now.

As a kid, this one was a particular favorite. “Oh, Lucy, I’m home!” 

You were not planning on working today, were you? 


29 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? (5/12/16)

  1. Before last night, every team to play at Turner Field this season had won at least two games there… except the Braves.


  2. The Orioles only had 4 homeruns yesterday. That compares to the Barves total of 8 this season. Fredi González was rumored to have called Buck Showalter to find out how to manage your team into more home-runs, since you know, it’s all Fredi’s fault the team is this bad and firing him will solve everything.


  3. Astros left eight men on base in the first three innings. In spite of the late inning heroics, unless they start getting some hitting out of positions 4 through 9, it’s going to be a bleak season.


  4. And the main song from his cinematic masterpiece, UHF…

    I seriously love UHF. I remember him saying in an interview or something about how sad it is that a high percentage of people from that movie are either dead or full-on crazy-pants.


  5. Living in extreme rural America, we had an large amish sect move in. They had asked the school district to bus sone kids to the Amish “school”. Our bus driving lady pretty much let us listen to whatever we wanted, it frankly kept us from getting to rowdy. Being that forgottonia had like 6 stations, 4 of which were country, and wanting to be cool we listened to the only pop station available. The dj for this station would from time to time take requests, and God bless the caller that asked and received amish paradise. The amish kids had to set away from us non believers, but we still watched the hilarity that was their faces as they realized what the song was about.

    In addition too this fine weird Al tale, in Jr High we used to have a Christmas. ..errrrr Holiday lip sync battle. Some how we got the teachers to approve the night santa went crazy. I’ll just leave that there, we did win though.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Great Moments in Sports Writing, Everyone Gets A Trophy Edition…

    Last night’s game lived up to its hype, as Scherzer and Zimmermann delivered the pitchers’ duel everyone expected, combining for 23 strikeouts between them. In the end, the Nats were just a little better, managing to plate three runs to overcome the Tigers’ two (both coming on solo home runs) and the Nats took the series, two games to one.

    Aw, who am I kidding? MaXX Scherzer was as dominant as the statistics show, 20 strikeouts versus 23 balls total, and there’s not much else to say here. Zimmermann was good in his return to DC, and the fans gave him a nice standing ovation during his first plate appearance, but it was Scherzer’s night, and everyone else was just along for the ride.

    In other news, Harper got a one-game suspension, but appealed it; can’t not play on your own bobblehead night. My guess is that he drops his appeal after Friday’s game and sits out the day part of the day/night twinbill with the Feesh on Saturday, but that’s just a guess. He deserves the punishment he got, so he should just take it and move on.


  7. LOL someone is hurt because the awesome power of the AL lineup got questioned. I will point out that your table doesn’t split how many games were played according to NL rules and how many games were played according to AL rules. It also doesn’t distinguish between strength of schedules. It also doesn’t take into account the fact that teams may run hot or cold at various points in the season. The New York Mets were not the same team last year at the beginning of the season vs the second half after they got Cespedes and their other hitters stepped up.

    The AL quite simply and consistently has had better teams overall than the NL for much of Interleague play history. No need to invoke the AL unicorn to explain it.


      • I’m just teasing Sally. You are right on one thing though, for the last decade or so the AL has indeed ruled while the NL has drooled but that’s because the balance of bad teams has been higher in the NL has than the AL.

        Also you’re cheating. All the shitty Astros seasons have been in the NL recently, they started getting good and then they went to the AL. That’s not fair.

        Here’s another way to prove it: look at the win percentages for interleague for individual teams and compare against their overall record. It the AL Lineup were real you would find a consistent higher winning percentage for all AL teams in interleague than their overall record. You don’t. In fact the Blue Jays have done worse in Interleague vs their overall record. Baltimore is the same. Naturally some teams have done very well against the NL than overall just as in the NL for some teams the reverse has been true. But it isn’t consistent. The “Empire” has a .600 win percentage against everybody both the NL and overall. Some NL teams in fact have done BETTER against the AL than in their overall record.

        You have no case my dear. But keep holdin’ on to your unicorn. My daughter does, it lets her sleep better at night 😉


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