The Midnight Snack – Monday

Hey FI Fam. I have no excuse for missing Friday except that your friendly neighborhood Professor was tired and forgot what day it was. My apologies. But it’s Monday, and you know what that means. Actually, I don’t know what it’s supposed to mean but I’m gonna give you some mascots, because that’s what I do.

This gif is everything to me.

It’s good to see Robinson Cano doing things I Cano he can do. (You missed my puns, didn’t you?) And of course, I am a Friend of Moose.

It is a sad day in Braves Country when my #BravesFam timeline is all excited about one thing…Craig Kimbrel. Who now plays for the Boston Red Sox. Who actually beat the Braves today. And Kimbrel got the save. My Braves loving friends are so down on this Atlanta team that the mere sight of Kimbrel got them excited and happy. This is a man who delivered the killing blow to our team, but they didn’t care. They just wanted that Silver Surfer swag to bless them one more time, even if it was with the team that just ripped their spinal cords out, Mortal Kombat style.

My buddy Dayton says it for all of us.

Rat poison would be kinder.

As many of you know, I am taking my talents to the East Coast in a few months. This means that Cheeselandia and I will be parting ways. I have lived in this frozen nightmare landscape for about fifteen years, and I will not miss it. However, there are a few things I will miss about America’s Dairyland. Most of it is cheese, fine homemade ice cream, and fish fry every Friday evening. But in all honesty, I do like Miller Park, and I will be sad to say farewell to a venue that has nice views, decent eats, cheap seats, Bob Uecker in the house, and a fine retractable roof.

Baseball is meant to be played outdoors, it’s true. However, a nicely done retractable roof, along with a sliding glass wall, does sometimes make it feel like you’re outside on beautiful days and lovely summer nights. And when it’s freezing cold, or raining cats and dogs, you don’t have game delays. All you have to do is close the roof and Bob’s your uncle.

I hope I get to see a game one more time before I go. Maybe my small child Scooter Gennett will hit a home run for me. I will, in turn, wear my much loved Scooter t-shirt. Because of course I have one.


4 thoughts on “The Midnight Snack – Monday

  1. Hey professor, where on the right coast are you moving to? Hopefully to the New England area, we still believe in science around here. If you’re going any more south than the commute from northern Virginia, once you’re out of the biggest cities, Trumpets and blobfish supporters, each and all! The only thing that they hate worse than living wages and taxes on the wealthy, is those high-faluting union preschool teacher’s making 11 bucks an hour when you can gift a trillion dollar corporation a thirty year lease for a dollar a year and we will install the offramp, lights and pay off the contractors to use non union labor.

    Bobbi Jindal ran for president after he bankrupted Louisiana….they are so fucked that they are probably gonna close ” temporarily” all state colleges from lack of funding, He destroyed ACA in the state and made it near impossible for women to get affordable health care and half of his fuckery is still getting fought at the state supreme court’s!

    FUCK Bobbi JINDAL with Ted Cruz’s lizard tongue after he crawled out of his human suit.

    Governor Brownback from Kansas is doing the same fucking thing only he is literally deep throating the Koch brothers because they live there! I’m not kidding when I say that these are testing grounds for one percentage to see how much fucking cakes you can eat! You’re now allowed to pour poison into the drinking water and the state will cut back on the on the water softeners if the fucking poisonous corporation decided that it would tie them into a fucking lawsuit!

    Brownback literally is veto proof, he just weakened the state supreme court so much that if they have the fucking balls to disagree with him , they can be dismissed.

    That twatwaffle is running in 2020 and he might win!

    I’m openly rooting for Brownback to be recalled, if not, a ninja with a limp left hand punch and a weak leg could beat him to almost death so he lives for like thirty years ONLY in constant pain.

    My fucking governor just vetoed a bill for over the counter heroin adrenaline shots and his reason was that you ONLY prolonged the addiction. He wants people to die in the fucking streets! He shut down funding for most methadone clinics, made it a burden for the grocery stores, Wal-Mart and others to donate processed foods with stupid regulations, so now they must throw away all the rotisserie chicken that sat in questionable circumstances and temperatures being sold to you, but the homeless can’t get it unless they are dumpster diving two minutes later than you would have paid full price? Christian much?

    I’m not telling you anything that you don’t know, but I am scared that this may be the new normal. The republicans want you to die if you’re not in there tax bracket, but they need your Fucking vote, and you’ll still vote for them? Read up on eugenics, Para Sailing told you about death-panels from the left, but the right really wants you to be ignorant and angry and never understand that they want you to die after you’ve voted, just like pro-lifers, which is basically forced birth, they ONLY care about the fetus two minutes after you conceive, after that…at least your dad didn’t fuck you, your rapist will help you out raising the kids, however you need to work thirty hours a week at a “charity” for free for a 170 dollars a week? Republican slave labor mentality.

    I’m sorry for the wall of text and poor formatting, but stream of consciousness and finding out a manager I previously respected is voting Trump and her family are backing her and her family is Indian Sheik makes me want to fucking punch people!

    How can you be a lesbian, Indian, person of color and enthusiastically vote for him?

    5 beers and a fucking double bong rip makes Slappy a fucking nag and that wasn’t what I wanted.

    Tl; Dr- Once I Rob my wife of everything that ever mattered to her and and just cover the bedroom with the late night pillow enthusiast from Minnesota ,you and I are simpatico, right? I’m totally into getting the fucking shit beat out of me if it means I have editing privileges so I’m still spreading mayonnaise on my fucking aids quilt for fucking reasons and you should also consider that I already have hand strangled at least four monkeys and why don’t you love me? Sorry Professor, I thought that we had a thing!

    Fuckit, I will just love you from afar! Haha.


    • In retrospect, I probably had more than five beer’s because the ones that someone else bought, while greatly appreciated, don’t count. I’m somewhat impressed up until the last paragraph! I have no idea what it means, but I bet I laughed my ass off while typing and the voices in my head loved it….. anyway, anyone want some of this burnt toast I’ve been smelling?

      Liked by 1 person

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