So, What Did I Miss? (4/15/16)

Good morning, babes. Happy Jackie Robinson Day. Today will be a leaner, but not meaner version.

I promised myself I would keep today’s recap short. Please don’t let me be misunderstood.

I love doing this. I love going to work and having one of my doctors ask me, “What happened last night in the game?” And my response is, “What game?” 🙂 I can tell them about any team. They laugh and shake their heads at their crazy baseball loving nurse. In addition, chatting with you guys is absolutely one of the highlights of my day. Sometimes, on a bad day, it is the highlight of my day. Sadly, I have had a few bad days recently, which is making a move to my beloved Dunedin on Saturday necessary, spring training home of the Toronto Blue Jays and the most beautiful beach, Caladesi Island (please stay away from this beach–even most local residents have never been here, and I like it like that. Empty, pristine, and all mine.) I will be one mile from the Jays’ practice facility @nbjays.

Your kind, supportive words on my rantings: thank you so, so much. I cannot express fully how much they mean to me. Fuck, who is chopping onions at this time of the morning? Asshole.

Anyhow, my move means that I am going to be extremely busy the next few days and the recaps will be that much shorter. I was told to do only east coast games and fuck the west coast because you are assholes for playing out there, heh. No, I won’t do that. I love Vin Scully, and I like our brethren team with the cool unis on the other bay with a shitty stadium. The west coast cannot help being wrong about time–despite what noted astronomer and rapper B.o.B. thinks, the earth is not flat. The problem is I have a hard time half-assing anything. I don’t know why I go extremes. Don’t worry. I will be back and loonier than ever in a couple of days. I just have to get some boxes unpacked and a new bunk bed made. I call the top bunk.

I’ll be alone, dancing you know it, baby. Will you recognize me? Will you call my name? Or will you walk away.

Don’t look now, but the Phillies have won 4 of 5, bolstered by their pitching. Yes, this baseball season is a nascent as… I don’t know, think of something really, really young. Like a newborn baby. Like that. Still, it’s better than anyone thought the Phillies would be at any point this season. Team pitching ERA is 2.50, and they have held their Opp. Avg.  to .185. You are going to win some games if you do that. Why yes, that is the best in the majors, since you asked. Yes, it’s true. Vince Velazquez and the Phillies blanked the Padres yesterday, 3 – 0: 9 IP, 16 Ks. Hat tip. This team is on fire.

This is the official BWW: Braves Win Watch. Did the Braves win yesterday? No. Moving on.

Seriously, I won’t shortchange Bryce Harper. The MVP became the youngest to 100 bombs, and his team smacked down the woeful ones, 6 – 2.

See you later, indeed. Booyah. He is amazing. He has never hit a grand slam before yesterday in the majors? Really? Is that true? It’s early, I haven’t had coffee yet. Did I hear correctly. Yesterday was Bryce’s momma’s birthday. Happy birthday, momma!!! Your boy can play.

Suzanne Vega is an alumna from my alma mater. FYI. I like her. Bryce is not left of center, but he’s out there somewhere. Who isn’t.

TWW: Twins Win Watch. I am such a hack. I just did that joke! I don’t care. 🙂 Nope, they didn’t win either. I love the two people who visit our website regularly who are fans of the Twins and the Braves, but I am having so much with them not winning. At this point, you root for the ineptitude. .082 with RISP. Ervin Santana pitched well, but Plouffe (another fun baseball name!) was his only source of run support, so there ya go. Mat Latos with the win, 3 – 1. Psssst. Chicago. The White Sox are 7 – 2. Chicago World Series? We have a long way to go, but that could be fun.

Speaking of ineptitude, what’s up with my boy Archer? Three straight shaky starts. He looked fine in Spring Training, but something is clearly the matter. The Rays need to right this pitcher. This season will go nowhere quickly if he is not fixed. Cleveland downed the Rays, 6 – 0. I think he just needs some TLC.

(Yes, filmed in Cleveland. 😉 Several years before I was even an idea. I picked this one on purpose. Yes, we do get weary. My sisters @professormaddog31 and @historiophiliac. We work hard.)

The Cubs beat the Reds in their typical gaudy fashion, 8 – 1. They sweep the Reds and lead the majors with most wins, 8. They scored 5 runs in the 8th. If someone wants to play the lottery in Chicago, I’d put money on 8. Hammel with the W. Cubs run differential is like a trillion. I’m rounding.

I am running out of time, so the rest of the scores, I will just do a quickie. Quickies in the morning are good too.

Tigers 7 – Pirates 4 (Cole grazed by a ball off his head, but was okay. Phew!)

Cardinals 7 – Brewers 0 (Jaime Garcia’s 4th career shut-out, 13 K, 1 hit. Sexy.)

Blue Jays 4 – Yankees 2 (Josh Donaldson!!! 5 HR so far. Goddammit, Beane, dafuq were you thinking? Thanks for unleashing this beast onto the AL East. Dick.)

Rangers 6 – Orioles 3 (Rougned roughnecked the Orioles.)

Royals 6 – Astros 2 I am running out of time, but seriously, you have to see this play. Statcast has Escobar at 19 mph. My top speed is like 9 mph on a treadmill for like 5 seconds before I die and say, “Fuck this.” 6 mph is more comfy. 19?!?!?! WOW.

Dodgers 5 – D’backs 2 (Enrique Hernandez, Puig, and Gonzalez provided the offense. This was the sole game I watched yesterday. So comforting to hear that voice before bedtime.)

Time to get ready for work. And with that, I leave.

John Hughes was the best. Except for Lana, every one of these songs appeared in one of his movies. I’ll do another post with his soundtracks. There are too many great songs.

