I survived! Sorry, you have to deal with me for a little while longer. No cancer either.
Colonoscopies save lives. Please get your screenings. The prep is horrible but oh the drugs…
The drugs pretty much wrecked me. Propofol, the primary drug used, is called “milk of amnesia” so I can’t remember everything I did, just that I was very giddy and excited. I sexually harassed my coworker, friend, and nurse by grabbing her breast, which made her laugh and my doctor blush a deep scarlet. “When I do that, I get sent to HR,” he quipped. I immediately apologized–the drugs. If you think I am insane sober, get me drunk. I also confessed to some true stuff. It is truth serum. Your true nature comes out under this stuff. Another drug I was given, midazolam, is used by unscrupulous governments to elicit confessions. Do not worry. Your nurse will not take advantage of you in your state. Heh, much.
My confessions were nothing awful–I am the drunk at the party who LOVES everybody. “You my very best friend and you arrre bootiful, and don’t e’er let anyone tell you different, and oh, I love this song, les’ (sic) dance!!”
And I know she’ll be the death of me, at least we’ll both be numb… She told me, “Don’t worry about it…” She told me, “Don’t worry no more…” He’s not singing about a woman.
Giancarlo Stanton seems to be feeling his face just fine in Los Angeles. No residual effects of his horrible accident. Oh, I’m sorry, that was a terrible segue way, but it worked, didn’t it? Anyhow, the SoCal boy made himself right at home. Uh, Clayton Kershaw, who? He lead the charge against Kershaw in the 6th inning, who up to that point was pitching a one-hit shut-out.
Normally, in this situation–Dodgers vs. Marlins, I am on Team DodgerĀ because I don’t like rewarding Loria and mismanaged organizations. Seriously, eff Loria with a colonoscope and no anesthesia. But, damn. On a human level, I love Stanton as a player. #FreeStantonJoseFernandezDeeGordon. That’s a mighty long hashtag.
Who doesn’t love this? You don’t? When did you start hating life? I’m a huge Kershaw fan too. My primary impetus for buying MLB.tv for the first time was Vin Scully and Kershaw. But that was beautiful. How is Stanton not a Dodger? The Marlins with the stunning victory, 6-3. While I am looking forward to Old Gator’s dystopian surrealistic take, I just wanted to give a recap version in which you understood the Marlins actually won the game. š
Oakland defeats Detroit, 5-1, on the strength of Rich Hill’s pitching performance.
This song actually makes me feel high. Its fantastic, but I can’t listen to it and write. I feel lightheaded.
The Tigers have had trouble with left handed pitching this year.
Oh, goodness. I was going lay my head down to sleep a bit and I overslept completely.
I am so sorry. Write your own recaps this morning, darlings. š I have 20 minutes to shower and get to work, lol!
So let’s hold off on that Severino for CYA campaign, yeah?
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That said, fuck you Andrew Marchand: http://espn.go.com/blog/new-york/yankees/post/_/id/92121/yankees-luis-severino-failing-to-meet-expectations
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Phillies 4, Nationals 3.
Max Scherzer still doesn’t quite have command of his pitches; he started this game off by yielding a four pitch walk and then a home run, and struggled through 6 innings on 116 pitches. He’s already walked 12 batters this year in five starts, which is about a third of the total that he walked last year. He’s not been terrible, but instead has been a perfectly serviceable third or fourth starter; however, that’s not the expectation with him.
Despite Scherzer’s struggles, the Nats found themselves in position to play a version of the Mudville nine last night. They entered the bottom of the ninth down a run, and knowing that if only Casey could but get a whack at that, they’d have a chance. Anthony Rendon did his Flynn impersonation with a two out single, and up stepped Casey himself, in the form of Bryce Harper. Harper had been the recipient of the Bonds treatment during the rest of the game, with three walks (two intentional) to go with a single, but this time the Phillies decided to pitch to him. He worked an eight pitch at-bat, fouling back a couple that he might’ve squared up, and then finally grounded out to third, so no joy in Mudville.
Speaking of Harper, there’s an article in the Washington Post today that ought to give us Nats’ fans serious concern when we consider what uniform Harper will be wearing come 2019. The article’s about the Lerner family, their willingness to spend money, and how it’s currently affecting Mike Rizzo, the Nats’ GM. Rizzo’s contract has a two-year option for 2017 and 2018, and it must be picked up by June 15 of this year. Now, keeping in mind that Rizzo has had a hand in acquiring every player currently in the Nats organization except for Ryan Zimmerman, and that since 2012, only the Cardinals have won more games than the Nats, you’d think it’d be an easy decision, right? Maybe you even talk extension beyond 2018, yes? Instead, Rizzo says no one’s talked to him yet about his contract, and while everyone expects his option to be picked up, there’s no guarantee that it’ll happen, and none of the Lerners would comment.
This family’s done great things to bring baseball back to DC, and I know rich people stay rich by not spending a nickel they don’t have to spend, but it’s stuff like this, and the Bud Black contract botch (even though I’m happy with Dusty), and even small nickel and dime stuff (the article mentions an unwillingness to purchase multiple stop watches for scouts) that makes me wonder if they’re right for the sport.
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Future Yankee Bryce Harper. š
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I was talking to a friend of mine this weekend about Harper’s next contract. We’re both Nats’ fans, and we recognize that he may leave town; we just hope that the Nats put forth a competitive offer. I mean, we don’t want to see him leave town for, say, 15 years at $500 million while the Nats only offer 10/$250M or something. If the Nats offer somewhere north of $400M in total value and he still leaves, well, they tried.
