So, What Did I Miss? Kinda Sorta Write Your Own. (4/22/16)

I was planning to do a brief recap tonight. No music. My favorite musician has died. The day the music died. Bye… bye.

Then I thought better of it. No. I was wrong. Professor is right. The music lives. It has not died. It lives. It will always live. This pain–it is good and beautiful. It’s healthy. It reminds us we’re alive and that we love. And what better therapy is there than baseball, my old friend?

Wipe those tears, child. There is so much to celebrate from last night.

I cannot stop watching this. I am never going to finish this recap.

Jake Arietta threw another no-hitter as his team utterly demolished the Reds, 16 – 0. I mean, yeah. Wow. It was incredible to watch. I don’t know about you, but I feel privileged. I was overjoyed with every pitch. He has become Must Watch TV. Before, my list was Clayton Kershaw, Jose Fernandez, David Price, uh… welcome to the club, Jake. Long, long overdue, my apologies, good sir. Here’s your leather chair with your name on it. Would you like a cigar? Ohhhh, of course, you don’t smoke, Mr. Health Fanatic. Just hold it, it looks good on you. Anything looks good on you, really, but I digress. I’ll get you that protein shake right away…

Prior to the game, Arietta sent out this Tweet:

What better way to celebrate brilliance than more brilliance–pitching a no-hitter? Well done, Mr. Arietta. And no, thank you, Jake. Thank you for making yesterday bearable. More than bearable. Joyful. I could watch the GIF loop all night. He will rock you as will his team.


@professormaddog31 already mentioned this in her delicious snack, but I have to repeat it because Twitter love. The Dodgers have invited the Reds to their Jake Arietta No Hitter Support Group.

H/t Dodgers. I laughed so hard. I may attend it too. My team gets no-hit at least once a year so I have experience dealing with these situations. The 5 stages of “Oh Shit, My Loser Team Has No Damn Hits” Grief: Anger, Depression, Negotiation, Denial, Acceptance. Acceptance is a good place to be. You respect the history being made, and remember, it just counts as a loss. No style points in baseball, and you move on. See, I am an expert. It’s really the least I can do.

One of the things I love about Twitter are the team accounts, and how they interact playfully with each other. If you’re a person who is into fun, you would enjoy that aspect of Twitter. Yes, there is negative stuff on Twitter. There are positives and negatives to practically everything. If you only focus on the negative, I’m sorry but it’s not my problem. Here is another 80s icon to express my feelings on that subject.

Did I say something wrong? Ooops, I didn’t know I couldn’t speak my mind…And I’m not sorry. It’s human nature. I’m not your bitch; don’t hang your shit on me.  

The other thing that made the no-hitter super special? Grandpa Rossy got to catch it. He is retiring after this season. He is not getting some grand retirement tour like some pompous asshole. He’s just gonna ride off into the sunset with this fantastic memory, and I have a feeling there are going to be some more great memories for this team this season. I don’t know, something about some stupidly ridiculous positive run differential. +60. Jesus Christ. Can we borrow some?

Okay, I’m almost done… here are some Cliff Clavin facts about the no-hitter:

  • No team since the 1938 Yankees had posted a margin of victory greater than 11 runs in a no-hitter.
  • Since June 21st of last year, Arrieta owns a 0.86 ERA, a 0.70 WHIP, has struck out 173, and walked 33. This is over 24 regular-season starts and 178 innings. Opponents are batting .150 against him. These are silly, silly numbers. Each of those 24 starts has been a QS.
  • The streak of 24 QS is the longest in the majors. It is a Cubs franchise record and it is the longest since Bob Gibson in ’67-68 with 26. When you are being mentioned in the same air as Bob Gibson, you are indeed in good company.
  • Arrieta has 15 wins since his last loss, on July 25, 2015, against the Phillies. Rick Sutcliffe owns the currents Cubs record, 16, 1984-85. I recall 1984 also being a good year for the Cubs.
  • This is the 15th no hitter in Cubs history. He is the third to throw more than one: Larry Corcoran, had three in the 1880s, and Ken Holtzman, 1969 and 1971. Oh, but wait, there’s more! I’ll throw in this sham-wow if you act now!
  • “Arrieta is the fourth Cy Young Award winner to throw a no-hitter in the following season, according to ESPN. Clayton Kershaw did it in 2014, Gibson in 1971 and Koufax in ’64. Of the previous three, only Kershaw repeated as the Cy Young winner.”
  • The Reds were last no hit in 1971. Half of us here weren’t even born yet.

