To Beard or Not to Beard

That is the question. Let’s do what we do best: argue over matters of utmost importance.

What looks better?

Exhibit A: Daniel Norris

Exhibit B: Dallas Keuchel

Exhibit C: Sean Doolittle

Exhibit D: Derek Norris, pissed vs. really pissed

Exhibit E: Jake Arrieta

Exhibit F: Danny Espinosa

Exhibit G: Craig Kimbrel

Exhibit F: Bryce Harper (@professormaddog31, you know you love him)

Exhibit G: Brian Schlitter

Exhibit H: Kevin Quackenbush:

Exhibit F: Brian Wilson. I know he didn’t pitch in 2015. I forgot what is underneath that thing.


“If you notice, the people with the big giant beards usually aren’t the best looking fellas,” Wright said, laughing in an article last year for USA Today. “If you’ve got a beard you’re obviously trying to hide something. That’s my take on it.”

I disagree with Wright. These men are not unattractive.

(Brought to you by Gillette Fusion Proglide.)




47 thoughts on “To Beard or Not to Beard

  1. I never understood the need to look like an NHL player during the playoffs. I definitely don’t agree with the Yankees and now Feesh with their “clean shaven” policy, but if you are going to have a beard, at least keep the thing trimmed enough that birds and small animals aren’t tempted to nest in it.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Look Indy, we know you are getting older and you have to decide whether or not to let your beard fill in or keep it shaved, but I don’t think this post will help us give you advice.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It has been pointed out to me that this may be my last day on Earth.

      If that is so, it has been a pleasure knowing you all and enjoy the upcoming baseball season.

      Liked by 3 people

        1. Now that’s just plain weird. Based on feedback I get, I think my current look works just fine but, really, thank you sincerely for the grooming suggestions.

          Please shave your gross beards now.


        2. Nothing hotter than a woman who embraces her body hair. Braid your armpits and cornrow that bathmat growing out of your back….I’ll come running.

          I can’t remember the last time I actually shaved. Not even sure I could find a razor around here anymore. I just drag some clippers across my face when the mood strikes me. I’m pretty much always somewhere around the “before” pics of Arrieta and Keuchel.


        3. Blech. I am very athletic and I sweat a lot. Things get um, funky. Latinas are hairy women. Grooming is needed.

          That’s confusing. Keuchel before is that cutie with the light fuzz, after is the Duck Dynasty. Arrieta before is that bearded beast and after is the handsome man.


        4. I was clean shaven when I lived in TX because it is fucking hot.

          Now in CT, I have a beard year around…shorter in the summer and longer in the winter. During the summer, I can use an electric trimmer with the adjustable guard, but that thing only goes to about 5/8″ or so. Once you grow it longer, you have to use scissors to keep it trimmed…and really, it is a bit of a pain in the ass to do it and keep it all the same length. During the winter, when it gets long enough that you can feel your beard blowing in the wind, then I trim it shorter. Having a longer beard makes a huge difference in keeping your face warm.

          Now, I am not complaining, because as a guy, grooming and maintenance are way simpler and cheaper….but trying to keep a nicely trimmed longer beard can be a pain in the ass….and, let’s face it…we are fucking lazy.


  3. Maybe these fellows have beards because they look like their asshole fathers when clean shaven and don’t want to be reminded of him on a daily basis. I could be the only one that does it for that reason though.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. They fuck you up, your mum and dad
      They might not mean to, but they do.
      They fill you with the faults they had
      And add some extra, just for you….

      …Phillip Larkin

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I had beard into my early 50’s, when the whole thing turned grey. Made me look so old I was afraid the company would retire me.

    I will start this by saying I am a happily married man and have remained well-behaved for my entire marriage. (many many years)

    But I got a lot more attention from the ladies when I had a beard than I did without.


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