So, What Did I Miss? (4/10/16)

You know what we have here? One more weekend. Sing it with him. If you don’t at least tap your foot to this song, I suspect you are dead.

The streak ends. I do not know if I can go on. My reason for being is over. Someone else needs to do the recap as I mourn no more Trevor Story puns. No more Storybook Romance. I am so, so sad. I need a moment of silence.

Okay, I’m good. Let’s do this. Story’s Rockies apparently were also in mourning for some reason because they were unable to play proper baseball and  lost 16 – 3 to the Padres. A good old fashioned beatdown. The Rockies might want to consider signing or trading for Matt Kemp. He really seems to like that Rocky Mountain High. Kemp hit two homers yesterday–“his fourth multi-homer game against the Rockies”– went 3 for 5 and has a total of 6 RBIs. In any event, the Padres brought the noise.

So for those keeping track, the Padres were shut-out the first three games of the season, and then proceeded to score 29 runs the last two nights. Make up your goddamned minds, compadres. This is all very confusing for a baseball fan.

As for the young Story, he sounds relieved the whole hullabaloo is  over. How do I know? Because he said so?

“I enjoyed it — mostly, the games we won,” Story said. “I didn’t enjoy it that much when we lost. It was cool. I wouldn’t say that I was putting pressure on myself to do that. [But] it’s kind of a relief.”

Along with Willy Mays (1971), Mark McGwire (1998), Nelson Cruz (2011), and Chris Davis (2013), Trevor Story will be remembered for having homered in the first four games of the season. No player has ever homered in the first five. There is always next year!

The Boston Red Sox and the New York Yankees, the flip side of the same coin, both won by the same score yesterday, 8-4. The Red Sox were playing the Blue Jays, who after beating the Rays the first two games of the season, have been on a bit of a slide, losing 4 straight. Dickey had a rough start: 5 IP/8 H/ 7 R/ 6 ER/2 BB/9 K. Well, at least the K/BB ration was good. Always look at the bright side.

The evil dwarf Pedroia went 3 for 5. Biggest Dicketh undressed Sandoval with his knuckleball. (h/t Kevin S.)

As for the Yankees, they defeated the Tigers as they returned to their hard hitting ways. I was watching MLB Network (duh) and they were saying that compared to this point last year, offense is way, way up. I thought so, but I doubted myself a little–maybe I was just noticing it more because of these recaps? It is freezing in the D (31 degrees at game time), and the ball should not be flying the way it is. The chacochicken hypothesis. I knew it.

Starlin Castro is only 26 years old and has 1,000 hits. Hot damn. Hall of Fame if he continues this pace, someday? I thought the same thing as Kevin S. but he’s a little insecure, so I better mention that he thought it too or else he thinks I am ripping him off. 😉 Love ya, baby boy, kisses.

C.C. Sabathia pitched decently for the Empire. Although I never root for the Yankees, I am rooting for Sabathia. History’s biggest monster, A-rod, hit career homer # 688. Pelfrey looked like crap for the Tigers, falling behind on 2-0 and 3-0 counts to five of 19 batters. He knows it too:

“I’m a firm believer that this game’s all about execution and making pitches, and I didn’t do that, so I got my butt whipped. That’s what happens.” — Pelfrey

Over to San Francisco, where MadBum hit a home run off of Kershaw. Uh huh. He did.

You have permission to strut, Madbum. You are the man. It was his second career home run off of the Claw. I am sure there are not many major leaguers who can boast of hitting two home runs off of the best pitcher in the game.

I was watching the game live, but I missed Kershaw’s reaction. h/t professormaddog31 for providing the following:

Please click the play button; it is worth it. In case you cannot read lips, Kershaw said, “Are you fucking shitting me?” Hahahaha..I love it. The Dodgers won 3 -2 in 10 innings.

The Reds handed the Pirates their first loss of the season, 5 – 1. Even though the Pirates got 10 hits, they could only muster 1 measly run of support for Gerrit Cole. Young Cole is one of the best pitchers in the game, yet he cannot seem to figure out the riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma that is the Cincinnati Reds.