This is one of those special baseball nights. Where were you when Jake pitched that 16 – 0 no-hitter? If you weren’t watching this, I don’t know about you. The offense was just stupid–y’all can cover that below.

So speaking of pompous assholes, Boston and David Ortiz were defeated handily by my upstart punks, the Rays, yesterday afternoon, 12 – 8. David Price, former Tampa Bay Ray, our first round pick–hey, baby, wassup, honey? How’s it going in Boston? They treating you good there? Has Shaughnessy torn you a new one yet? There are some Rude Boys up there in Boston. I would have stayed in Toronto.

At least you have that paycheck to comfort you. But I know you, David. The money isn’t enough. You want to be the best. You were bested yesterday by a team with a negative run differential (which has improved greatly, trending in the right direction). A team that probably makes less collectively than you make in a single year? Hahahahaha… nothing personal, I love David Price except for when he’s being a sexist anti-nerdist. But that comeback yesterday… oh, it was just what I needed.

I don’t mind you coming here, and wasting all my time. Wanna watch some baseball? 🙂

The Rays were down early, 5 – 1. Normally, you can sound the death knell. Bring out your dead. “But I’m not dead yet.” Ah, you will be soon. The Rays are done normally when they are down by 4 runs. But nope. These Rays have a little fight in them.They chased Price out of the game with a 6 run fourth inning. Thank you, my boys, for also giving me a reason to smile and cheer ecstatically. The Rays take the series in Boston, 2 of 3. Maybe PECOTA sorta knows something. Stupid PECOTA. 😉 Souza, specially, has been playing inspired baseball since the foul ball incident last Friday. I know–narratives, but he’s the kind of player who would be inspired to perform by something like that. He’s a special kind of guy. I don’t mean “special”, like he needs extra help with his homework special. He’s just a nice person. Last year, Souza doesn’t make this catch. He is not known for his defense.


Another thing that made me very happy. Oakland, dafuq you did in the Bronx? You broke out that broom, didn’t ya? It did look like it needed some cleaning. You drop kicked the Yankees into last place and in the process helped my Rays climb out of the cellar (they’ve been playing well–they earned it too). Now I’m just getting downright goofy. This song would have been better if a pitcher named Sonny had been on the hill, but my Rays are the sun, right? Rich Hill got the W, striking out 10 in the process of beating the Yanks 7 – 3.

Again, I’m reading’s recap and smiling. The A’s hit 4 bombs versus the Borg: Canha, Coghlan, the other Khris Davis, and delicious breakfast cereal Coco Crisp all hit one. Very cool, brothers on the other bay. Thanks for weakening the Borg. We’ll try to finish them off this weekend.

Oh, momma dear, we’re not the fortunate ones, and girls, they wanna have fun.

We may not be the fortunate teams, Oakland and Tampa Bay, but we know how to stretch a dollar. Living on the dole in ugly stadiums. It’s so much fun to beat the rich ones, isn’t it? How freaking cute was Cyndi Lauper though? What a great song.

Minnesota was purply last night.

The one and only time I saw aurora borealis I was in Alaska, and they were purple dancing lights. They sort of looked like this:

So beautiful, mystical, and magical. I still get goosebumps at the memory. And that’s how I want to imagine Minnesota last night, awash in purple dancing northern lights. The Twins defeated the Brewers 8 – 1 on the strength of Eddie Rosario’s 4 hits, and Ricky Nolasco’s strong pitching performance.

Like a bird without her song. 

I’m gonna finish listening to this elegant, heartbreaking song and get ready for work. Please finish the recap for me. You know the routine. Write a recap and a link to a song that fit the mood. Thanks, guys and gals. I do this because I love the conversation and interaction that you bring.

So, what did I miss? A lot, I know. It was a roller coaster day with the highest high and the lowest low.

33 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? Kinda Sorta Write Your Own. (4/22/16)

  1. “The Reds were last no hit in 1971. Half of us here weren’t even born yet.”

    Tell us what this game was like. I assume you were already in your teens by this point. 🙂


      1. There’s a lot of fucked up shit about college football, but one thing they do get right is counting statistics from post-season games. They still count, unless somebody on the team accepted a hamburger from a booster or something.

