So, What Did I Miss? (4/21/16)

I have been accused by some of you of being crazy. I may resemble that adjective. It makes me chuckle. I think of this scene from one of my favorite movies (and yes, I have red hair):

But I know when that redhead starts getting cooky, that something about me feels alive inside..

The world is crazy, and if you don’t have something reflecting that, then you are likely the worst kind of crazy: psychopath.

This is not a love song. 

I always thought of mental illness the by-product of two things: environment and genetics. Most illnesses are, really–lung cancer is a good example of the following. Genetics are your gun. Environment is someone pulling your trigger. Some of us are born with six bullets in our chamber. I pull that trigger once, and the gun is going to fire. That is some horrible DNA. Some of us are born very resilient, with no bullets in our chamber. I can fire that gun all day long, and you are not going to fire. The world, however, is always pulling your trigger. Most of us have at least one bullet in our chamber. Eventually, it’s going to fire. We’re all at least a little bit crazy. Embrace it.

Our poster boy for mental illness in baseball pitched tonight, Zack Greinke. (@professormaddog31 wrote a great piece about him and mental illness in baseball recently.) I adore the quirky Mr. Greinke. And that is what he is to me: a different flavor of person. How boring it would be if we were all vanilla or chocolate. He lost his composure when he visited the Negro Leagues Baseball Hall of Fame.

Posnanski discovered just how different after that season, when the Royals’ best prospects were given a tour of the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum in Kansas City, Missouri. He noticed that Greinke was especially moved by the stories of players who couldn’t play in the major leagues because of the color of their skin. When a television reporter walked over and asked whether she could interview Greinke, he looked up at the ceiling and said, “No, this is not a good time. I don’t really feel like it.”

You have a fan for life, Zack. I would be bawling too. All those great players, disregarded, ignored by history, simply because they dared to be born the wrong color. Anyone who doesn’t like this player–I don’t want to judge you, but what is wrong with you? Yes, I am totally judging you. I can’t help it.

He pitched a hell of a game tonight, which means his weak earlier outings were indeed likely  due to his flu and its lingering effects. Lay people don’t take the flu seriously. I don’t make that mistake. It can wipe you out for weeks. The Zack is back. The Diamondbacks won 2 – 1. Zack gets the best crazy song ever because he outdueled the MadBum.

The Orioles came back on the Jays, defeating them 4 – 3 last night. I for one, enjoy the rivalry between the two birds. I imagine them at my bird feeder, fighting for seed. This was a hard fought battle, going into the 10th inning with the Orioles finally winning on a passed ball, which is effin’ crazy.

The O’s gave up a 3 – 0 lead. A man who I suspect is not altogether there, Josh Donaldson, homered. No one grows up with his childhood unscathed. I am also a huge fan.

Don’t you know I’m loco?

Gentlemen, let’s play nice today. 🙂 Hug it out, bitch. Speaking of bitch…

Chris Archer is turning me into one crazy bitch.

He has not had one good outing this year. Something is definitely up with Archer. Nothing appears obviously wrong physically when he pitches, but he cannot locate his pitches. He is trying to locate, throwing instead of pitching. I don’t know if there is something actually physically wrong, but I suspect a stint on the DL with dead arm coming soon. But do dead arm pitchers have K/9 ratio of 13.50? His xFIP is 2.81. BABIP .436. He gives me agitta. It seems two things happen when someone comes up to bat: a hit or a strike-out. Because that is what he is doing so far in 2016, the Rays fall to the Red Sox 7 – 3 on Archer’s lackluster performance, and if we know anything about Archers, they tend to over-promise and under-perform in a hilarious fashion.

Do you have anemia? Edema? Hypertension? Pre-eclampsia? Braxton-Hicks contractions? Pica? GERD? Then dude… you might be pregnant. 

The Cubs fail to complete the sweep, falling to the Cardinals 5 – 3. The game featured a long rain delay–I tried to pick up the feed at the gym today to no avail.

Da Pump could dance, wow.

Grichuk was apprehended by authorities after the game for this theft:

Rizzo filing report: “It was a small white spherical object with stitches that I launched off my bat. It was heading into the left field seating area when Mr. Grichuk lept in the air and stole it from me!” Felonious.

CarGo got his 1,000 career hit on a double for the Rockies in the 6 -5 losing effort to the Reds:

Can you handle the curve (balls)?

Bruce and Duvall go back to back for the Reds in the walk-off. This was a wild one. Just reading about it made my heart sing. It made everything groovy.

