So, What Did I Miss? (4/26/16)

Currently, I feel like the baseball recapping version of Katie Couric, as I have been preparing for my first ever colonoscopy due to “a change in bowel habits.” I changed brands of toilet paper, apparently? The preparation is a very unpleasant experience; I will spare you the gory details other than to tell you it is humbling, humiliating, and nauseating. I understand now why our patients complain so much about it. I have developed a higher empathy for them. The procedure itself is painless. We give you some really good drugs that Michael Jackson was particularly fond of as your reward for all your work. However, what I have experienced tonight is the opposite of fun, and I like a fun time–we have established that fact.

My patients did not exaggerate. Is this terrible? Yeah, it sucks. Should you have this done? Absolutely, yes, 100%. Colon cancer screenings save lives. That was your public service announcement because fuck cancer.

Doctor, doctor give me the news. So what happened in baseball on Monday night? Excuse me. Bathroom break.

Okay, back. I wish that was a joke, but let’s make it a joke, because if I can’t laugh at myself, well, then the poops have won. I will never let the poo win.

The Chicago White Sox – Blue Jays game was sick. The White Sox won it on a interference call, 7-5, as Tulowitski runs into a batted ball. Game over.

This is the second time this year the Jays have lost a game on an interference call.

Stroman was sick too–uh, not the kind of sick we normally see from him. He kind of threw the game up all over the place. He had the game in hand when in the 7th inning he ran into a bit of trouble. After giving up hits to Melky Cabrera and Avisail Garcia, and walking Austin Jackson, Stroman is replaced by Brett Cecil with 2 outs. Adam Eaton singles. The score is 5-3 Toronto. Jimmy Rollins singles. 5-4 Toronto. Cecil replaced by Gavin Floyd. The Toddfather, Frazier, doubles. White Sox 6-5.

While his bullpen was vomiting the game, Stroman was “seen yelling and pounding the bench in the dugout in frustration.”

The Toronto Sun reports:

Stroman’s meltdown led to the accusations that he was showing his teammates up. A charge he vehemently denied.

“I think if you ask my teammates they know the type of character I am. I think that resonates with every single individual in this clubhouse,” said Stroman. “In no sense have I ever tried to (show) my teammates up in any sense. It was more in frustration and the fact that I felt like I didn’t do my job in the end and I didn’t put my team in a position to win when I went back out there for the seventh. I was frustrated and I’ve always been an emotional guy and that’s how I am and that’s how I’ll continue to be.

“I play the game extremely passionately and I was just extremely frustrated with the way things played out there,” added Stroman. “I felt pretty good all night and just really frustrated with the way things kind of turned out and I felt like I didn’t do my job in the end when I felt so good.”

Stroman is part of the Youngster Brigade, the passionate group of younger players lead by Bryce Harper, who is unafraid to display emotion. I am on record as saying I like these young men. Remember how I said practically everything has negatives and a positives, the dual nature of things? Well, then pay attention. 🙂 I did. Here is the negative side of the Youngster Brigade. His frustration made it seem like he was showing up his teammates. He claims he was not. I will give him the benefit of the doubt because I like giving people the benefit of the doubt. However, it is clearly something he may need to explain to his teammates. He wasn’t on the mound when he blew up. He blew up when his teammates blew the game. Hopefully, he will learn to control the temper a bit. The passion is wonderful–never let that go. The anger, channel it.

Another young man with difficulty controlling his emotions had a better night in front of at least 751 raucous fans last night. I actually considered attending last night’s game because I am that insane. Yeah, imagine pooping at the Trop every 5 minutes. At least they have better plumbing than But it is hard for me to pass up a game, especially one in which Chris Archer is pitching. Last night, for the first time in a long time, Archer was Archer.

Archer was interviewed before the game. “These things happen. You look at David Price, his last outing or how his season is going or you look at Adam Wainright. You look at guys who their first 4 starts aren’t pitching to their capability, um, and I’m sure they’re not tripping, and I’m definitely not tripping.”

I was definitely trippin’ on the sunshine Rays after that start. This reminds me of my club days.