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Baltimore beat Toronto after leaving approximately 325 men on base. Manny Machado stepped up with a bloop hit in-front of a sliding Bautista. Joey read the hit perfectly and scored from second without missing a step. The umpiring was….not so good. Inconsistency was the word of the night. Buck tried his best to get thrown out. Not sure what it was Wieters said, but it got him the immediate axe. Tough series, but the O’s pulled out 2 of 3 to remain atop the AL East. Now it’s on to KC.


    1. I caught the first inning of that game last night; the “framing” of the pitches to Trumbo in that inning was criminal.

      I’m surprised it only ended up 3-2 after the way it started…


  3. A 16-0 no hitter sounds like Little League stuff, something that should’ve ended after 4 (3 1/2 if the home team was winning).

    As for the Nats/Marlins, Harper homered again, but Scherzer wasn’t himself, and the Nats generally played like the only thing they cared about was the plane they had to catch to get out of town:

    Weather permitting, they’ll open a three game series tonight at home against the Twins, a.k.a. the first Senators franchise to leave town. Probably not many people around remember seeing that franchise play, given that it left town after 1960. The only real link between the Nats and the Twins is the fact that Harmon Killebrew is among the honorees in the Nationals Park Ring of Honor, which has names from both Senators’ franchises, the Expos, the Homestead Greys, and one guy who actually wore a Nats uniform, Frank Robinson (although he clearly distinguished himself much more as a Red and Oriole).

    Everybody gotta make their own history somehow…

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I also want to say that Kris Bryant, my small precious child, hit two home runs including a grand slam.



  5. that was a good interview with jake. i am now a fan. the cubs seem really good. so good, they may not be cute. Not sure yet. they have a lot of likable characters. and no I wasn’t watching, what of it?

    I mean, I know what you mean, but sousa Jr is kinda only know for a defensive play. And for being the guy who wrote all the best 4th of july tunes

    I can’t really say anything about the A’s game, was only listening for about 2 innings, but after the game 2 players tweeted barbs about one of the yankees announcers calling the A’s minor leaguers, or AAA guys. I assume it was john or susyn in a moment of utter confusion (like almost every moment of them. I really do like listening. honest). And yes, the A’s guys tweets seem sent unawares of the irony.

    josh donaldson had a ball go through his glove. you guys are pros. you get the shit for free, tighten it up.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. First of all, my sympathies on the loss of Prince, Indy. So it’s not just my generation of musicians that is going to be dying this year. Dropping back into yours. Prince’s peak seemed to come mostly during years when I didn’t seem to do much but work. I knew some of his music and the talent was evident. But this was more of a grazing blow for me. But I know how you feel.

    Per David Price. So the top lefty in the AL chases money into a hitter’s park with a short porch in left field. Ohmygoshgolly. Who could have ever predicted that could turn out badly? 🙂 Players talk about quality of life and competition and all that other dreck, but in the end they measure themselves by money made. I hope he rights the ship. He is still one of my Fantasy keepers. I was concerned about the move to Fenway, but I couldn’t find anyone better available to replace him with.

    As to the Astros. They need a large sign over their dugout that says “Property of the Texas Rangers.” They are so owned.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. He was our Hendrix, our James Brown. He was brilliant, insane. I will miss him. He also wrote songs for a lot of others– that gorgeous cover by Sinead.

      The Bangles

      All of the nights, why did my lover have to pick last night to get down
      Doesn’t he know I have to feed the both of us?
      Employment’s down

      He tells me in his bedroom voice,
      “C’mon honey. Let’s go make some noise.”

      (I didn’t have to look that up 🙂 )

      Sheila E. (Whom I have been told I strongly resemble by someone who knew her well)

      She wants to lead the glamorous life
      She don’t need a man’s touch
      She wants to lead the glamorous life
      But without love it ain’t much

      Money only pays the rent

      My break is up. He wrote so many great songs.


      1. Vanity, another Prince protege, though not nearly as talented as Sheila E, also died @ 57. She had a long history of drug abuse, though.


  7. Prince was too poppy for my taste but everyone who feels his loss has my sympathy and condolences. I do realize that he, like Bowie and Bernie Sanders, had a profound effect on how money circulates in popular culture.