There is nothing cuter than a bunch of adults celebrating like children. Okay, maybe dachshund puppies. They are pretty fucking cute too. Let me think about this.
The Nagels continued their problems with their anemic offense, losing 2 -1 to the White Sox. I take full responsibility. I own Mike Trout on my fantasy team which is a curse on any hitter. Pitchers, I can whisper to, but hitters, I don’t know what to do with you. Yes, I saw my typo. It was an accident, but I decided not to fix it. They are now the Nagels until they figure out how to hit. They are like a dirty, nasty navel or yucky nails. Work with me here. In the Nagels’ defense, Chris Sale was pitching for the White Sox, and there ain’t much you can do with the shit he brings.

Watch a maestro. He did this to my team last week, and he is coming for your team. I am looking at his peripherals. He is striking out fewer than he normally does at 9 K/9. His fastball is only averaging 92.9 mph so far in this young season. He’s not even at 100% yet. Jesus, he can actually get better. Hold me. Chris Sale is a bad man which means of course that I am…

Got me looking so crazy right now… because I love an ace.

Something crazy went down in Philly. The boys in red beat the Mets 5 – 4 in 11 innings. The Phillies’ bats saved Hellickson’s awful start. Lucas Duda went back to back with Cespedes for a 3rd straight game, a Mets record.

Some of us are crazy because our name is Luka.

Trigger warning: Seriously, this video can be a huge trigger. Be careful with this song.

I didn’t mean to get so dark. It’s a beautiful song, but it hurts. On to happier news. Oakland defeated the Yankees 5 – 2. An Empire loss makes me smile because I am with the Jedis. I am not going to do a better job at describing it than this from

“Down by a run entering the fourth, the A’s opened the frame with back-to-back doubles to tie the game, then Chris Coghlan scored the go-ahead run from second on a gutsy send by third-base coach Ron Washington on Josh Reddick’s single. Reddick scored on a sac fly.”

Back to my happy place. Lily Allen is crazy, I love her, and she smiles just like I did after reading that paragraph. See, you messed up my mental health, I was quite unwell.

When I see you cry, it makes me smile. At worst I feel bad for awhile.

A bit of normalcy returns in Atlanta, as the Dodgers finally put the Braves back in their place, beating them 5 -3 in 10 innings. It’s cruel to offer false hope, Braves. Just lose. I have a feeling that @professormaddog31 loves the following song, and Atlanta has been crazy town the last couple of nights (FRENCHY ARE YOU KIDDING ME? ROFL) so this is dedicated to my lady.

Butterflies in her eyes and looks to kill

Washington (I didn’t forget you tonight!) beat the Feesh, 3 – 1 en Miami. Estupido Loria come merdia no quiere gastar ni un chavo en este equipo.  Mereces mejor. Eso es todo que quiero decir.

Harper got an RBI porque duh, es un dia que termina en -s o -o. Joe Ross exited the game early with a blister, as did Jason Werth, leaving with a sore hammy (h/t some guy in Virginia). Wei-Yin Chen with the QS.

The Tigers ate the Royals, 3 – 2. That’s what you get for letting wild animals roam crazy in your stadium. Zimmerman did his thing because he’s awesome, striking out 8 and give up no runs for you! Victor Martinez recorded his 1000th ribbie.

Tiempo de celebrar!

Yo soy loca con mi tigre, loca, loca, loca…

Hollywood in Texas recorded his third win of the season, with his team defeating the Astros 2 -1 . Lots of 2 -1 games last night. Rougned Odor provided all the offense for the Rangers with a 2 run homer. Poor Fister gave it his full effort, pounding it out for 6 innings–ouch!, but alas, no support. Ten straight wins for Hamels.

The feast or famine Padres defeated the Bucs 8 – 2. The Padres’ Pomeranian pitched positively  great for a little lap dog, striking out 10 in 6 2/3. Matt Kemp sighting–he homered.

Seattle defeated Cleveland, yes, 2 -1. Way to be original, Seattle. Four 2 -1 games last night. Salazar and Taijuan Walker dueled with Walker being tagged for an unearned run. Love a great pitchers’ duel. Aoki provided the offense for the Mariners with a two run triple.

The Brewers went crazy on the Twins yesterday, 10 -5. The law firm of Braun, Lucroy, Carter & Hill Esq. did the damage.

Dearly beloved
We are gathered here today
To get through this thing called life

Electric word life
It means forever and that’s a mighty long time
But I’m here to tell you
There’s something else
The after world
A world of never ending happiness
You can always see the sun, day or night
So when you call up that shrink in Beverly Hills
You know the one, Dr. Everything’ll Be Alright
Instead of asking him how much of your time is left
Ask him how much of your mind, baby
‘Cause in this life
Things are much harder than in the after world
In this life
You’re on your own


Go and hug a crazy person today. If you can’t find one, it’s you. So, what did I miss? 🙂

37 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? (4/21/16)

  1. So every time a Yankee draws a walk in Yankee Stadium, there’s this (not so) catchy Johnnie Walker product placement. The way the Yanks’ season is shaping up, it’s not going to be their patience at the plate sponsoring my alcoholism.