Archer: not tripping. Got it. Good to hear. I was trippin’ but that’s because I had not eaten since Sunday night and I feel lightheaded, dizzy, and weak. Also, because Archer in his last 10 starts was 0-7 with a 6.39 ERA and his last win was on 8/31/15. I was cracking up laughing when I heard that interview while drinking some vile shit that was going to give me massive diarrhea.

The Rays won 2-0 vs. the Orioles as Archer silenced the bats of the ornery birds while striking out 10 with his wicked change-up. His battery mate, Curt Casali, drove in both runs. There was a stat during the game that Archer’s ERA is in the mid 2.50’s when Casali is his mate. Might want to make a note of that, although I am not sure what the sample size of that was. Here is Kiermaier doing what he does best, besides looking real purty:

Love the little showmanship at the end. Outlaw.

Boston took down Atlanta 1-0. Rick Porcello has become a good pitcher, holy shit, when did that happen? I guess I should pay attention. Oh, wait, it was against Atlanta, so we’re grading on a curve here as he four-hit them. Still though, he’s been pitching well. Ah… looking at peripherals. Bit of a mirage. Low BABIP, .248, way off career norms of.318, with a FIP of 4.21. Very nice K/9 ratio though, 10.52 and K/BB ratio of 6.00. Can’t knock that. Jackie Bradley Jr. is responsible for the sole run. Kimbrel with the save.

I really am feeling as sick as a dog. 

The Mets defeat Reds 5-3 with Thor on the mound. Syndergaard’s average slider velocity is 92.1 mph. Wow. Conforto and Duda support him with home runs. Second baseman Neil Walker, new to the Mets, with the heroics. It is his 8th home run in April. How has this escaped my attention. Where the hell have I been? I have been totally slacking. You need a new recapper. Mets win 8 of last 10.

Yankees pitcher Nathan Eovaldi, who matches Syndergaard in average fastball velocity, took a no-no into the 7th inning against the Rangers but was denied by Nomar Mazara’s single.

This pitcher can deal. Ellsbury and Castro both homer in support of their pitcher in the Yankees’ 3-1 victory.

a61Onto Detroit, where the centerfielder, Tyler Collins, got a little testy with fans. Apparently, he lost a fly ball in the lights, and the hometown crowd booed him. He returned with a gesture that I use on drivers. Nah, I don’t. I kid. I expect everyone to drive like an asshole. I don’t let it upset me. I just listen to my tunes and sing, just like I play Grand Theft Auto. But seriously, Collins apparently used an “unfortunate gesture” according to the MLB Network. So it was either a middle finger, or maybe he did the Papelbon crotch grab?

As for the rest of the game, Jordan Zimmerman continues to establish himself as the dominant Tigers pitcher as they defeat the Athletics, 7-3. Miguel Cabrera breaks an 0 for 13 skid with style, hitting 2 home runs. The A’s may like a do-over.

The Twins paid a moving tribute to Prince before their game yesterday. This is pretty cool. Everyone might be getting sick of Prince tributes, but I don’t really watch on television besides baseball, Game of Thrones, and Orange is the New Black–oh, Daredevil is a new addition, thanks scout–so I haven’t seen any other tributes other than what you guys have posted and this one.

Send any more tributes my way. The Twins won the game 4-3 in exciting fashion, walking off Cleveland with Oswaldo Arcia’s homer.

Apropos of nothing, just a great song. I feel terrible, and this song usually makes me feel great. All of a sudden, all of his songs are on Youtube.

You are all going to have to recap yourselves because I really don’t feel well. I did my best. I even had trouble remembering what I call these things. I’m going to rest until it’s time to go in for my appointment.


27 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? (4/26/16)

  1. Morning already? A pox on our circadian rhythms.

    Been preoccupied with domestic disaster for the last couple of days – in this case, corroded pool filter burst and chlorinated the back lawn and hedges, and forensic response disclosed shot bearings on the old pump as well, necessitating a $1200 replacement of the entire system. Ah well, got me a nice new pump and filter now, which was prolly inevitable. But there goes the downpayment for the new car for about a month. Let’s see if Bernie Sanders was right and I don’t vote.

