It’s la madrugada, which means it is the witching hour. This is when the madness really happens. I respect the muse and when she wants to visit. Wake up.
He turned the power to the have nots, then came the shot. I think I heard a shot.
I would hear gun shots at night when I was studying at Barnard. Luckily, my bedroom faced an alley so I was not likely to get hit with a stray bullet. I didn’t want to get killed studying. I rented a room in Washington Heights back then, a poor Dominican neighborhood in northwest Manhattan. It was all I could afford. I would hear them as a kid too in the Bronx. Heard them in Kenwood–it was close to south St. Pete. Washington Heights is the home place of Manny Ramirez, where he grew up.
The funeral home next to the 168th St and Broadway train station always had young sad people milling about the front dressed in black. Another senseless death, I would think as I passed. My dad was friends with one of Manny’s high school English teachers. She said he was an idiot, but he could really hit a baseball. Yep. I wonder if she doubled as a major league scout.
Pedro Alvarez, Alex Arias, and history greatest’s monster, Alex Rodriguez, have all lived in Washington Heights. Lou Gehrig too, before it became the Little Dominican Republic. Rod Carew. It has cheap apartments in north Manhattan, and white people were bound to discover it. I hear they are cleaning it up, which is both good and bad. Lower crime is a great thing, but el sazon de el barrio is disappearing with gentrification. All the world needs is another fucking Starbucks. Why, when you could have un cafecito rico Dominicano?
Vin Scully and Stan Lee were born in Washington Heights too. Huh, maybe Wash Heights deserves its own post.
I call my homie black meet on the ave, I hit Wash Heights with the money in the bag… this is why I’m hot.
It seems appropriate to segue into NYY–“I represent New York, I got it on my back.” Tanaka was indeed hot yesterday, besting Iwakuma in a historic game: final score 4 – 3. It was the first time former Japanese team-mates faced off in a pitching match-up.
“It’s always exciting to be part of a game like this where ex-teammates face each other here in America on the big stage,” said the Japanese Norichika Aoki, lead-off Mariner hitter. The pitchers were reportedly very excited and I bet Japan was going nuts. (What says our Asian MLB correspondent, Ren? 🙂 )
My boy, Tanaka, did not disappoint, striking out 6 over 7 frames, walking none, and allowing only 2 runs.
The Yankees desperately needed this from Tanaka, having lost 4 straight. Brett Gardner went 3 for 4. Maybe a little girl gave him flowers to ignite his fire, a la McCutchen? HAHAHA, this is da Bronx, someone will give him syphilis before giving him flowers. Ya suck, Brett! What have you done for me lately? Tough love, these people. A-rod , who has been looking all of his 40 years, hit a 2 run homer too ending an 0 for 19 drought. Iwakuma didn’t have his best stuff, but that one costly mistake to A-rod made the difference: 7 IP/4ER/8H/3K/2BB.
You know who else is hot stuff? Bryce Harper.
I say next time Matt Damon gets himself in trouble, we don’t rescue him. Enough. He’s just damned irresponsible, if you ask me. Billions of dollars on one man, smdh.
Harper hit ANOTHER home run to give the Nationals a temporary lead in the 10th. He loves hitting at Citizens Bank Park. In 30 games, he owns a .319 BA with an .OPS of 1.049 and 10 home rums. Phillies, if you have the budget… you think maybe you might want to sign him? Will the rebuild be done by the time he is a free-agent? It will be in progress, and he would make a nice centerpiece. Of course, everyone wants to sign Bryce, but he really likes your park. Unfortunately, his hot-hot-hot…. stuuuuuuff was not enough to save the Nationals from falling to the Phillies, 3 – 2 . Guess who took the loss? Our mascot, Papelbon! Washington’s 7 game winning streak ends as the Phillies staged the walk-off on Galvis’ hit. Click ze video to zee fo’ yo’self. I don’t know where that accent came from.
The Reds are hot too. A hot mess. Their bullpen needs to be taken out of its misery.
You’re a hot mess, I’m loving it, hell yes! That video is a documentary of my early college years.
They dropped another one to the Cardinals, 4 – 3, making it 4 straight losses. They can thank their bullpen. If you think your bullpen stinks, it’s not as bad as this chain of bullpen fools. They have lost 5 of their last 6 games with their so called bullpen posting an ERA of 8.22 during this span. Hot mess. Catcher Eric Fryer went 3 for 3 for the Cardinals with 2 RBIS. He is now 6 for 6. In case you need help with the math, he is batting 1.000. That’s not bad. When Yadi goes down this season, and he will, keep your eyes on this boy. I don’t know how the Cardinals keep churning them out. Oh yeah. The Cardinals Way. Starters Moscot and Rosenthal got no decisions. I got lots of decisions. Where to hang my paintings and pictures. But I digress.
Nolan Arenado was nolan, nolan, nolan (sing it to Limp Bizkit’s Rollin’). I thought about posting a Limp Bizkit song as punishment to the Cubs for losing 2 of 3 to the Rockies. They played sucky, Limp Bizkit sucks, and Nolan was rollin’ rollin’ rollin’. Perfect, right? But that means I have to listen to Limp Bizkit, and I can’t. I just can’t. Even to troll our resident Cub Fans @longfootlefty and @professormaddog31. Instead, let’s just say Nolan was simply out of the Cubs’ league and too hot to handle.
