On This Day in History: Jordany Valdespin’s Junk Edition

Three years ago today, Justin Verlander murdered at least one million of Jordany Valdepsin’s future children with a 94 mph fastball.* It was a terrible day for mankind, specially the “man” part. To this day, the whereabouts of Valdespin’s crown jewels remain unknown. If you have any leads on their location, please contact the authorites immediately.

New York Mets v Detroit Tigers
LAKELAND, FL – MARCH 11: Jordany Valdespin #1 of the New York Mets reacts to being hit in the groin by a pitch from Justin Verlander #35 of the Detroit Tigers during the spring training game at Joker Marchant Stadium on March 11, 2013 in Lakeland, Florida. The Mets defeated the Tigers 11-0. (Photo by Mark Cunningham/MLB Photos via Getty Images)

Here’s some choice commentary from the Hardball Talk post about this momentous event:

“No one better laugh at this. If you do laugh you are a cruel, cruel person. Poor kid. That looks real painful. You can never use that image again, Craig. Jeez.”  – Cur68

Sorry Cur, no one said I can’t use the pic again! And about laughing at this man’s pain…

“OMG, I’m crying I’m laughing so hard. Yeah, fastball to the dick — always hilarious.” – Historiophiliac

Did I really have to tell you who wrote this?
“ಠ_ರೃ” – El Bravo
Uh, what?
And here’s a few more comments made at Valdespin’s expense.

“So i guess you can say that pitch was right down the pipe.” – Jerze2387

“Right in the Valdespeen!” – Al

“If that had been A-Roid, there would have been a loud bong-g-g-g-g-g-g.” – Old Gator

I assume Gator meant that ARod wears a steel chastity belt to preserve his virginal purity.

Valdespin not in pain, but being painful.


*Shout out to Facebook memories bringing me back to my post about this incident.

8 thoughts on “On This Day in History: Jordany Valdespin’s Junk Edition

  1. Historio hasn’t chimed in yet because she’s still trying to catch her breath from the laughing fit when you reposted that picture. Wait for it…


  2. Thank you baby Jesus for the Friday Jordany Junk Shot. This should be a national holiday. I’ll start a petition. How many right-to-lifers can I get to sign before they catch on to my plan???


      1. Couldn’t have happened to a better homophobe, but the gif of Cervelli getting hbpid is my favorite for the commentary…no, that was not his collarbone…hehe


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