Today I cast my vote for Donald Trump in the Illinois primary*. In doing so, it led me to wonder which former or current ballplayer most closely resembles Trump in look, personality and/or overall style of play. Then, of course, I was on a path of conducting this exercise with every candidate. I’ve put mine below, but feel free to tear them apart or come up with your own.
The Grand Old Party
1. Donald Trump = Pete Rose
There are so many similarities that I actually won’t bother trying. I’d rather you guys and gals do some of that for me. Plus, you can see more about the “Loudmouth endorses the Loudmouth” (or did he?) on Professormaddog’s post from earlier this morning.
2. Ted Cruz = A. J. Pierzynski
Both Ted and A.J. are generally not liked by their their peers, or is it their fans? They also each have a level 12 face on the punchable scale.
Honorable mention to Jonathan Papelbon.
3. John Kasich = Nick Swisher
Give it a rest, Brohio! No one cares about your lame positive vibes and everyone knows you are a has-been, if not a never-was-been. Why don’t you both leave us alone and go practice something useless like bunting or trying to defund Planned Parenthood.
4. Marco Rubio = Jose Altuve
For size alone. Nothing more.
Question: If Marco Rubio is 184604024.3677312 Altuves from being the Republican nominee, how far away is he in feet?
1. Hillary Clinton = Alex Rodriguez
Both are great at what they are, and hard working as all hell, but to a fault. They would also eat your baby just to be 2% greater. Nom nom nom!
2. Bernie Sanders = David Eckstein
Kind of a tangent, but when I think of the ultimate scrapper, I think of this line from Braveheart. So I’ll leave it with that.