The right-hander is 0-5 with a 5.30 ERA in seven career starts against Cincinnati and 40-16 with a 2.90 ERA against everybody else.

It must be the three-way. It upsets his stomach. Eugenio Suarez went boom.

Speaking of no run support, the Phillies defeated the Mets, 1 – 0, giving them their first win of the season. Ryan Howard provided all the offense with his solo home run. Bartolo Colon made this basket catch:

You try making that catch. You missed, didn’t you? The wonders never cease with Colon. I hope he pitches until he is 60. (Side note–I apologize for the fuzzy picture. I recorded that and uploaded it to youtube because seemingly makes it damn near impossible to embed their videos. Does anyone know how? Thanks!)

I hope Colby Rasmus has  learned his lesson. I should have included the way his slide ended the game the other night–I’m all apologies.

Professormaddog31 was on it though, and discussed it in her snack along with Keuchel’s dumb-dumb reaction to the rule. At least he avoided insulting women.

The Chase Utley Rule has already impacted a couple of games and the Talking Heads on the MLB Network were all abuzz about it yesterday. Generally though, they were in favor of it and understood the necessity of protecting the middle infielder. They said the problem is that major leaguers basically don’t know how to slide anymore, and they need to be taught the proper way to slide into second base. No one said anything about the game being sissified. Praise be.

Rasmus is over it though. He hit a couple of homers yesterday in the Astros 6 – 4 win over the Brewers, so that slide is but a distant memory. The Fister pitched for the celestial ones, going 5 innings and giving up 5 hits, 3 ER, while striking out 6 and walking 2. Also, this:

Braves, Braves, Braves. What am I going to do with you guys? Someone really needs to put this team out their misery. That was some sloppy ass play. I can take a well-played loss, but don’t give the game away. I will let summarize this:

The Braves struggled behind Julio Teheran, who allowed five runs (four earned) in four innings and was stung by two wild pitches, a passed ball, and a three base error.

Really? The Cardinals feasted on this comedy of errors (ouch, mixed metaphor alert–leave me alone, I’m tired) and burned Atlanta, 12 – 2. I’m thinking we should literally burn Atlanta. Where is Sherman when you need him? They can play next year in their new White Flight Stadium (I wish I could buy the naming rights). Kolten Wong brought his bat and got three hits off the lowly Barves, although he probably could have gotten the same results smacking the ball with his hand, that team is so sorry right now.  To be fair, both teams committed three errors, so watching this game would have made me gouge my eyes out (the highlights… er, lowlights are killing me) but the Braves ones were the costly ones. The Braves are the only winless team left in the National League, and yes, they are going to go 0 – 162. If you’re going to suck, be a historical suck. Go big or go home. Okay, okay I’m being a little mean. I’ll say three Hail Marys and an Our Father. All better. I’m sorry, prof. Just watch the Cubs.

Speaking of the Cubbies, fly the flag. They are back to their winning ways against the D’backs to a tune of 4 – 2, giving Greinke the business. That’s two uncharacteristic Greinke starts, although he still may be feeling  residual effects from the flu. Or he’s nuts. You know crazy people. They can’t pitch worth shit. I kid, I kid! 🙂 We’re all crazy.

I imagine Rizzo and Bryant listen to this song together all the time. “Yeah when I’m with you, I have fun! Yeah when I’m with you, I have fun! Yeah when I’m with I have, I have fun! Anyhow, Kendricks outpitched the ace, while Zorilla Gorilla had himself a night: 3 for 4, reaching base four times.

Eric Hosmer is a hero. No, he didn’t do anything on the field. He went to a Justin Bieber concert (I KNOW, hahahaha) earlier this week. As he was leaving the concert, a young girl was being trampled by the fans surrounding the ballplayers, and he came to her rescue. Nice catch, Hosmer, h/t.The modest Hosmer said the following:

“… The girl [falling], that happened before we all realized what was going on. Just helped her up real quick, nothing heroic. Just doing what every guy should do — you see a gal on the floor, you help her up.”