    The Feesh teed orf on old Blue Eye yesterday afternoon in a game I missed while shopping to cook Passover dinner tonight – the usual Publix aisle nightmare of Pinecrest and Kendall Mercedes mamas and Beemer babes with their Rosa Klebb dagger Guccis and Mesala chariot hub elbow guards. Somehow, though, I survived and brought home fresh mushrooms and sweet onions for the kasha varnishkes, sprigs of aromatic rosemary for the roast lamb and potatoes, and walnuts for the cirrhosis, and of course, one bottle of that undrinkably sweet Manischewitz Concord grape wine (you suffer through a couple of minimally filled cups of the stuff and the next day start making pancake syrup with what’s left over). Passover always arrives in Macondo to a kind of bittersweetness, betokening as it does not only the suffering of the Hebrews in Egypt, but the impending deprivation of the Macondo Jews as stone crab season ends. But we’re survivors, and there’s always lobster and king crab to tide us over.

    Anyway, Marcell Ozuna, otherwise known to Scrooge McLoria as Marcell of the Damned, kee-rushed a hanging slider from old Brown Eye for the three run dinger that buried him and his mutant optical accouterments. Ozuna has been coming around of late after Jar Jar Baseball stuck him in the two hole. Er, I mean, had him batting second, for reasons known only to Jar Jar, though reflexive obeisance to the left-right-left-right principle has been offered as an explanation. Ozuna always did better batting fifth or sixth and he’s proving that again. Tom Koehler ackcherley found his groove and pitched a purty fine six plus innings of mere one run ball. And the Iron Giant was benched for a day because Don Quixote put a lance up his ass after the dear sweet old feller watched a couple of his recent at-bats and mistook him for a windmill.

    The strange attractor’s gossamer reality waves began strengthening at the conclusion of the game and it inched closer, beckoning the Feesh to return to baseline mediocrity, perhaps even during their current trip to the sunset side:

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Prince was too poppy for my taste but everyone who feels his loss has my sympathy and condolences. I do realize that he, like Bowie and Bernie Sanders, had a profound effect on how money circulates in popular culture.

      This only shows how ignorant you are of his body of work. He was more than pop, although there is nothing wrong with pop music. Mozart was the pop music of his day. To dismiss a genre because a record label executive decided in a business meeting that “we are going to label this artist (blank)”, is a simplistic and dismissive way of appreciating music.

      Much like one of your favorites, Grateful Dead, Prince was known for his jam sessions, his forays into the musical imagination. Of course, this is stuff you never hear on the radio. Twenty five minute songs don’t allow for many commercial breaks. A lot of his best work was not his popular stuff. Yes, he had mass appeal, but his genius went far and above what the masses enjoyed.


  8. Matt Wisler pitched an outstanding game for Atlanta yesterday. He is tapping into the potential he’s shown flashes of for the last couple years. I will make a run at him in FAAB this Sunday where he’s available.

    Clayton Kershaw struggled yesterday, starting the game by yielding back to back doubles by Erick Aybar (who couldn’t fog a mirror before yesterday) and Daniel Castro. It’s a testament to what an ace he is that Kershaw still made it through eight innings on a day when he clearly didn’t have his best stuff.

    Kershaw could have scored the go ahead run in the top of the eighth, but lazy sack of shit Angel Hernandez couldn’t get his ass into proper position to make the call. The review from New York took nearly 4.5 minutes before they decided they couldn’t overturn it. This wound up costing Kershaw the W, but a collision between Mallex Smith and Frenchy Francoeur was the only reason Clayton was on base, so I can’t complain too much.

    Liked by 2 people

  9. ‘Burgie… here’s another couple of tidbits for your “Cliff Clavin Facts” about Arrieta:

    • During his streak of 24 QS, aside from his 173 K and 33 BB, he has given up a total of 4 HR.
    • Also during that streak, his W-L record is 20-1. His one loss, on July 25, was Cole Hamels’ no-hitter.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Another info-nugget about my boy…

      Jake and Johnny Vander Meer are the only two pitchers ever to throw multiple no-hitters without losing a regular-season game in between them.


  10. The Cubs played a perfect game last night. If you like to see a dominant pitching performance, Arrieta always has you covered. If you want to see an explosion of offense, the North Side Lumber Company was very much open for business. What else could you want from a game?

    Random baseball video time!

    From the world of collegiate baseball, your standard, run-of-the-mill, 4-9-8 putout.

    Liked by 2 people

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