I need to sleep this morning. Please recap yourselves.
I sleep in late, another day, it’s a Monday, it’s so mundane
My team, the Rays, swept the Halos, 3-1. Above .500 for the first time. We’re coming for you, Boston. Finally, everything is clicking. And don’t forget, we have Alex Cobb and Brad Boxberger returning. This team will get better. I am very pleased. Edit: I hope they didn’t leave their wallets in El Segundo.
Boston sweeps the Yankees, 4-0. Thanks for nothing, Empire. Edit: I was literally half sleeping when I wrote that, rofl. Ah, wishful thinking. Apparently, you don’t need drugs to be high. Just no sleep. The Boston did win, 5-1, but the Yankees took the first two games. Thank you guys for pointing that out and thank you, Empire. So blogging at 0330 is not wise…
Crimes against fashion and humanity committed. For some reason, the pink was especially ugly against the Yankees white and pinstripes. It didn’t look as bad with gray. And seriously, baseball, can we find another way to raise awareness for breast cancer, a fantastic cause, that doesn’t cause damage to our retinas? Enough with that ugly shade of pink. Why did breast cancer get stuck pink?
“Pink is the quintessential female color,” says Margaret Welch, director of the Color Association of the United States. “The profile on pink is playful, life-affirming. We have studies as to its calming effect, its quieting effect, its lessening of stress. [Pastel pink] is a shade known to be health-giving; that’s why we have expressions like ‘in the pink.’ You can’t say a bad thing about it.” Pink is, in other words, everything cancer notably is not.
That is jarring.
Reinforcements also arrive for the New York Yankees. Aroldis Chapmas is eligible to return today.
The Cubs destroy the universe with a 4 game sweep of an actual good team, the Nationals, 4-3 in 13 innings. They disarmed the Harper.
“Wow, he’s a really good walker.” I cracked up laughing… very cute. He does have an excellent BB rate but I doubt any Cubs fan was thinking that. I am guessing Cubs fan thoughts ran more along the lines of: “My team won’t pitch to Harper.” “I have to piss, so much beer.” “Wow, we are so awesome this year.” “More beer.” “Oh, wow, s/he’s is really cute.” “Beer.” Oh, that’s just my inner monologue? Never mind.
This is hilarious. As your Arbiter of Humor, I leave you with a laugh. Mondays suck. Laughter makes it easier. I am totally shallow. All my friends are completely hot, even my Skype friends. I screen them that way.
At least that’s what the guy peeing on me told me… rofl.
Yes, I used the word “slutty.” The right of social inclusion. Kind of how I can call my mother a crazy bitch because she is, but if you were to call her that, we would have had a few words. You can’t say that. Why we can’t say the ‘n’ word, but a brother and a sister can.
So, I have missed a lot… fill me in.