Justin Bieber concert though, uh, well… thank goodness you were there to save the girl. Serendipity, I suppose. And because I hate all of you, here is a Bieber song to celebrate Hosmer’s heroism. Pro-tip: Mute the sound and just look at all the hot girls dancing. It’s excellent dancing and Bieber does not appear in this video. I am not a monster. Sorry, not sorry. One thing I do like is that he included fantastic dancers of all shapes, sizes, and colors. Am I actually praising something Bieber-related? Jesus, I am getting soft.

As for his team, the Royals trampled the Twins, 7 – 0. Moustakas and Cain went back to back, and Ian Kennedy was on point: 6 2/3 innings, 5 H, 0 R, 7K, 1 BB. Chien-Ming Wang pitched a scoreless 9th for their majesty, his first MLB appearance since 2013.

Okay, I’m tired.

Chicago White Sox 7 –  Cleveland 3 (Avisail Garcia’s first homer of the year. Chris Sale with the home cooked victory.)

Athletics 6 – Mariners 1 (A’s secure the series with LHP Rich Hill striking out 10 for them.)

Rangers 4 – Angels 1 (Bad news for the Rangers. C Robinson Chirinos is going to the DL with a broken right forearm which occurred when a foul ball hit him while batting. Cole Hamels looked good.)

Let’s send in early April the two teams with a roof over their heads from a sunny and warm climate to a cold climate where it is raining. Brilliant scheduling, MLB!! Miami and the Nationals, postponed due to the inclement poopy yucky cold wet weather which I no longer ever have to deal with as long as I live. Blame it on the rain.

The Tampa Bay Rays and the Baltimore Orioles were postponed due to that same rain, go figure. There are advantages to playing in an ugly dome. Welcome to the terrordome.


58 thoughts on “So, What Did I Miss? (4/10/16)

  1. Let’s play a game. It’s called “What H/Ts did Johanna give Kevin that really belonged to COPO because she’s still sore about the Starlin Castro thing?”


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you! Bring the Noise is one of my all-time favorite songs. “Bass! How low can you go!” Love me some Anthrax and Public Enemy. I listen to quite literally everything. Music–I love music so much. I want to take it all in.

      This morning, I had Bach’s Toccata and Fugue blasting, and my kids yelled at me to turn it down. Fugues for the win! Repetition and coda, just like a good pitcher.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Toccata and Fugue is one of my favorite pieces of music. I bought tickets to Carmina burana by the Colorado Symphony for my wife’s birthday next week.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. Toccata and Fugue is the best speeding ticket firm in Macondo. They got my sonic boom charge dismissed for $61.00 inclusive, and I didn’t even have to show up in court.

          Liked by 2 people

      2. I like all genres as well…with the exception of country. I can listen to old school classic country. But that crap they are coming out with right now is nothing more than pop with a few twangs mixed in here or there.


        1. I’m fine with Country, but much like Rap, I can only stand it in small bursts. Too much of it ends up being too repetitive for my tastes and it all starts to blend together. As with both genres, I prefer the older stuff to the newer stuff.

          Liked by 1 person

  2. “Ryan Howard provided all the offense with his solo home run. Bartolo Colon made this basket catch”

    2006 called and wants its sentence back.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. The Big Piece has 2 homers already. The ball he hit off fat boy last night in the freezing cold was classic Ryan Howard, to left field. If it were warmer, it would have been into the second deck.

      That said, Howard’s fielding now is god-awful. He’s destined for the AL.

      Liked by 1 person

        1. Juiced baseball? LOL! Not sure about that. I was watching the Piazza 9/11 HR video yesterday and the first thing I thought of was “look at the size of Piazza’s arms compared to players today.” No doubt in my mind he was juicing.


        2. I think they did something to the ball. They should not be flying out of parks at this rate in early April at such low temps. MLB Network confirmed that offense is way higher this year than this point last year. I don’t have the exact stats.

          It could be the juiced ball (the chacochicken hypothesis) or the different strike zone being called–but something has shifted dramatically from last year to this year. Hitters didn’t suddenly get stronger. Of course, beware small sample size and all. But balls should not be flying out of Detroit in 30 degree temps. Something is going on.


        3. You could be right. They may have juiced the ball to increase the offense. I remember when they did it in the 80’s. They juice the ball by tightening the string about the rubber that is in the center of a baseball.