    Liked by 3 people

  2. I was starting to get concerned about ZG, because he does generally have not so great outings in April, but usually he evens out by May. Looks like he might be getting there (finally). I’ll wait to withhold judgement until his next start, though. Still don’t trust the DBacks.


  3. Jordan Zimmermann has not allowed a run in any of his first three starts. He turns thirty in about a month, is signed to an eminently-reasonable five-year deal. You know, it’s a damn shame the Yanks didn’t have any money this winter to spend on free agents, because I dunno, a quality starter who is unlikely to blow up by the end of his deal sure would have been better than relying on a rotation consisting of four ticking time bombs, a kid who has never thrown more than 160 professional innings in his career and Nate Eovaldi.

    Fuck me.


      1. Yeah, it’s not that he (and the rest of the staff) don’t have good performances in them. Tanaka and Pineda were both solid the previous two games, and Eovaldi did not pitch poorly yesterday. But whether because of health or in Nate’s case location issues it doesn’t all get put together.


    1. I’m not so sure about the “unlikely to blow up” bits. The Nats’ front office believes that they understand Tommy John surgeries better than anyone else, and have made a science out of getting pitchers through rehab and back on the mound post-TJ, famously imposing innings limits and what not.

      One thing about their whole TJ system that hasn’t gotten much press is their belief that guys who have TJ surgery only get about eight years or so before they need a second TJ surgery. Zimmermann had his surgery a year before Strasburg (and was on an innings limit in 2011 that no one noticed because the Nats didn’t contend that year), and so by the Nats’ calculations he might need another in year three of that contract, which is one reason the Nats didn’t try to hard to re-sign him.

      Of course, this is all speculation on their part…


  4. Nice job, Indy. Entertaining, while still a little riff into that fragile oasis of sanity we all seek. Now to baseball.

    First, give credit where it is due. I was all over George Springer for his Little League game last Thursday. Over the last week he has shown why he is such a valuable player. But last night, especially, he gave a right fielder clinic. Find a video of the catch he made in the sixth (or seventh?). It would have left Grichuk gasping in awe. And he was a one-man run preventer in right when Giles loaded the bases in the eighth. Just an absolutely gorgeous fielder.

    Now the bad part. I am trying out new names for the Houston franchise today:

    The Houston LOB’s

    or for those of us more into the baseball community jargon:

    The Houston TOOTBLANs (personal preference for that one)

    For those of a more old-fashioned leaning:

    The Minute Maid Warning Tracks

    Or, for millennials:

    The H-Town RISPS

    Any more suggestions?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I wanted a humorous take on a serious subject. I love Greinke and was happy to see him succeed. Funny is how I deal with this crazy world. It was tricky though–I didn’t want to be flippant or disrespectful to very real struggles. Laugh through the tears, you know?


  5. greinke has good quotes too.

    Unfun josh donaldson fact: his dad never was in attendance at one of Josh’s games until 2013 or 14. mostly because he spent much of josh’ childhood in prison for slinging drugs and beating Josh’s mom.

    can you take the rest of the Nagels on you fantasy team? please?

    Aaron hicks threw out valencia at the plate in the Yankees A’s match. notable because A) it injured valencia, and because of the a’s inexplicable signing of billy butler to 3/$30M contract, the A’s have no roster flexibility, so they pulled their DH to play the infield meaning a pitcher had to hit. (Butler has been mercifully benched). also meaning that it was the first starting pitcher to have an at bat at the new yankee stadium

    And B) the throw was captured at 105. something MPH. the fastest recorded by statcast. grains of salt of course, stat cast has been around for 2 seasons, and where they pick up the reading is determines the speed. I don’t know how it’s calibrated. But yeah, that seems fast.

    i always forget about victor martinez

    good for Taijuan. he always had promise. didn’t do well against the A’s juggernaut.

    aw, but the brewers going crazy on the twins would make prince sad. that’s his team.

    “GO HUG YOURSELF” doesn’t have the bite I look for in a catch phrase.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Donaldson’s dad committed a sexual assault after he split up with Josh’s mom and he caught a long sentence. Every man on his father’s side of the family is either dead or they’ve served time.


      1. Yes. There is no way Josh is unscathed, but he is an amazing player and from all reports, a super guy. We can have baggage and still be good people. I have such admiration for Donaldson for overcoming the odds. His mom did a fantastic job, dedicating her life to his success.