So, what did I miss? I know I missed a lot, because work had a busy schedule. Nurse 4 Life.








39 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? (4/15/16)

  1. I didn’t realize Vincent Velasquez was still facing minor-league opponents. Still, I suppose that’s an impressive line even in the PCL.


    1. National League pitchers who threw a shutout with 16 K and 0 BB since 1920:

      Vincent Velasquez – 2016
      Max Scherzer – 2015
      Randy Johnson – 1998
      Kerry Wood – 1998
      Dwight Gooden – 1984

      Liked by 1 person

      1. No, I know. I’m just making fun of the Friars. I thought the reboot in Philly would take longer, but if VV and Nola stay healthy they’ve got a solid foundation in the rotation, along with Franco and company in the lineup, and they have the resources to fill the gaps in FA.


        1. Absolutely. We joke about the JV hitters, but doing that to any professional lineup is ridiculous.


        1. Yeah, both were great. If we had to split hairs, I’d take the 16:0 K:BB with slightly worse batted-ball luck, but, yanno, homers gonna homer.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. There was no Feesh game yesterday. They were napping, reading comic books, Simonizing their Lamborghinis (I have a pretty good recipe for lamborghini that doesn’t require any wax), listening to horrible music at some SoBe “glam” (stupid word) discos, or throwing frisbees to their dogs out back.

    That’s how you prepare for a series against the Barves. I’m planning to go to Sunday’s game and will file a full report from behind the extended wussynetting.


  3. Great moments in bad sportswriting, Washington edition:

    On the anniversary of the assassination of President Lincoln, Bryce Harper, Stephen Strasburg, and Wilson Ramos assassinated the Braves’ hopes for getting their first win.


    On the anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic, Bryce Harper, Stephen Strasburg, and Wilson Ramos combined to sink the Braves.

    No to both? Okay, then…

    Yes, Indaburg, that was Harper’s first career grand slam, and it was his 100th home run, and on his momma’s birthday, and if you watch the video closely, you’ll see he broke the scoreboard, as the lower half of the R in GOOD HUMOR disappears after the ball hit it. The kid’s trying his best to emulate Roy Hobbs, I think. (I was a little worried that he’d get drilled on a subsequent at bat because of his having to go back to re-touch first; Teheran looked a bit miffed to see him apparently trotting at a Big Papi pace, but cooler heads must’ve prevailed.)

    Meanwhile Strasburg does his best Lazarus impersonation and fights off the flu or whatever he had for 7 2/3 solid innings, and the aforementioned Mr. Ramos continues to be a walking advertisement for LASIK, as he homered and doubled to raise his average to .407. In other news, Freddie and Fredi both watched this one from the dugout, one mired in a slump, and the other possibly feeling his seat get just a tad warm, although it’s still really early.

    Nats/Phils this weekend to go with Caps/Flyers, to give the two metro areas lots of opportunities to question the legitimacy of each others’ parentage, come up with interesting ways to insert various body parts into various orifices, and generally lord the superiority of one’s sports team over the other’s.

    Liked by 2 people

  4. the act of moving is never fun, but new digs are good for perspective. Good luck. Also, good. It good that you can get out of a shitty situation.

    i missed everything yesterday, was super super busy fighting, then my kids had practice, so I was pretty much occupied and engaged with people from adults to kids being dumb. (really hats off to teachers, I cannot control a group of 8 elementary school kids).

    as for this east coast west coast Booooolshit, well, West coast trucks east coast sucks. First, I can watch games starting at 930 in the am. no waiting, second my games are done by 10 pm, no falling asleep. third, no fucking mosquitos. (well, some, but not enough to talk about). spend a couple weeks here. you’ll get it.

    harper is great, I was expecting a hot head to be hated, based on the stories coming with him, but I really like the guy (although, as you say, he is not likely a kindred spirit).

    god speed all you on BWW and TWW

    Liked by 3 people

        1. Sanford and Son?!?! Oh HELL YES!!! One of my all time faves! Still to this day I quote that show. 😀


  5. One mile from the Jays’ practice field? You just know I now have to look you up if we are down that way in March. You should already know everyone worth knowing there by that time.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You want to worry them? Tell them you have a bunch of baseball friends that are crazier than you are (that would be us). 🙂


        1. lol, I don’t know if you can out-crazy me. I am pretty fucking nuts… CD 4 Life, Baby! Woooooooo! (Seriously, this is me sober. Put a little Crown Royal in me, and oh, boy.)

          (CD = Crazy Dominican)

          But, I will tell them you come close! 😉


        2. Hehe, not just him. I was questioning whether there were a bunch of FIers in general crazier than you. There are a couple candidates.


  6. Hey gang! Just wanted to pop in real quick and let you know I’ve been crazy busy at work the past few days and will probably be insanely busy the next few weeks or so, so I may be a little less active than typical, but I hope to return real soon, and I have all the confidence in everyone on our staff to keep the place up and running in my stead. I’ll still keep an eye on things, so don’t be throwing any parties when you think I’m not looking.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. I was at the KC/Hou game Thursday night. Royals have not lost a step.

    The Astros appear not to have learned to walk yet. Their play was embarrassing. TOOTBLAN’s all over the place. They almost got shut out by Ian effin’ Kennedy for God’s sake. I swore loudly to all sitting around us that if they got shut out, I was a Rangers fan from now on. Sadly, I got some agreement on that one.

    And George Springer played like a ten year-old Little Leaguer with ADHD. Seriously, after last night I recognize his marvelous athleticism. But I have grave doubts about his baseball IQ. Poor guy looked lost in the complications of baseball play.

    We were not happy campers.


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