  3. I’m still not worried about ZG. April is traditionally an off month for him. Now, if he keeps pitching this way in the middle of May, then we can panic.

    Listen, I already knew going into this season that the Braves were going to be the smelliest illegal chemical dump site dumpster fire that anyone could see. Last night, I watched the game and every other pitch (because regardless of how many pitchers Hart and Co have signed, they still don’t have the right kind) I was muttering to myself. “Damn it. Damn it. Oh, goddamn it. This is bullshit.”

    Because I am not the kind of person who reads “Fifty Shades of Grey” and gets off on it, I switched over to the Brewers game just in time to see Wily Peralta pitching just as poorly as Terehan. But thank goodness for my boy Scooter Gennett, who hit another homer last night, a beaut, too. Scoot’s career MLB high for home runs is nine for a season. He’s already hit three this year! I hope this is a breakout year for my boy. Yesterday was also his anniversary, too. Happy anniversary, Scoots and Kelsey. Heart eyed emoji. I love love.

    And then I saw Captain Caveman (and son) hit back to back jacks off Peralta and despaired over life, so I switched back to the Braves game.

    Then I just gave up altogether and watched two episodes of Daredevil, which was just as bloody but ultimately more interesting. 🙂


      1. OMG. For real, though. It’s gotten to the point to where after every tender moment, I say, “Aaaaaaaaand….ninja.” Because you know that a ninja is going to show up.

        Daredevil Season Three – Karen becomes a ninja.

        Liked by 2 people

  4. I would like to say one thing to Joe Maddon: “Hail Szczur!”

    You know the Jorge Soler you didn’t trust enough to lose Dexter Fowler’s phone a couple months ago? Well, he hasn’t gotten any better @ baseball. Those 97 at bats from 2014 were a mirage, but, sadly, that goofy nine year $30 million contract is not. Did I mention he’s bad @ baseball?

    Liked by 1 person

  5. After an inexplicable day orf on Friday, the Feesh were blustered out yesterday. So, there’s going to be a doubleheader (remember those?) on May 14 when they again engage the Gnats. Hillary Hardhat ought to have the Democratic nomination all sewed up by then, while that faux Texan with the face of an acromegaliac cockatiel and Donald Saggingjowls ought to be downstairs on their respective trainers’ tables getting rubbed down for the impending brawl (I understand that the RNC is considering a ten cent beer night in Cleveland just ahead of the first polling of delegates).

    I hope Jar Jar Baseball is using the time to reconsider his nonsensical decision to bat Ozuna second.


  6. I haven’t been on WordPress in a couple of years. I like this feature that shows all of your comments on the right side of the screen in real-time.


  7. in the A’s game, the first base ump gerry davis, was overtuned twice. One was a dive by the firstbaseperson who touched his glove to the base just before the runner, so it was an understandable flub. but the other was a routine bang bang play, that looked safe to my naked eye, yet was called out.

    rich hill, as its been noted, had started 6 games since 2010. he has struck out 10 in 4 of them. Lesson being, if you want free pizza, go to a rich hill game.


    1. Can you really call Papa John’s “pizza” though? Maybe 15 years ago when it didn’t taste like hypocrites and greediness. 😛


      1. Awful pizza. I avoid all chain pizza if possible, and Papa Johns in particular tastes so bad.

        In college, I dated a boy who attended Kings Point. He was from Ohio. We did so much in NYC together to the point where he was bragging how much he felt like a “real New Yorker.” We were hungry one day and decided on pizza. I pointed out two pizzerias equidistant to us. Pizza Hut and some hole in the wall–we were near Times Square. “Which one do you want?” I said. He said, “Pizza Hut.” I laughed, “uh huh. You are no New Yorker. No real New Yorker would pick Pizza Hut. Trust me, we’re going to the other place.” That Pizza Hut was there for tourists.

        Liked by 1 person

        1. i’ve actually never had “papa johns.” i imagine its terrible. we get free pizza coupons from the stadium every once in a while. the kids get excited, but i will never redeem because its, i don’t know, maybe pizza hut? is that still a thing?

          they are young enough that they forget after a while. ALmost old enough to explain how terrible corporate pizza is.


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