    Anyway, there are two stories here: Wei-Yin Chen gets his first win, 3-2, as a Feesh (Ren! Slap! Wake up!) over da Bums; the boolpen didn’t blow it for him, will wonders never cease, and the rest of the story, well….

    Big guy seems to be waking up. He’s brought his average up around fifty points in the past four days. As a result, Scrooge McLoria has ordered a temporary halt to the construction of the Widow of St. Pierre at Macondo Banana Massacre Field, and the 7-11 Feesh have put 3.5 parsecs between theyselves and the Barves and, at fewer than five games removed, the details of the strange attractor are becoming more readily visible again:


  2. ‘Burgie… I can empathize with the ‘scope treatment. Been there, done that… way too many times. This month marks 30 years since I was first diagnosed with Crohn’s, so I know my way around the colonoscopy procedure. One good thing I can say is that the “drano” that they make you drink to clear out the pipes has evolved over the years, and for the better. Thanks for the reminder, though… I need to call my specialist and book my annual ‘scope.

    That 7th inning for the Jays was brutal, and it can all be traced back to one comebacker off the bat of Navarro that Stroman tried to field and it went off his elbow. If he doesn’t touch that ball, it is headed right at Tulo for an easy double play to end the inning.


  3. Yeah, imagine pooping at the Trop every 5 minutes. At least they have better plumbing than

    And after your procedure, so will you 🙂

    Liked by 6 people

  4. gak. zimmerman was not sharp. he was very lucky to get that scoreless streak to the 6th. A’s hit the ball sharply, but atom balls when the tigers needed outs. And Khris Davis hit a ball 418 feet for an out.

    still first place (tie), thanks yankees


  5. Good luck with the procedure, Indy. You’re right, you’ve already done the worst part. The knockout drugs do the job nicely. I could sit there and listen to them as they did all of these unspeakable things with my inert body. And I didn’t care….. I didn’t care!…….La la la, I feel so good.

    I wonder if a good unblocking would help the Astros’ bats.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Had one a while ago, hated it. Mostly the not eating for what seemed like weeks (actually 48+ hrs?), had a headache to beat the band going in, so naturally heaved immediately after coming out from under the anaesthesia. Passed with flying colors, but don’t make me do that again.


  7. April 25, 6:30 PM

    Prelude to a Twins game

    Going attention seeking drama queen here. Gonna write this now and cut and paste it in to the What Did I miss tomorrow 4/26 or whatever today or tomorrow was.

    The damn Twins game doesn’t start until 7 pm cst. Trouble is by around 930 or 10 pm cst the cheap vodka has fully kicked in and I’m drunk ass fallen asleep before the end of the game. As you can tell the process has already started. I’m trying to type this up before the truth serum is cognitively disabled. I’ll also try to disable my vanity by typing fast.

    Tonight’s prelude was a viewing of Cheyenne Autumn on the MGM channel. I like this cable channel because it shows movies which made me believe in good things when I was a youth. They made me believe that all good things were possible and that I might be a part of all those things. Most all of those movies were centralized around bullshit lies about really happened. Cheyenne Autumn is one of those movies. It includes a ridiculously, perversely, in accurate portrale of Wyatt Earp played by Jimmy Stewart, and the non existetant moral rescuer of us smug European descendants played by Edwin G Robinson.

    My brother in Alaska is married to a Seminole Indian. He is 2 ½ half years older than me and we grew up together within a fantasy land which it would take me a year to explain. We don’t talk to each other for months and years at a time and it doesn’t matter. We’re damn near twins. His son is really fucking smart and him and my son hook up on facebook. Even though he was only able to get down here once to see me, and I was only able once to get up there once to see him, I like to think that he loves and respects me because he knows that I love and respect him, but mostly because he loves his dad and knows that his dad loves me and there must be some reason for that. Love is the law of life

    Shit, I guess the Twins game has already started. Play ball!


    • “The damn Twins game doesn’t start until 7 pm cst. Trouble is by around 930 or 10 pm cst the cheap vodka has fully kicked in and I’m drunk ass fallen asleep before the end of the game. As you can tell the process has already started.”

      move west!

      Liked by 1 person

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