Ladies, gentlemen, non-binary types, introducing the 2016 F.I. Derek Jeter Memorial March Mascot Madness bracket!
We have a field of 32 mascots. Every team, with the exception of the Yankees, is included in some way. Only because they don’t have a mascot, no one remembers Dandy – the dumbass mascot they halfheartedly introduced in the 70s for a hot minute – and if I put the real mascot of the Yankees, Sainted Derek Jeter, he’d win in a landslide.
So in lieu of that, we’ve named the bracket after him to keep the Yankees fans among us happy.
With so many extra spots, I had to get creative. Many teams have multiple mascots roaming around the stadium. Some have lady counterparts to their regular mascots. I’ve added the two most popular of the female mascots. The Angels do not have a mascot, but they do have the Rally Monkey, which might as well be an unofficial mascot as they sell Rally Monkey swag at their park. The Brewers have the Racing Sausages, which are actually more popular and beloved than the actual mascot of the team. And the Braves – long sponsored by Atlanta-based Home Depot – have corporate mascot Phil the Bucket that sometimes wanders around, but is a very popular mascot in Braves Country.
I’m posting the bracket here. If you want to fill in your own trackable bracket, you can use this website, which has an easy to use PDF system.
Tomorrow, we begin in earnest. Take your time, look over the mascots and argue among yourselves. Remember that I am not the NCAA, I don’t take bribes, and I do care about mid-majors (shout out to Monmouth).
EDIT: YES I KNOW STOMPER IS IN THERE TWICE. I just noticed it. Please change Stomper who is going against DJ Kitty to the Racing Presidents. Thank you.