So, What Did I Miss? Recap Your Own (4/23/16)

Good morning, all. I hope this Saturday morning finds you well. Your resident recapping joker in the house.

I play my music in the sun

I don’t have a lot of time for recapping, so I am going to depend on y’all again today for what happened.

The White Sox turned your everyday ordinary 9-3-2-6-2-5 triple play in their 5 – 0 win over the Rangers. Coincidentally, that is also my phone number, go figure. Yes, I have a six digit phone number. It’s weird, I know. Rangers manager Banister blamed the full moon. That would explain the patients I had yesterday.

 “It was a disaster by everybody,” Adrian Beltre said. “All the runners screwed up. Awful baserunning by everybody.”

Ya think, Adrian? TOOTBLAN for the ages because it is actually the first 9-3-2-6-2-5 in history and I don’t know if that level of awful baserunning is replicable.  I got it! 9-3-2-6-2-5 is a song by Tommy Tutone, right?

Okay, I guess not. How many of us have actually called that number? (Raises hand.)

That replay was triple play trouble…

There is no more exciting play in baseball than the stealing of the home. Normally frowned upon in polite society. Ellsbury pulled off this feat against my goddamned idiot somnambulant team in the Yankees’ 6 – 3 win. If this were any other two team but my own, I would be super pumped.

I can still appreciate it very much, even if last night the only thing I could say was “Fuck Ellsbury.” It was the first steal of the plate for the Yankees in 15 years. Cream, you will cop.

You’re so cool. Everything you do is success.

Momma did not sleep much last night, and I have a crazy busy day with the children, so I going to leave the rest of the recaps to you. Recap and a song, s’il te plait. Merci beaucoup.

What would you do if I sang out of tune? Will you stand up and walk out on me? I sing a lot. 

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21 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? Recap Your Own (4/23/16)

  1. And remember, the same state that gave you Ted Cruz and the Rick Perry campaign gave you that triple play.

    Meanwhile somebody thought it would be a great idea to play an afternoon game, pile into a plane and fly diagonally across a continent, get barely any sleep and then play a night game. So befelleth the Feesh.

    I was preockerpied with Passover dinner yesterday (all day cooking it, all night reciting the story of the Exodus, complete with the latest archaeological evidence) and leading the Kaddish for the stone crab season, so I conked out rather than trying to stay up all night to watch the Feesh getting scheschmettered by the Jints out on the sunset side. About the time Moses had Blondie and Tuco blow the pontoon bridge under the Egyptians, the Feesh were already down 2-0 and Jared Cosart was somewhere back in his childhood trying to throw beanbags through the clown’s mouth and I was trying to digest five cups of Manischewitz concord pancake syrup, one hardboiled egg dipped in saltwater, a quarter teaspoon of straight horseradish, a spring of parsley dipped in saltwater, some blended apples, walnuts, honey and wine on matzo, a large helping of roast lamb with mint apple jelly, a bowl of chicken soup with matzo balls, steamed broccoli and a side of kasha varnishkes with sauteed onions, forest mushrooms and garlic, and a small bowl of mixed red berry pudding.

    By the time the breakfast committee – also known as the four houndlings of the Apocalypse – roused us for feeding time this morning, my guys were wandering in the wilderness of jetlag to a final score of 8-1, Cosart having given up six in 4-1/3 with something like six walks. Christian Yelich doubled three times in his bid to be stranded in scoring position more often than anyone else in MLB, while the Iron Giant continued to struggle, going 0-4 with his trademark K and Jar Jar Baseball had been booted for the first time in his so far unspectacular tenure as manager of the Rainbow Warriors:

    Ergo, the Feesh now stand at 5-10, having lost precisely twice as many as they’ve won, which calls for a special Fibonacci strange attractor:

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  2. Aaron Sanchez did not have it for the Jays. there was no soft contact. even on outs. But the Jays defense made for good plays and the A”s made some abd decisions. Despite best efforts it was 4-1 in the 5th when Sanchez left. Sonny Gray was cruising.

    Hope was not lost for the Jays, Darwin Barney, in for an ailing tulowitski, refused to make an out. and the A’s never pulled away. in the 8th, the Jays got to the A’s bullpen and sean doolittle allowed the first inherited runs of the year when the Jays pulled to within 6-5.

    the A’s got 2 off of Ozuna in the 9th and won easily.

    Most notable for the game, the A’s came out on the winning side of 3 challenges.

    its nice having a sonny gray. He’s my little star.

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  3. Patrick Corbin was leaving everything up and over the plate against Pittsburgh early last night. The first 13 Pirates to the plate combined for three homers and two doubles. Marte’s double came about 18 inches from being homer number four. Two of the outs were loud flyballs that went to the warning track in centerfield.

    Nobody pitched well last night as the teams combined for 28 hits and six homers. Every hitter in both starting lineups, save Jason Rogers, got at least one hit.

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    • I’m sorry about your step dad. I don’t know what the hell to say that would be of help. Just know that everyone here is with you.

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    • there is one thing I want to tell you that I hope helps. It should be a comfort that your step dad was a good man with whom you had a good relationship. It isn’t easy, I know. My oldest daughter was four when I became her step father and her sister was one and a half. Their other sister and brother were born in the three years following. I haven’t mentioned this before because I hate terms like “step daughter” or “half brother”, if you’re just trying to be a decent father you don’t use words like that.

      My youngest “step daughter” died about six years ago. My mom died last July and my dad died in 2003 a few months after my second heart attack which I barely survived. I am grateful to God that neither of them had to lose me.

      Please allow yourself to feel the same way about your “step dad”.

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