Horsemeat and Velveeta versus Pan con Lechon: Your Feesh Recap for May 6

It was a gorgeous night for baseball at Macondo Banana Massacre Field in reluctantly gentrifying upper Little Havana. Slight breeze, temperature in the mid 70s (this is known as un frente frio here in the tropics). I made a point of scoring an arepa

and some pinchos


and a bottle of water


from the agradable independant cart vendors out on 14th Avenue

in preference to paying three times as much for the same things inside and gratuitously lining Scrooge McLoria’s pockets any more than necessary. I shoved the bottle of water in my back pocket under my loose fitting “I’ll Believe Corporations are People when Texas Executes One” T-shirt and smuggled it past the ticket mangler, who didn’t look much like she’d give a damn anyway since McLoria surely doesn’t pay anyone enough to buy their loyalty, and refilled it twice from the water fountains inside by the time the game had ended. Cheepskate is as cheapskate does, right, Scrooge?

The stadium’s lid was peeled back and the stars shone down auspiciously on the Rainbow Warriors who spanked the Feelies feenom Vince Velasquez and his, uh, successor (ironic term, no?) 6-4 in a classic back and forth contest that ended with the Iron Giant obliviating an errant changeup from  Hector Neris and propelling it at 113 MPH at a shallow 22 degree angle, the deformed pill taking a mere 5.5 seconds to travel to the third tier catwalk well behind Tommy, 475 feet away despite its problematic properties of air resistance. Maybe the flattened side stayed down?

I should mention that I’ve been privy to some of the Iron Giant’s most impressive shots down here, including that classic laser beam that broke the left field scoreboard a coupler of years ago. Every time he steps to the plate there’s an alteration in the background radiation. Anyway, it was number 10 for the Giant, who is rapidly climbing over the pretenders to the MLB Dinger Throne, and made a winner out of Kyle Barraclough (2-0) in relief of a shaky Wei-Yin Chen.  The Feelies have been cruising on their pitching of late, coming into last night’s game having batted a wretched .164 as a team in their previous serious, but Chen let them come back at him to the tune of 4 runs before Jar Jar Baseball yanked him for Breslow in the 6th. The boolpen, which was execrable during the firsr few weeks of April, has been lights out (except for that one debacle in Milwaukee) since the Rainbow Warriors embarked on their sunset side road trip a couple of weeks ago.

Speaking of which, Christian Yelich also crushed one of Velasquez’ wild-in-the-zone heaters to the tune of 451 feet in the first inning to stake the Feesh to a 2-0 lead. Yelich, never known for a basher before, has been on a power trip alla sudden, what with three tape measure shots in his past five games.Martin Prado, who has been hot as a deep ocean vent all season, also drove in a run with a base hit in the second.

The Feesh are now firmly ensconced in their place in the NL East at 16-12, having won eleven of their last twelve games, just a game behind the Mutts who lost to the Monks last night (shame!). I fear they’re gonna hit a speed bump tonight when they send Tom Koehler, who has been awful of late, to the mound.

Not much left of the strange attractor, which dissipates at five over. As you can see, its internal instability is trending to dissolution. It will need Koehler to be crummy tonight to keep from degenerating into mere hypothemia:










3 thoughts on “Horsemeat and Velveeta versus Pan con Lechon: Your Feesh Recap for May 6

  1. These pictures of food have made me extraordinarily hungry. Not nice. I am a fan of both horsemeat and a good cubanito… oh, which to have for lunch? I am fortunate enough to have DelCo, a cheesesteak shop owned by real Philadelphians in Dunedin. They ship their buns from Philly. And you know, you only have to trip to find a good Cuban in Tampa Bay… what to do, what to do?


    • Ah, that requires some clarification. “Arepa” has a somewhat wider application in Venezuela and Colombia, where the bread part of it can be white flour or corn, like a puffy tortilla, and they are used to make all kinds of overstuffed sandwiches. I’ve enjoyed on several occasions wending my way along the rail at arepa bars in Caracas while the cooks filled my arepa with meats, cheeses and vegetables upon all of which I pigged out with a smile so wide that it cracked my tusks on both sides of my face. There are some restaurants here in Macondo that proffer Venzeocolombian style arepas, too, but you can’t find them on the carretitas out back of the stadium.

      The tipical Cuban-American arepa, on the other hand, is just as you see it: two sweet corn cakes (yeah, not bread so much as cakes) filled with melted white cheese. I’ve gotten into the habit of heating them in the microwave, peeling them apart and adding a mixture of scrambled eggs, diced green and red peppers, chorizo and more white cheese and then squeezing them back together for breakfast – a sort of huevos pericos on corn cakes.


Join in on the conversation!

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s