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If the Phillies were smart, they would totally cock block you.
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Did Bryce Harper grow up a Phillies fan? I don’t think so.
They could have cock-blocked on Trout if the Angels hadn’t managed to lock him up.
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Another pathetic display by the Orioles who went from top team in the league to about to be swept badly by the Rays. The past three games have seen the O’s vaunted offense put up a total of two fucking runs. Outside of a game against KC where KC gifted us 6 -7 runs, we haven’t scored more than 3 in almost a week. The pitching is actually doing their jobs, it’s the offense that’s failing.
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there is a miguel Cabrera strike out that is odd, in the tigers-A’s game for DYST.
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Give some credit. Rays pitching. We have arms.
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You certainly have arms. It’s just so frustrating to watch your team leave 2-3 men on base multiple innings in a row.
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rich hill has been something. One bad start, the one where he didn’t know he was starting until 8 AM that day. The bullpen is on point.
Somehow I think maybe David Forst, the new Oaklands GM, may know a thing or 2. It’s early, but something to watch. Also, Henderson Alvarez was hitting 94 on his minor league rehab start. 40 or so pitches.
Also, Billy butler is riding the pine. A very good sign. It looks like Forst is trying to fix the mistakes of Beane’s last off season as GM.
And for out little outpatient:
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Ackcherley, speaking of bombs poor Claymore Kershaw had allowed only one hit entering the debacular seexth and already been smacked around for hits by Gordon, Yelich and Prado plus a couple of runs when the Iron Giant lumbered to the plate. What I really loved, aside from that classic Gravity’s Rainbow to dead center, was the way Kershaw dropped to his haunches and hung his head the second he heard that rifle crack of the bat crushing his pitch. He looked like he was going to take an involuntary dump on the mound. The Iron Giant, who had been pickled in a millennial slumber not unlike when dead Chthulhu lay dreaming, seems to have been awakened. Home cooking? (See, see, see my discourse on lox and bagels two threads prior to this one.)
But let’s look back at a more Feeshlike moment in the top of the first, when Koehler walked Utley, and Turner, then wildpitched them both over a base but Realmuto made a bad throw to Prado at third allowing Utley to score, walked Gonzalez and then wildpitched Turner home. Line score: Bums 2 runs, no hits, one Feesh error. That left Koehler sitting on the bench in the bottom of the first looking like he wished there was no such thing as karma. But he hung in there and got the win.
That puts the Feesh at 8-11, and brings the strange attractor into even better focus as the Barves, who were within tushy-biting range only a few days ago, do their best impersonation of Wile E. Coyote going down still clutching his daisy:
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Love the strange attractor.
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It wants your phone number.
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It and everyone else.
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Cutch! Welcome back to your accustomed place at the head of the table.
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I’m happy to see the 7-14 Twins have decided to try and make some changes before the season slips away completely.
Go get ’em kid!
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I’m still trying to figure out what is happening with the Astros. In spite of the rosy predictions for them this year, I was prepared for a range of outcomes. But this is way worse than anything I imagined. At least to date.
Baseball. Never believe anyone’s projections.
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so weird. its giving me hope,
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The most bipolar ballpark in baseball was in depression mode last night, with temps in the 30’s and the wind howling in from left. These are not optimal conditions for offense, leading to one of the closest games the Cubs have played so far this season.
Multiple balls were hit hard enough to get out on a normal night, only to be held up by the wind…but this rocket from Russell stayed low enough to avoid being caught and drive in a couple.
One of the many things I’ve come to love about replay is that it’s created space for excellence in sliding. This slide from Rizzo was indeed magic, but Baez’s horizontal gymnastics last night might be more impressive. Baez would later score the Cubs’ 4th run of the game on a Rizzo double, and since the final score was 4-3, that was clearly an important run that doesn’t exist if he’s thrown out here.
15-5 is the best start the Cubs have had since 1907. They’ve played 13 of those games on the road, going 10-3, which is a happy road W-L record.
Yes, the Cubs have beaten up on the Reds quite a bit so far, but consider that the Reds are 8-6 in games against teams that aren’t the Cubs. In fact, the combined record of all the teams the Cubs have played so far is 54-51, if you only look at the games in which those teams played someone other than the Cubs.
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The Rays are finally clicking and playing the Rays Way. Low scoring affairs with just enough runs to win. Kevin Keirmaier did it all. Know his name. He and Archer are the photogenic articulate faces of my franchise. Keirmaier is The Professional.
See that? Didn’t miss a beat. Professional.
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BTW, congratulations on the clean test, Indy. I hope you feel better.
A friend of mine had an oscopy some years back, just after marrying his second wife. Apparently he spent the whole session sharing the happy details of his new intimate life with all of the nurses who would listen (and I guess they had no choice but to listen). Drugs. You gotta love ’em.
Good thing it wasn’t me. I would have had to move to a new city.
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I get told very intimate details all the time. I tell my patients, “What happens in recovery, stays in recovery.” I do not repeat what they tell me. I know they are under the effect of some heavy duty drugs. Seriously though, not I get the googoo eyes we get. It’s the drugs.
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Happy Recovery Johanna! Is it OK for me to drop by and touch your co-workers breasts or will I be forced to go to HR with the Doc?
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lol I would highly recommend against it, although now I do understand why our patients flirt so heavily with us.
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