Matt Harvey Needs to Pee More

 

ESPN reports that Matt Harvey has been cleared to start on Opening Day after passing some blood clots from his bladder. For those unfamiliar with the condition, (a) it hurts and (b) it is related to urinary stasis. That’s fancy nurse talk for Matt Harvey needs to go relieve his pee-pee more.

“I guess the main issue is I hold my urine in for too long instead of peeing regularly,” Harvey said with a laugh. “I guess I have to retrain my bladder to use the restroom a little bit more instead of holding it in. I guess that’s what caused the bladder infection.”

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Gentlemen, as the resident nurse, this is your PSA for today. Go pee. Often. Do not hold it in. You’re welcome.

Edit: Socratic posted something similar, but this is more of a public service announcement. This is sort of my area of expertise. And remember…

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27 thoughts on “Matt Harvey Needs to Pee More

    1. No, but at least wait until you get to a toilet bowl or outhouse. Don’t hold in farts either unless you’re in an elevator. That’s a dick move, farting in an elevator.

      Speaking of farts, I am convinced the reason why women feel more gastric pain than men is they want to be “ladies” and won’t fart. I haven’t done a formal research study but I see it all the time. As a nurse, I encourage them to do it, and they feel so much better afterwards and look at me in wonderment–“How did you know a fart would get rid of my pain?” I have actually high-fived patients after a good fart.

      Ladies, that’s your PSA. Fart. Also pee. We get UTIs too.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Take him up in a helicopter, tell him you’re going to throw him out and stop at the last second. Do it several times. Rush him right up to edge of the subway tracks as a train comes roaring up. That’ll make him piss his pants. Make him swill caffeinated beverages all day. Make sure he’s surrounded by the sound of running water everywhere he goes.

    Tell him that If he doesn’t pitch I’ll trade him to West Virginia as a pick axe operator!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Indy, I wasn’t sure what it was, but, figured I was guessing correctly based on experience. I mentioned urinary tract infection because I had one in college. Our student union had a fireplace in the round (southern Kansas, near Wichita), and we actually burned a fire in the winter. I would sit next to that, wearing a cashmere overcoat, and still felt cold.

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        1. Indeed. I once found myself cocked, loaded, and ready to fire standing over a bar bathroom sink. I mean hey it was a large, white porcelain object and nobody was saying anything.

          Liked by 1 person

        1. That sure didn’t work.

          If the URL doesn’t end with a .jpg or .png or similar, it won’t post the image here.

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