Arenado provided all of the offense the Rockies needed, 2 homers, because the Cubs laid down like a dirty whore, wasting Lester’s fine effort. 2 – 0 was the final score. The Cubs run differential wants to return to earth, much like Matt Damon in every single damned movie.
Toronto got the win over Boston, 5 – 3. You know who is hot over there? Youngster Aaron Sanchez, pitching his heart out. Canada, you get rewarded with native son Bryan Adams, bringing the heat.
One caveat with Sanchez. Super small sample size, but checking his peripherals for 2016, his BABIP so far is .180. That is not going to last. His FIP is good, 3.55, but his BB/9 is poor. 3.15 BB/9. Well see how the young one adapts as the season goes on. I am nitpicking–Toronto fans, you have every right to be thrilled with this kid who pitched 7 innings, allowed 2 hits and 1 ER. But sometimes those number don’t tell the whole story. Shaw tagged him for a home run.
Oakland with the comeback win, 3 – 2 , because some like it hot.
Some feel the heat and decide that they can’t go on. That wasn’t Oakland yesterday.
Wow, I had forgotten how good the visuals are for that Power Station video. Chris Bassitt kept his team in the game long enough for the A’s to stage a comeback, going 7 innings while giving up 2 runs, 5 hits, and striking out 5. The A’s were stifled at first, as Royals starter Medlen held them to one unearned run and one hit through six innings. The following set up Reddick’s go ahead sac fly.
The Mets were also bringing the heat in Cleveland, besting them 6 – 0. Matz rebounded nicely from his last terrible start, going 7 innings and striking out 9. The Mets scored all of their 6 runs in the first two frames so the heat was on. The heat is….(beat beat beat beat beat) on. Why is the heat on? I live in Florida; are you trying to kill me? I’m burning up.
Cleveland’s Corey Kluber clubbed characteristically, no. This is not normal. I am a big fan of alliteration and playing with words. Worms too. I don’t know where that came from. Let’s move on before I really embarrass myself, more so than usual. You can’t spell embarrass without ass. Well, you could I guess, but you would be wrong. Alrighty.
Maeda had a solid outing for the Dodgers, and he’s the hotstepper, murderer of Giants. I don’t know if he’s a lyrical gangster. If I ever get to do this professionally, it will be my interview question to him. Most questions reporters ask are so boring.
I know what Bo don’t know…
The Dodgers beat the Giants lead by the Shark, Smadzijiajiaza, 3 – 1. Young Joc with a 2 run homer.
After all the heat in this post, let’s cool off a bit. This is one of my all time favorite songs. I cannot possibly pick a favorite song. It would be like picking a friend’s favorite smile or which sunrise was the most beautiful, but I can happily listen to this on repeat for hours. My baby boy Matt Moore–my baby’s got sauce. Your baby ain’t sweet like mine.
Cooling out, cooling out
Moore cooled off those bats, alright, with his sauce, striking out 10, and walking none. That’s how you cool off a team that came in hot, the White Sox. The Rays took the series with the 3 – 2 win. Brandon Guyer went berserk, going 4 for 4. This link is for @professormaddog31 only, unless you are closet romantics. She’s gonna get all googly eyed and girly when she reads about the love story of how Guyer met his sports reporter wife.
It began as a $50 bet.
It ended in marriage.
What happened in between is a story of sports, love and timing for Tampa Bay Rays and Durham Bulls outfielder Brandon Guyer and Lindsay Murphy, with a little bit of Hollywood mixed in.
“There’s no way you’ll ask. I’ll bet you $50! You’ll wimp out!”
Okay, enough of that mushy stuff. Let’s bring the heat!
Pittsburgh brought it. The Hot Boyz got a total of 17 hits and beat the Brewers 9 – 3. The charge was lead by McCutchen (send the man more flowers stat!) and Sean Rodriguez. The Bucs take the series from Milwaukee. Nicasio
Altuve was caliente for los Astros as he homered and got a 2 run single in yesterday’s 5 – 4 victory over the Tigers. Anibal Sanchez got tagged early and had a rough go of things. Fiers with the win. Salty, J.D. Martinez, and Kinsler homered for the losing effort.
Old Gator helpfully recapped the Marlins and Braves game. Bless you, Original Gangsta. I don’t have to look at either of those teams. Fell free to recap all Marlins and Braves games. Oh, yeah, the Braves won. Yippee!
I keep looking a this score over and over because it didn’t make sense. The Twins have a higher run total than their opponent, the Angels, which means they won, right? Holy crap! Will wonders never cease. Let me check that one more time. Yes, Twins 3 and Angels 2. Yes, that is a victory confirmed for the Twins. Oswaldo Garcia was the hottie in this game, forcing extras, and then giving the Twins the walk-off with a single in the 12th. Nice job, Twinkies. Garcia is the hot one in the city.
Finally, the Arizona Diamondbacks and the San Diego Padres (Baltimore and Texas are PPD). The Snakes were hot on the bats of Yasmany Tomas, who homered two times, and Drury and Gosselin, who homered once each. Corbin got the win; final score 7 – 3. Just reading about it, it’s getting hot in herre. Besides, some asshole turned on the heat.
So, what did I miss?