March Mascot Madness! – Introduction


It’s March Madness. Those of us who love college basketball (hi Kevin S. and COPO) love this time of the year. It’s exciting and fun and part of that fun is watching teams go up the bracket.

Baseball doesn’t really have the need for bracketorbits, which is a shame. But it doesn’t have to be that way.

This is an introduction to March Mascot Madness! We’re going to pit mascots against each other and seeing which one reigns supreme. I am still working on the seeding for the mascots, but I will have it up by the end of the week.


How it will work is this:  I will post a bracket that has the major MLB mascots on it. I promise I will not allow my personal preferences to affect the seeding – you don’t have to worry that you’re going to see Orbit as the rigged winner, okay? I mean, if imagehe does win, that’s cool, but I’m not going to make the bracket weighted heavily towards my favorite furry alien.

So for now, talk amongst yourselves. Who is your personal favorite mascot? Who do you hate with the fire of a thousand suns? Many teams have multiple mascots; which team do you wish would get rid of their official main mascot and use one of their secondaries?

42 thoughts on “March Mascot Madness! – Introduction

    • My opinion? If there’s a bright centre to the universe, you’re on the planet that it’s farthest from.

      How many are storm trumpers and or voters? I’m guessing that Wally is because he voted trump in Mass. SMDH


  1. Does every team have a mascot? Fredbird kinda sucks….so, if you need to leave one out to make the number in the brackets work out as we methodically re-affirm the hegemony of the Philly Phanatic, you can leave him out.

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        • A dimly lit bar in southern Florida, soft music in the background with all televisions tuned to the real housewives…..

          Clark and Southpaw are smiling into each others eyes over a glass of wine and a nice steak…

          Southpaw; ” Hey there sweetie, what are you thinking about?”

          Clark;” Nothing…well, not nothing, you know…mascot stuff.”

          Sp;” Come on Clark, after these past few days together…are you really going to keep me out now? You didn’t want me out this morning..hehehe…or last night either.”

          Clark;” Okay, if you really must know….. I ran into Mr. Met after the split squad game this afternoon…..and…and…he says he misses me…and..”

          Sp;” Stop right there…nope…no fucking way..tell me you’re not getting back with that asshole…after what he did with Harvey behind your back? I mean we both talked about this being just a spring fling…but I thought that …maybe….we have a connection!”

          Clark;” No…it’s not that, I mean…this has been the best week of my life..( slowly leaning in as his furry hand reaches out inch by agonizing inch )..I only brought him up to see if….if…you felt the same thing?”

          Sp;” Oh my, aren’t you a cuddly little thing ..( staring coyly over his glass of night train )…no my love….I like my bears needy…( gently reaching out to grasp the furry paws into his own )…needy types are the craziest in bed.”

          Clark;” What do you say we pay the bill….and go have some real fun?”

          Sp;” First….give me a taste….just a small taste of that maw of yours..( as they lean in each tilting their heads at the precise angle…like they were old lovers instead of two young mascots…their eyes slowly closing..)..just a small taste.”


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  2. I have to vote for my old nemesis, the Phillie Phanatic. Back in the 80s, he was a real shit. He beat a full sized dummy of Gary Carter at the Vet. I was there, I witnessed it. Who beats Gary Carter with a bat? A monster, that’s who. He wasn’t one of these sanitized cute mascots. For representing his city with gusto. For giving me childhood nightmares. The Phanatic wins. /curtsy

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