  6. Minor nit to pick – Werth left early because of a tight hammy, not a blister.

    Not much else of note to the Nats’ game, other than Ross’s blister allowed Yusmeiro Petit to do Yusmeiro Petit things and pitch four very effective innings in emergency relief. Nats fans haven’t seen him go that long since he went six against the Nats in game 2 of the NLDS in 2014 (the 18 inning affair, where Petit shut them down in innings 12 through 17).

    A good chunk of the rest of the bullpen, one that Papelbon referred to last night as the best he’s ever been part of, finished up, with Oliver Perez, Blake Treinen, and Papelbon his own self each going an inning. I’m not sure that crew is better than what the Royals have run out there in recent years, or what the Yankees have at the back end of their pen, but if they keep getting the job done, I’m not going to argue with Papelbon.

    Scherzer’s on the bump today for the Nats, so here’s hoping he can do Scherzer things and keep the workload light on the pen; they’re not overly taxed down there, but all the same I’d guess they’d prefer to only have to get three to six outs rather than twenty-one again.


  7. The Feesh awakened this morning in an unfortunately accustomed position – suspended by the narrowest thread of circumstance, like Jonathan Edwards’ spider hanging over the pit of hell, just a half game out of the basement towards which they are beckoned by gossamer reality waves. The Gnats boolpen gave them a Delilah’s haircut last night after being called in early on blister dooty, and the Feesh wimpy wandsmen managed a solo home run by Derek Dietrick which barely made a dent in the Gnats’ threescore. They are now a wretched 4-9 and require only one chiasmatic evening of Barves victory and Feesh prat to begin redecorating and painting over the lines where the cinderblocks abut.

    Jar Jar Baseball was seen rifling his hobo sack for cliches about how early it is and how they have to get the big hit they’re not getting now and more consistency out of their boolpen and how the starters need to go deeper into games like, I dunno, this perhaps:

    Of course, if I knew doodly squat about Photoshopping I would have changed Playbill to Play Ball, but what of that. Jar Jar is really not enjoying the morning headlines very much these days, and perhaps, in his mind’s ear (such as his mind is), he can hear Scrooge McLoria, sitting in his padded cell, stropping his two prop swords from a couple of Highlander sequels against each other.
    I don’t know why, but I keep thinking of Gerard Depardieu as Danton advising the executioner to “Show them my head. It will be worth it!” (If you’re one of those otherwise well intentioned cinema illiterates who haven’t seen Depardieu’s Danton yet, fie – check it out from Netfiix and viva la revolucion!).

    Takeaways from last night: right now the Iron Giant couldn’t hit a beachball with a cricket bat. A fat hanging curve might as well be the proverbial Higgs Boson thrown past an astigmatic cyclops. He has now struck out in nearly half his at-bats and still reminds me of my nearsighted albino snapping turtle braining himself against the aquarium glass every time I walk past his tank. It is painful to watch. Right now he is colder than Ted Williams’ head but you figger he’s got to wake up sooner or later, right?

    As far as the strange attractor, it rests one half game away from receding back into the merely theoretical. This was the best image we could synthesize for it at its current distance:

    Yep, just another disturbance in The Farce.


      1. FWIW, he has slowed down over those years. Slowed down Prince Albert is still a pretty good baseball player, but his highest Angel OPS+ is lower than his lowest Cardinal OPS+.

        He did lead the league in GIDP two years ago.


  8. Solid work as always Inda! I love the videos. With the passing of Prince today we could all use some additional links. Like him or not…he was an insanely talented individual.


      1. Mrs twinsfan is pretty upset about it, although she doesn’t appreciate missing Jeopardy because there’s nothing but Prince stuff on all the local channels. I guess love has its limits.

        myself, no disrespect intended, sort of lost enthusiasm for his stuff after listening to my kids crank Purple Rain for the ten thousandth time. I will say that whenever I needed my kids to go someplace they didn’t want to go to (like school) I’d tell them “Prince used to go there all the time”. But my son dismissed my imitation of him by pointing out that he didn’t sound like Mickey Mouse.


        1. Probably so. You’re talking to a guy who last gave a crap about a top forty song was by Hurricane Smith (I forget what it was) in 1972 when me and my brother was sharing a one bedroom house in Fairbanks Alaska, electricity but no running water, a nice little out house on the back of the lot. I was lucky. He let me have the upper half of the sleeping loft (heat rises). Whichever of us who had to piss the worst in the morning had to suffer his way out of bed and re light the fire in the beautiful cast iron coal – wood burning stove and get a little heat going on.

          We were young, all things were possible, the music was beautiful, and you better stay off my yard!


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