Hey, peeps. Not too much on the menu today because momma is tired.
E.B. Barnum, GM: What’s the old phrase? There’s a sucker born every minute? The Braves might be one of the most roaring dumpster fires in baseball right now, but there’s one thing they excel at, and that’s making a sucker out of the Diamondbacks.
As a Braves fan, I feel I understand bad trades. The oh so brilliant brain trust in the Braves F.O. and the Liberty Media mafia basically ripped the guts out of an already cheap, young team to get…whatever the hell we got now. But they do have some genuine talent down in the minors. For the last couple of years, the only trades that (in my biased but still pretty objective opinion) have benefited Atlanta at all have come at the expense of Arizona. The Braves have gotten two number one draft picks for basically Phil Gosselin and the ghost of Shelby Miller.
The only person who doesn’t feel like they are getting hoodwinked is Dave Stewart of the D’Backs. Don’t believe me? Here’s proof.
Your farm is barren, Dave. The chickens have flown the coop; the fox has not only raided the hen house but he’s also butchered your hog. Corn won’t grow. You lost the crop, and the barn’s burning down. Y’all need a little pick me up over in Arizona. May I suggest a Farm Aid performance from my favorite guitar pickin’ man and fellow Arkansan, Mr. Glen Campbell?
But Not All Hope Is Lost: Remember, I am polyamorous when it comes to baseball. The other love of my life is the Chicago Cubs. They are currently on a 6-1 start, the best since 1988! What a feeling. This team is fresh, revitalized, and the fan base is, too. Hell, so is Wrigley Field. I know a lot of people dump on her, but she’s like a old lady who, in her younger and prettier days, was a debutante. Yeah, she’s old, but she’s still got her charms, and she’s still beautiful where it counts.
Looking good. Looking pretty damn good.
I believe in this Cubs team. For the first time in a long time, I really feel like they have what it takes. Do I wish they had better pitching? Of course I do, but that’s because I’m a pitching snob and I am always wanting the best. But I can deal.
Now, of course, there’s another old saying. Only love can break a heart, only love can mend it again. Lefty, bro, you might to grab a Kleenex because this made me a little teared up.