The Midnight Snack – Monday

Hey, peeps. Not too much on the menu today because momma is tired.

E.B. Barnum, GM:  What’s the old phrase? There’s a sucker born every minute? The Braves might be one of the most roaring dumpster fires in baseball right now, but there’s one thing they excel at, and that’s making a sucker out of the Diamondbacks.

As a Braves fan, I feel I understand bad trades. The oh so brilliant brain trust in the Braves F.O. and the Liberty Media mafia basically ripped the guts out of an already cheap, young team to get…whatever the hell we got now. But they do have some genuine talent down in the minors. For the last couple of years, the only trades that (in my biased but still pretty objective opinion) have benefited Atlanta at all have come at the expense of Arizona. The Braves have gotten two number one draft picks for basically Phil Gosselin and the ghost of Shelby Miller.

The only person who doesn’t feel like they are getting hoodwinked is Dave Stewart of the D’Backs. Don’t believe me? Here’s proof.

Your farm is barren, Dave. The chickens have flown the coop; the fox has not only raided the hen house but he’s also butchered your hog. Corn won’t grow. You lost the crop, and the barn’s burning down. Y’all need a little pick me up over in Arizona. May I suggest a Farm Aid performance from my favorite guitar pickin’ man and fellow Arkansan, Mr. Glen Campbell?

But Not All Hope Is Lost: Remember, I am polyamorous when it comes to baseball. The other love of my life is the Chicago Cubs. They are currently on a 6-1 start, the best since 1988! What a feeling. This team is fresh, revitalized, and the fan base is, too. Hell, so is Wrigley Field. I know a lot of people dump on her, but she’s like a old lady who, in her younger and prettier days, was a debutante. Yeah, she’s old, but she’s still got her charms, and she’s still beautiful where it counts.

Looking good. Looking pretty damn good.

I believe in this Cubs team. For the first time in a long time, I really feel like they have what it takes. Do I wish they had better pitching? Of course I do, but that’s because I’m a pitching snob and I am always wanting the best. But I can deal.

Now, of course, there’s another old saying. Only love can break a heart, only love can mend it again. Lefty, bro, you might to grab a Kleenex because this made me a little teared up.


5 thoughts on “The Midnight Snack – Monday

  1. I thought I heard during the broadcast that the Cubs have decided to put that HR ball Schwarber hit on top of the scoreboard back up there for the season.

    Sounds like a good idea to me.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. i can’t think of an A’s-braves trade other than hudson for Dan Meyer, Charles thomas and that really skinny firecracker pitcher who I can’t remember. but he was mad at the A’s for keeping him in the pen, but then went to the rockies or something and became a pretty good set up guy.

    That trade would have been OK for both sides if meyer hadn’t pitched through an injury and screwed himself up.

    i won’t speak of the a’s cubs trades because even though kendall for blevins and was pleasant, and harden for [redacted] was great, but it reminds me of [redacted] II. and of course {god dammit} and {you have to be shitting me} for {why god, why} and {we could really use that guy}

    Liked by 1 person

  3. We don’t see eye-to-eye on this, but the Braves have gotten plenty of value dealing with teams other than the D’backs. Getting four years of Shelby Miller for one year of Heyward was a strong trade for a team not contending in 2015 (and obviously set up this winter’s heist). Dumping Melvin Upton’s entire contract (save the $8 million they had to pay Quentin) in the Kimbrel trade was an absolute steal – Kimbrel was already paid pretty close to free market value, yet the Braves off-loaded nearly $40MM net in dead-weight salary and got back a competitive balance pick and a strong year from Cameron Maybin (who they subsequently spun off for the intriguing Gabe Speier) in the process. Trading a year of Justin Upton didn’t bring quite the return one might expect for a player of his caliber, but Max Fried is back from the zipper now, and your new boy Mallex Smith came over in that deal as well.

    Liked by 1 person

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